


A Relative Convergence

by pbmolecules



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Anal Sex, Castiel POV, College Student!Cas, Dealing with situational depression (light), Dean POV, Death of a Parent, Domestic, First Meeting, Fluff and Angst, Happy Birthday, M/M, Romance, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, domestic!Cas, domestic!Dean, kitchen smut, loss of a parent, mechanic!Dean, plug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-08-25 16:55:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 76,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16664629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pbmolecules/pseuds/pbmolecules
Summary: AU.  Dean had a lot of shit to deal with.  There was all sorts of fall-out from the death of his father.  A mortgage, bills, adult shit, and being more of a dad and less of a brother for Sam.When Sam answers the door and lets in a guy he doesn’t know, Dean thinks he might lose his mind.  He can’t possibly be responsible for another thing.  But Castiel looks so lost.  And his eyes are so blue.  And...damnit.Letting him in the door just might lead to letting him into a lot more.Romance, angsty, fluff, domestic





	1. The House In Kansas

**Author's Note:**

> I still do not own Supernatural or its characters. Maybe in an alternate universe where this shit is canon!!! :D
> 
> A/N: Cas is pretty sad at the beginning of this, but it won’t last. You know I got the fluff comin’!
> 
> Special thank you to Shellz! You keep me organized and sparkly!

Castiel packed the last few things he owned into his duffel bag.  His third year of college was over. He had started this last semester out just as well as all the others but had barely passing grades now.  His finals had been a disaster. His final projects had been subpar. All his professors knew him better, encouraging him to rejuvenate over the summer and finish strong next year.  

Castiel thought that was an insurmountable request.  The death of his mother had come as a shock. Like ripples in a pond, the waves of shock and despair lapped over him repeatedly.  He had never had a father in the picture. Now, he was left an orphan. In a month, he would turn 21. He and his mother had joked about going on a bar crawl together.  What made it hysterically funny was that his mother never drank. But she had sworn she would. It was a silly plan. And now…there was no plan at all.

He glanced around the room.  The bed was bare, the walls blank, the desk empty, the closet open and vacant.  He tucked his wallet into his back pocket and slung the duffel bag onto his shoulder.  

He should have taken Anna and Gabe up on their offer for him to move in with them over the summer.  He could have shared an apartment with them. Slept on the couch. But at the time, he felt like he needed out of Cambridge, Massachusetts.  Now, he was not so sure.

He left the dorm, pulling the door shut, locking it.  There was nothing great about his dorm room. Or his roommate, who had left already.  Ishim was pushy. Opinionated. And Castiel felt relieved to be leaving. He would most likely see Ishim around campus next year, but not as a roommate.  He would be moving into an apartment with Gabe and Anna. Uriel would be moved out by then, and he could have his old room. That was the plan. The plan for mid-August.

With no energy and zero enthusiasm, he turned his dorm key in to the kid at the desk, signing out.  He walked slowly out of the dorm, into the bright, sunny day. It was the end of May. Anna had agreed to store most of his things while he was away.

A wave of nausea passed over him, a slight sweat chilling quickly on his skin in the breeze.  He was not going home. He was just going…away. Away was a strange house in a strange state. And where his mother had died.

He blew a fortifying breath out and headed for the bus stop.  He would take the bus to the airport and from there, fly to Kansas.

As he found a seat next to a seriously chipper girl (who was so FREAKING thankful her first year was over) he gave her the standard, polite smile but kept his earbuds in.  There was nothing playing in them. He often found music had unexpected effects on his mood, of late. It could make him angry, or worse, sad. He preferred the quiet numbness of nothing at all.  And people generally ignored you with earbuds in. Win, win.

He went through the motions of airport security, taking his bag and moving into the waiting room at his gate. He had gotten the ticket on his own, something his mother had always taken care of. He had not even called the number to the house she had lived in.  The plan had been for him to go there this summer, get to know the boyfriend she was planning on marrying, get to know his new ‘brothers’. That had been the plan.  So, here he was…carrying on with the plan.

He bought a coffee and sat down to wait.  He had said goodbye to his friends this morning, promising to keep in touch over the summer.  Anna would call him. Gabe…probably not unless he needed to be bailed out of jail.

He boarded the plane, letting the guy next to him sit by the window.  He had no curiosity to watch the patchwork of America below them. He was leaving nothing and going to nothing.  Who cared what it looked like.

Landing in Garden City Regional Airport was a silent affair for Castiel.  As he exited into the gate waiting room, he headed straight for a bathroom and puked.  His mother had understood him like no one else in the world. They were close. It had just been the two of them for years.  So long, in fact, he almost didn’t make it through his first semester. He had wanted to go back home, which at the time, was Illinois.  When he left for school in August last year, his mother called him two weeks later, saying she was moving to Lawrence, Kansas with the boyfriend Castiel had met a grand total of three times over the summer.  John. An enigma in his mind. John seemed like a nice enough guy. But not so much his mother’s type. 

His mother had dated.  Castiel had entertained their company as pleasantly as possible.  But he had not really liked any of them. John seemed rough around the edges.  And not a fan of Castiel’s ‘lifestyle’. He was not outright rude about it but tended to not say anything if it came up.  He recognized the disapproving looks, but nothing had been said.

And now it did not matter.  John would never be a part of his life.  He was dead too. They had died in a car accident on an icy night.  Castiel hated the cold. Hated snow, slush, ice, even snow days. It had been quite a deterrent for him when accepting his acceptance at Harvard because it was in Massachusetts.  But he figured he could deal with it for four years. Then, he was moving south. It was happening. It was one of his plans. And there was no one to stop him. 

He washed his shaky hands in the sink and put a piece of gum in his mouth.  Throwing up, unfortunately, was how his body most often dealt with anxiety. It wasn’t the plane trip.  It was the lack of what usually awaited him at the gate. No welcome. No Mom. 

He splashed some water on his face and dried it with a paper towel.  He looked at himself in the mirror. He was pale. And thin. Over the past few months he had gone down two holes on his belt, and he needed new pants.  

He left the bathroom, duffel bag on his shoulder, and headed out to a taxi to get to the bus station.  From there, he boarded a bus from Garden City to Lawrence.

He held his phone in his hand as he neared Lawrence.  He really should call the house. Tell someone he was coming.  But every time he thought about it, he just couldn’t. The thought of his mom not answering the phone always sent his stomach into eject-mode.  Besides, he was shy by nature, and in general not a people person. He preferred books. He used to prefer music. But not right now.

He got off the bus, feeling exhausted.  Here was the plan. Go to this house John owned.  Spend the night. Pack up his mother’s things, get a storage unit, and…. That was the extent of his summer plans.  He had nothing tying him down. And some money in the bank from the settlement. He should go see the world. Or not.  Even that sounded unenjoyable. 

He called for an Uber to get to the address he had from his mother’s will.  To say he was nervous was a total understatement. The car that picked him up took him much too quickly across town to the correct street.  And then the correct house. He paid the quiet driver, taking his bag and closing the car door. 

A pang of insecurity hit him hard as the little white car drove away.

He turned back to the house.  It was a two-story house with white siding and a black roof.  Three windows across the top, one large picture window, a door, and another window across the bottom.  There was no garage. A black car sat parked in front of it. Black metal numbers, 148, hung by the white front door.  The mailbox at the sidewalk read ‘Winchester’ in faded letters. It was the right house. It was a nice house. Small but neat.  The bushes were trimmed and the porch tidy. A large tree stood between it and the next house. It certainly was not picturesque, or ramshackle.  It was…average. Castiel found that comforting for some odd reason. It was average looking. So maybe the people inside were average. Average meant normal.  And normal meant safe.

He climbed the five steps of the front porch, taking a deep breath as he knocked on the door. 

“Just a minute!” Came a yell from inside.

Castiel stepped back, tugging nervously on his jacket sleeves.

The door opened.  “Can I help you?” A brown-haired kid Castiel’s height asked.

“H-hi, um,”

“I told you to do the dishes, Sam!” Another yell came from inside.

Sam turned with a glare.  “I will in a minute!” He turned back, brows raised in question as to why a stranger stood at his door.

“My name is Castiel.”  As long as he had agonized over coming here, he should have at least prepared what he was going to say when he arrived.  But, of course, he had not, choosing to ignore the situation until he was confronted with it.

“Wait,” Sam said with a look of dawning understanding.  “You’re Castiel! Naomi’s son.” He grinned. “What are you doing here?  I mean, come in!”

Castiel smiled back nervously, stepping inside.  Hardwood floors and white trim gave the house clean lines.  Stairs lead upward, and a hall led back to a kitchen. 

A guy came around the corner from the kitchen with an irritated look on his face.  “Who’s this? Who are you?”

Castiel began to answer but Sam turned to his brother excitedly.  “This is Castiel. Naomi’s son!”

Sam turned back to him.  “I’m Sam. This is my brother, Dean.”

Castiel nodded, finally putting faces with names.

Dean joined his brother, looking at Castiel as if he were an unwelcome problem.  “I’ve seen pictures,” he said quietly, “but we never met.”

Castiel swallowed nervously.  “I-I just got out of school and the plan had been to come here.  So…I came here.”

Dean raised an eyebrow.  “Okay?”

“Are you…staying here?” Sam asked, eyeing his bag curiously.

“Well, I thought I should collect my mother’s things and…I’m not sure.”

Dean looked less than enthusiastic at that.  “Dude…we don’t even know you.”

Castiel took a step back closer toward the door.

“Dude,” Sam scolded, whacking Dean on the shoulder, “he’s here to…” he turned back to Castiel.  “Of course, you can stay here.”

Dean out-right frowned at that.  “Dude, you don’t just invite people into our house.”

“He’s family,” Sam insisted.  “I mean, he was going to be.”

The brothers stared at him briefly, Castiel feeling a growing flush heat his cheeks.  

Dean rolled his eyes, shrugging.  “Whatever.”

“Come in,” Sam waved, heading toward the kitchen.  

Castiel followed hesitantly, walking past Dean.

The hardwood continued into the kitchen with dark brown cabinets on two walls.  A square table sat in the kitchen’s centre, cluttered with books, papers, mail, and cans.  The counter beside the sink was covered with dirty dishes.

“Can I get you a drink?” Sam asked, opening the fridge.    
Castiel swallowed.  “Just water is fine.  Thank you.”

Sam got a glass and ice.  As he filled the glass at the sink, Castiel’s curiosity drew him to the fridge.  There was a picture of John and his mother with Sam by a tree somewhere. They were all smiling.  It was strange to find his mother’s picture in a stranger’s house. Another picture showed Dean and Sam standing by a lake with fishing poles.  Another was a familiar picture of Castiel and his mother at a restaurant in Illinois. She looked just as happy with John and Sam as she did with him.  It was strange. All of it was strange.

He turned, realizing Sam was standing there with a glass of ice water.  “Thank you,” he said quickly, taking the glass. 

Dean was leaning against the other counter, watching him.

“Sorry about your mom,” Sam said with an apologetic grin.

Castiel nodded.  “And I’m sorry for the loss of your father.”

“You gonna go stay with your dad?” Dean asked.

“No,” Castiel looked back at his water.  “I don’t have a dad.”

“Oh.  Sorry.”

Castiel nodded awkwardly.

“So…you don’t have any parents either?” Sam asked, watching him curiously.

“Jesus, Sam,” Dean scolded.

“What?” Sam said defensively.  “I mean, it’s just kinda crazy.  None of us have parents anymore.”

Dean sighed with annoyance.  “Let it go, Sam.”

“You don’t have a mother?” Castiel asked.  He had wondered why Dean had come back to the house to take care of Sam.  That was what the lawyer had told him, anyway.

“She died when I was a baby,” Sam said, not feeling the sting that Castiel felt so strongly.  “But…I really liked your mom. She was really good to us. Both of us.”

Castiel smiled at that.  Yes, she would have been.  “I met your dad last summer.  He was…nice.”

Sam and Dean nodded.  He was sure they had wonderful relationships with him, unlike his own awkward one.

“Just what were you planning on taking?” Dean asked.

Castiel was reminded of John with Dean’s bluntness and rough exterior.  It rubbed him the wrong way and made him nervous, like he was intruding.

“I don’t know, really.  Just…her personal things, I guess.”

Dean nodded.  “I was gonna order a pizza.  Sound good?”

“Sure,” Castiel agreed.  He probably could not eat, but he could try.  “I have money,” he offered, pulling his wallet out and holding out a ten.

“Awesome.”  Dean crossed the kitchen, snagging the money and heading for a phone in the living room to call them.

Sam started doing the dishes, glancing at Castiel frequently.  “Are you 20?”

“Yes,” Castiel answered automatically, taking a drink of his water.

“I’m 16.  Dean is 20 too.  Not 22,” he grinned.  “He’s 20 also.”

Castiel grinned back shyly.  Sam was sweet. His mom had talked about him a good bit.  Dean had already been moved out of the house and she did not know him as well.  But she had liked him. She said he had good manners and was very nice to her. The thoughts made Castiel smile.

“I’m gonna go pick it up,” Dean called from the living room.  He then walked back into the kitchen, looking at Castiel again.  He seemed to measure him up somehow, judging and weighing with his eyes.  Whatever it was he saw, he seemed to deem Castiel acceptable of something.

He glanced at Sam.  “I’ll be back in twenty.”

“Alright,” Sam answered, rinsing a washed cup.

Dean left without another word.

Castiel pulled a chair out, putting three books that sat on it onto the table.  He sat, not sure what to look at or what to do. He sat his big duffel bag on the floor by his chair.

“Don’t mind Dean,” Sam said over the running water.  “He’s still pretty upset about Dad.”

Castiel nodded.  He could relate to that at least.

*********************************

They ate pizza in the living room while watching TV.  Castiel watched with some fascination as the cooks of the show were forced to use strange foods and expected to deliver something unique and spectacular.

“So, Castiel,” Sam piped up during a commercial, “what’s Harvard like?”

“Cold.”

Sam frowned.

Castiel wished he were better at small talk.  He just wasn’t. “I don’t like the cold winters,” he clarified, Sam nodding.  “The campus is beautiful. The dorm rooms are very small. And the course work is quite daunting.”

“I want to go to Stanford,” Sam grinned.  “I’m in the honors program and my counsellor said I have a really good chance to get in.”

“That’s fantastic,” Castiel nodded.  “I wish I had gone there. California would be much more to my liking.”

“Yeah, but Harvard!  I mean, come on! That’s pretty awesome!”

Castiel smiled.  He remembered when he thought so too.  Now it just did not fit him anymore. Nothing fit him.  He toyed with his half-eaten slice of pizza. It churned slightly in his stomach.  He glanced at Dean. He was spread out on the couch with his feet on the coffee table, on his fourth piece of pizza, and staring at the TV.

He wished he could feel so comfortable.  Anywhere. Even in his own skin.

“I just hope I can get a really good scholarship.  Otherwise…I don’t know what I’ll do,” Sam added, taking another big bite of pizza.

“You’ll be fine,” Dean said.  “If Stanford doesn’t snatch you up, somebody else will.”

Castiel watched as the show came back on.  His mother wanted this to be home. It was home for her.  She sat here and watched TV. Cleaned these floors. Used the phone.  But it all felt so foreign to Castiel. His eyes grew heavy as he fought to see which chef would win, but the need for sleep took over.

“Cas.”  

Castiel frowned.

“Cas.”  

He felt a pushing hand on his leg.

“What?” Castiel’s eyes flew open.  He was in the strange living room. The pizza had been cleared away and the TV was off.  It was dark outside. He straightened up in the chair, realizing his plate was gone.

“You were sleeping pretty hard,” Dean said.  “But I figured you’d wake up with a broken neck if I left you there all night.”

“Yes.  Thank you.”  He stood up, stretching.  He noticed blankets and sheets on the couch.

“Sam has school tomorrow and I have to go to work.  So…”

“Do you want me to leave?” Castiel asked, feeling out of place.

“No,” Dean grinned.  “No, man. Sorry about being stuck on the couch.  I guess we’ll have to figure out a room or something for you.”

Castiel swallowed hard.  “I don’t have to stay long.  The couch is fine.”

Dean stopped whatever he was doing in the kitchen, coming back into the living room.  He had a softer look on his face than earlier. “What are you doing when you’re done with your mom’s things?”

Castiel sighed.  “I don’t know.”

Dean sat down on the couch.  “You don’t still have a place in Illinois?”

Castiel grinned with an exasperated shake of his head.  “I…I don’t live anywhere.” It was kind of horrifying to admit out loud.

Dean leaned forward.  “I thought you had an apartment at Harvard.”

“No.  Just a dorm room.  I’m not allowed back to campus until mid-August.  The plan was to come home for the summer. And... home was supposed to be here.”  He gave Dean a worried look. “I can probably clear out her things tomorrow. Then I can figure out where to go.”

“Stay as long as you need, Cas.  You got kinda screwed out of everything, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” Castiel nodded.  “Yeah. It just all…my plans got changed.  I’m just kinda…lost.”

Dean nodded.  “Threw me for a loop too.  Had to get rid of my apartment and come live here, for Sam.”

They sat quietly for several minutes.

“Think you’ll be here the whole summer?” Dean asked.  There was no pressure to the question and no sense of discontent.  But Castiel felt like an outsider anyway.

“I-I just don’t really know.  Maybe?”

Dean nodded.  “Night, Cas.”

“Goodnight.”

He watched as Dean went up the stairs.

Castiel took his clothes off and pulled on a pair of pajama pants.  They were loose, but they would do. He got under the covers and burrowed into the soft couch.  He needed sleep. The blissful empty.

He dreamt of school, of work at the bookstore, of riding endless buses and never getting anywhere.  He slept fitfully throughout the night.  



	2. Helping the Hurting

Chapter 2: Helping the Hurting

 

Dean came down the steps, stopping in his tracks as he looked into the living room.  Castiel Novak was sleeping on his couch. He was surprised Sam had not recognized him instantly.  How could he forget who belonged to those sky-blue eyes? Dean had stopped to look at his picture a hundred times where it hung on the fridge.  He was gorgeous. 

But the guy he met at the door last night looked a bit different.  He had not immediately recognized him either. He knew a grand total of three things about him.  His name. That he went to Harvard. And that he was gay. 

His assumptions were that Castiel, with his fancy name and fancy education, would be a total snob.  A rich kid, spoiled, pretentious. That was not what walked through the door. Castiel was quiet, nervous, and reserved.  His clothes were worn and down to earth. Just a t-shirt and jeans. All his preconceptions were fizzling out. The truth was, Castiel Novak seemed just as lost and fucked up as he felt himself.  They had no parents. There was no one to tell them how to be adults. And so far, adulting was pretty fucking hard. It was good Sam was already 16 and pretty much had his shit together, because Dean felt like the world’s worst example to go by.

It was obvious that Cas had taken the death of his mother hard.  It was written all over him. The slouch in his shoulders, the haunted look in his eyes when he stared at a porcelain figure that Naomi had put on the shelf.  It had to be weird seeing her stuff here. Honestly, it was still weird for him to see her stuff here.

He went into the kitchen, starting a pot of coffee.  He had no idea how he was going to help Cas. But the guy needed something.  Direction. A home. It had shocked Dean to realize that Cas really was homeless. He always just thought of him as living at Harvard.  But that was only temporary. And now they had the whole summer. And maybe if Castiel wasn’t the pretentious snob he had envisioned him to be…maybe they could all lean on each other.  Or at least figure out how to run a house.

He heard a mumble from the living room and stepped into the doorway.  Cas reached a hand out, mumbling about being lost.

“Hey, man,” Dean said quietly, taking a few more steps into the living room.

“Help!” Cas jerked.  “It’s falling! I’m gonna fall!”

Dean took his outstretched hand and rubbed his arm.  “Hey, Cas, wake up, man. You’re having a bad dream.”

Cas moaned, gripping Dean’s hand tight.

“Cas!”  Dean sat on the coffee table and put his hand on the flat of Castiel’s chest, rubbing quickly.  “Wake up, buddy. Wake up.”

Castiel’s eyes opened, his mouth agape.  He jerked slightly, blinking and looking around.

“I’m…” he looked so confused.

“Hey,” Dean grinned.  “You were having a bad dream.  You alright?”

Castiel took a deep breath, his head dropping back into the pillow.  “Yes. Sorry, I…”. He blinked again, still shaking whatever torment he had been in from his mind.  “I’m okay.”

Dean let go of his hand, feeling awkward suddenly for holding it.  “Did you sleep okay? Besides the bad dream?”

Castiel looked up at him with wonder.  He was probably still orienting himself.

“Yes.  Thank you.”

Dean grinned.  Cas’ hair was sticking up adorably and his flushed cheeks and warm skin made him want to cuddle him.

Well, that was stupid.  And presumptuous. He probably had some rich, extremely intelligent boyfriend back in Massachusetts.  Dean cleared his throat, getting back to his feet. “Coffee’s about ready, if you want any. I’m headed to work,” he said brusquely.  

He busied himself in the kitchen making lunch for himself.

Sam came thundering down the steps, backpack on one shoulder and making a mad dash for an orange.  Dean looked at his watch. “Sam, I swear to God if you miss that bus again, you’re walking.”

“I’m good!  See ya!” His steps hesitated in the living room as he suddenly remembered they had a guest.  “Oh, shit. Sorry for being so loud, Cas. See ya after school!”

Dean heard the front door shut as he also heard the unmistakable sound of the bus’s brakes.  The lucky shit made it.

He closed his lunch bag and took his travel mug of coffee.  As he crossed the living room on his way out, he tipped his chin as a goodbye.  Castiel smiled shyly, already sitting up. 

Dean stopped at the front door, picking up his keys.  “You’re gonna be here when I get home, right?”

“Yes,” Cas answered unsurely.

“You’re not gonna rob us blind and ditch town, are ya?”  Dean smirked.

Cas got a horrified look on his face.  “I would never steal from you!”

“Dude,” Dean laughed.  “I was kidding. See ya tonight.”  Mental note: work on Cas’ sense of humor.  He needed to chill out.

He left, locking the door and getting into his car.  It was his now. It came as a bonus along with Sam, a mortgage, and utility bills, but hey, Baby was his.

**************************

Castiel blinked at the silence of the closed front door.  No wonder Dean had given him such a studying glance last night.  Dean was concerned he would steal. And why wouldn’t he be? He was a stranger here.

He looked around the still living room.  It was quiet. And that’s what he liked. Right?  An empty house. He liked being alone. Right? So why did everything feel so…heavy?

He rubbed his hands over his face, sitting back into the soft couch.  He had slept much better than he had thought he would. He looked at his pillow, wondering if he should just curl back up and go to sleep.  The smell of coffee tugged him to his feet and he made his way into the kitchen.

Dean had left lunch meat out on the counter.  He put it away, seeing there was creamer in the fridge.  Things were looking up. He opened a cabinet. Cereal and boxed food.  He opened another. Mugs and glasses. He took a black mug from the shelf and saw one of his mother’s favorite mugs sitting there.  It had an angel wing on it with the words ‘watch over me’. He had bought it for her for Christmas his first year in college. She always called him her angel.  He had thought it sweet and funny at the time.

“Hi, Mom,” he sighed.  He took the mug out, putting the black one back.  He made a cup of coffee and wondered what he should do next.  

He went to the bookshelves in the living room, studying the pictures, the knick-knacks, and the books.  His mother’s taste in books was certainly not his. She preferred bios and true heart-warming stories. Castiel preferred classics and science fiction.  He considered the real world fairly boring and overrated. He preferred to spend his off time far away in a world of uncertain dangers and adventurous thrills.  There were books there that certainly were not hers. War, true crime, cars, and guns. 

He wandered into the den.  There was a desk with bills and papers, a sewing machine, and a gun case.  Castiel eyed the guns with some curiosity. He had never had occasion to handle one.  Back in the hallway, he peeked into the closet and a door that led down to a basement.  He had already used the half bathroom down here. He found himself standing at the foot of the stairs in the entryway.  He looked up, nervously glancing over his shoulder at the front door. He didn’t exactly have permission to go up there, but he was curious.

He climbed the stairs, sipping his coffee and looking at the photos of Sam, Dean, and John.  One had a woman in it he did not know. She held a baby with a young-looking John and a little boy.  He supposed the woman might be Sam and Dean’s mother.

At the top of the steps was a short hallway.  He went to the first open door. It was a bedroom.  It was a mess of clothes and books and video games. The next room was another bedroom.  This room was neater. No clothes were strewn around, and the bed was made, for the most part.  There was a stack of boxes in one corner. This was probably Dean’s room. He turned, looking into a bathroom.  The last door was closed. Castiel glanced toward the steps. He opened the door slowly, peeking in. It had black wallpaper with maroon flowers.  A queen size bed with nightstands, and two dressers.

This was his mother’s room.  And John’s. He stepped inside, sitting on the bed.  His mother’s nightstand had a book with a bookmark halfway through it.  She had been reading ‘Merle’s Door’. The familiar tug of sorrow caught in his throat.  She had not gotten to finish it. He stood, opening the closet.

He sucked in an unsteady breath at the sight of her clothes.  He missed her. He closed the closet and stepped out of the room, closing the door gently.  Nothing had been touched in there. The thought of putting her things in a box no longer appealed to him.  He went downstairs and turned on the TV.

The day passed in a slow parade of old movies, daytime talk shows, and reruns of TV shows.

He was startled when he heard a key in the door at 3:20. He turned the TV off as Sam walked in.

“Hey, Cas!  How are you?”

“Good,” Castiel answered automatically.

Sam shut the door and went up the steps.  Nervous and unsure what to do with himself, he went into the kitchen to wash his mug.

Sam came in with two books in his hand.  He went to the fridge and pulled out some leftovers, making a snack.

“What’d you do today?” Sam asked.

“I..uh, nothing, really.”

Sam grinned.  “I had a statistics final.  It was killer. And then an AP English Lit final.  It wasn’t bad.”

Castiel nodded.

Sam talked about the exams and a friend that was sure he had failed it.  Sam was easy to talk to.

“I gotta go cram for my AP Chem final tomorrow.  Dean won’t be home ‘til like six.”

Castiel nodded.

“Dean’s home now,” Dean called from the front door.  “Quit talkin’ about me, ya hoodlum.”

Sam rolled his eyes with a grin.  “Why are you home early?”

Dean, walking into the kitchen, glanced at Castiel.  “Because Cas is here. Figured I better get home and figure out some better sleeping arrangements for tonight.”

Castiel swallowed.  There was no guest room.  There was one empty room. His mother’s.  His stomach swirled acidly at the thought of sleeping in there.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean greeted, putting his lunch bag on the counter.  “How was your day?”

“Uh…quiet.”

Dean grinned.  “I bet.”

Sam looked at Dean.  “Well, what were you thinking?”  He sat his plate on the counter, looking concerned.  “Are you gonna move into Dad’s room?”

Dean leaned against the counter.  “I was thinking we could clean it out.  Cas can have it.”

“I…no!” Castiel blanched at the thought.  

Dean shrugged.  “I’m fine with my old room.”

Sam looked down sadly.  “Dean, you should take that room.  You know Dad wouldn’t care.”

They all stood quietly.

“There’s three of us and there’s three rooms.  Somebody has to take it,” Dean sighed.

Sam nodded in agreement.  He looked at Castiel. “You should take it, Cas.”

“But I’m not…I don’t even know how long I’ll be here!  I can just use the couch, really.”

Dean licked his bottom lip, biting it as he watched him.  He nodded. “Cas, your mom didn’t die in there.”

Castiel backed out of the kitchen, shaking his head.  “I-I can’t.”

Sam and Dean followed him into the living room.  All of them sat down, Castiel because he thought he might pass out otherwise.

Castiel knew John died in the hospital.  His mother had died in the car. He knew that.  

“I know,” he said shakily.  “I just…really don’t want to.  I…” What? Could get his own place?  Could sleep on the couch for two and a half months?  He was sweating and swallowing hard, so he didn’t throw up.

“Cas?” Dean said, glancing at Sam.  He looked concerned. “Screw it. We’ll figure it out this weekend.  ‘Til then, couch works?”

“Yes,” Castiel agreed, nodding.  He knew he was being irrational. It was just a room.  But…he just couldn’t do it.

“I gotta go grocery shopping,” Dean said, changing the subject.  “We don’t have much here. Did you find enough today to get by?”

Castiel looked up.  Oh, Dean was talking to him.  “Yes, yes, it was fine.”

Dean narrowed his eyes.  “Did you eat today?”

“Yes.”  Castiel furrowed his brow.  What had he eaten? “Um…I think I forgot.  To eat.”

Sam and Dean exchanged a look.  “We’re going to the Roadhouse for dinner.  Then grocery shopping. Come on, Cas.”

Sam hesitated.  “I gotta study. Can you bring me something?”

“Chemistry final tomorrow?” Dean asked.

“Yeah.”

Dean nodded.  “Sure. Let’s go, Cas.”

Castiel got to his feet.  Great. They must think he was a complete imbecile.  He couldn’t even take care of himself.

************************************

Dean took another bite of his burger.  He grinned as Cas finally started to eat.  He had given the plate a lack-luster look. But after the first bite, something sparked.  He studied the burger with some curiosity. Dean had thought for a moment he was going to complain about it, which may have ended in him sleeping on the curb tonight.  But he looked up at Dean with some surprise.

“This is…very good,” he had said.

Now, four bites in, he was looking more relaxed and even slightly comfortable.

“This is me and Sam’s favorite place to eat.  And Ellen, the owner, always gives us a discount.”

“Why is this so good?” Cas marvelled.

Dean wiped grease from his chin.  “I dunno, maybe because you haven’t eaten in days?”

Cas looked up at him, slowing his chewing.  “I eat. It’s just been…not so much lately.”

Dean could figure why.  Naomi’s brother had shown up after the accident.  Zachariah. He was quite the dick. He had insisted Naomi’s body be flown back to where their family lived in Indiana.  Cas had dealt with all of it on his own. Dean at least had Sam. And Bobby. And Ellen and Jo.

“Are you close to any of your other family?” Dean asked.

“No.”

“Are they all like your Uncle Zachariah?”

Castiel gave him a surprised look, swallowing.  “You met him? He’s such an ass.”

Dean chuckled.  “Yeah. I pretty much told him so.”

Castiel raised an eyebrow, studying Dean a bit more carefully.  “You told Zachariah he’s an ass?”

Dean swallowed his sip of soda.  “Um…no. I believe I told him he was a bag of dicks.”

“A what?” Castiel laughed.

It was a rich, deep sound that made everything else in the bustling room disappear.  “A bag of dicks. You know, like, worse than just A dick.” He grinned, watching Cas laugh again.

“I bet he got all red and started yelling!”

“He did.  Said I was a punk.”

Cas grinned, looking down at his burger again.  “Well, you were right. He is a dick. A bag of dicks.  You know he lectured me about how much better Yale was than Harvard.  At my mother’s viewing.”

“What a fuckin’ douche.  I don’t know how him and Naomi were even related.  But no wonder she handled my dad so easily. If she grew up with Zachariah grade assholes, she was at least equipped to deal with my dad.”

Castiel looked at him curiously.  “You and your dad weren’t close?”

Dean had not meant for the conversation to go here, but here it was.  “My dad and I butted heads a lot. He was a marine. Very strict. Yes, sir, no, sir, bullshit.  But…he was a good dad. Sometimes.”

Cas took another big bite of his burger.  “Mom wasn’t close to her family. She was pretty independent.  I don’t plan on associating with them either.”

Dean nodded.  “You…uh…got a boyfriend back at Harvard?”  He was a little surprised at the shocked look on Cas’ face.

“No.”  He chewed a bite slowly, swallowing it.  “Did Mom tell you that?”

“That you had a boyfriend?” Dean clarified.  “No. But we weren’t that close.”

“That I’m gay,” Cas said stiffly.

“Oh.  No. Dad did.  I mean, it’s how they met.”

Cas looked more than confused, his head tilted to the side and eyes wide.  “What do you mean? They met through a dating app.”

Dean frowned.  Huh. Maybe Cas and Naomi weren’t as close as he thought they were.  But now he was too deep to backpedal out. He sat his burger down and wiped off his hands.  “Your dad and my mom met on a site for parents of LGBQT kids. A support group type of place.”

Castiel looked at him blankly.  “What?”

Shit.  Dean picked up a fry, tapping it on his plate nervously.  “Your mom and my dad met in a chat room for a parent support group…you didn’t know this?”

Castiel looked puzzled.  “My mom said she met your dad on a dating site.  Why would she lie?”

“I don’t know,” Dean shrugged.  “Guess she didn’t want you to know she had struggled with…”

Castiel looked down at his plate in confusion.  “But…she said she didn’t care. She was pretty supportive.”

“I don’t know, man.  Ask Sam. He might know more about it than me.  I wasn’t really around.”

“So,” Cas asked, picking his burger up slowly, “Sam is gay?”

Dean smirked.  “No.”

“Oh.”  Castiel nodded, blushing.

Dean crammed a few fries in his mouth.  He and Cas were the same age. They would have been in the same school.  He tried to picture them in high school together. His immediate thought was there was no way they would run in the same group of friends.  But something told him, had he seen those eyes across a study hall, a cafeteria, a hallway, he would have found a way to meet him.

“So…I guess our parents were struggling with our lifestyle?” Cas asked.

“Mine was.  I don’t know what your mom said to my dad…but he came to my apartment two years ago and…apologized.  It’s not like he had been horrible. He just…made me feel uncomfortable.”

“You’ve been on your own for three years?” Cas asked.

“Almost.  The minute I turned 18 I was gone.”  He laughed bitterly. “Thought I knew everything.”

“Your dad was…a stern man.”

Dean laughed.  “Yeah. Yeah, he was.  Never quite put it like that, but yeah.”

“Was he a good dad?” Cas asked.

Dean smiled sadly.  “Lately, yes. And he loved your mom.  A lot. She was the only woman he’s ever brought home.”

Castiel grinned at that.  “So, are we really going grocery shopping?”

“Oh yeah.  Duty calls.  We need grub.”

They finished their meals and went to the store.  He had a hard time getting preferences out of Cas.  And Dean was quite sure Cas was the most literal person he had ever met.  The biggest kicker happened in aisle 12.

“Knock, knock,” Dean had said, out of the blue.

“What?” Cas asked, looking lost.

“Knock, knock,” Dean grinned, giving him an expectant look.

Castiel stopped, staring at him.  “Who’s there?”

Dean pointed at a box of Bisquick.  “Bisquick, your pants are on fire!”

Castiel looked down at his pants.  Then back at Dean. “I’m not on fire.  And why would I pee on myself?”

Dean froze for a second and then laughed so hard he thought he just might pee his own pants.  He found Cas’ lack of humor a fucking riot.

***********************************

They carried bags into the house and put the groceries away.  Sam came down for the dinner Dean had picked up for him. 

As they sat down to watch TV, Castiel realized with some surprise that he had been more relaxed tonight than he had felt in a long time.  Dean teased a lot. But he made him feel…normal. And that was something he had not felt for a long time. He slept a little better that night.  When he woke up the next morning to Dean and Sam bustling around the house, he grinned. He kinda liked it here.

They left for school and work and Castiel decided he should busy himself today.  He dusted, he straightened up, he cleaned the bathrooms. He located the mower and mowed the lawn.  He ate lunch. He threw away one dead plant, watered two others that were salvageable, and filled a bird feeder and bird bath in the backyard. 

When Sam got home, Castiel was sitting on the living room floor, answering email from some friends.

“Hey, Cas!”

“Hello, Sam.  How was your chemistry test?”

“A fucking bear!  Dude, I studied my ass off and it was still hard.”  He collapsed onto the sofa. “One more tomorrow and then smooooth sailing until summer.”

Castiel closed his laptop.  “We’re having spaghetti for dinner.”

“We are?”  Sam sat up.  “Is Dean cooking?”

“No.  I can make it.  Unless your preferred Dean to do it.”

“No, no.  I’m sure it’ll be great.  Food’s food. Man, I’m hungry.”

Castiel shook his head with a grin.  Sam was perpetually hungry.

***********************

Dean walked in that night to the delicious smell of dinner.  It startled him at first. He thought maybe he had forgotten Ellen was coming over or something.  But no, it was Cas.

He walked into the kitchen to find Cas pulling garlic bread out of the oven.

“My God, that smells good.”

Cas turned quickly, losing one slice to the floor.  “Oops,” he said, sitting the pan on the stove.

Dean picked it up, noticing how clean the floor was.  “Did you mop?”

“I did,” Cas nodded.

“And you mowed the yard?”

Cas turned to him with a grin.  “I did.”

“Damn, Cas, keep this up and I’m gonna ask you to marry me.”

Cas chuckled, scooping the slices of bread onto a plate.  “Dinner is ready when you are.”

Dean was hit with a wave of awe.  For the first time in a long time, he did not feel alone.  Not every single issue had to be handled by him. The grass was cut.  The house was clean. Dinner was ready. He hadn’t even asked or had to make a list.  

Castiel sat the plate on the table and did a double take at him.  “What?”

“Nothin’.  I’m starved.  I’ll change and be right down.”

Castiel grinned.  “Okay.”

They stood there a moment, locked in a stare.

“Dean,” Cas said quietly, making shivers run down his spine, “are you alright?”

“Yeah.  I’m goin’.  I’m-” he cut himself off, heading for the stairs.  That was the first time Cas had ever said his name.  It gave him chills. Was he so lonely that any random stranger would have such an effect on him?  

“Oh, calm down,” he said harshly to the half chub in his pants.  “It’s fucking spaghetti. A ten-year-old could make it.”

He had a ratty pair of jeans and an old t-shirt on.  No socks or shoes. He thumped on Sam’s door. “Dinner’s ready, dweeb.”

The door opened instantly.  “Smells good! Dean, did you see that Cas mowed?”

“Yeah.”

“And cleaned the bathroom and kitchen?”

“Uh, yeah,” he said, glancing at the clean tub in the bathroom.

“He’s freaking awesome!  Can he stay with us until he has to go back to school?”

Dean frowned.  “He’s not a lost puppy, Sam.  He can do what he wants.”

Sam rolled his eyes.  “I know, smart-ass. But…can you tell him?”

“I think I made it pretty clear when I offered him a room.  He didn’t want it.”

“You offered him his mom’s old room.  He doesn’t want it for the same reason you don’t.”

“Whatever!  Let’s go eat!” Dean snapped.  Sam huffed, heading for the steps, Dean behind him.

They went down the steps and into the kitchen.  Cas had the table set. “Where did all the mail go?” Dean asked.

“I piled everything on the counter.  I didn’t want to misplace anything too far,” Cas answered.  He sat a salad on the table.

“Dude!” Sam laughed, “There’s salad!  In this house! Dad would so be making fun of us!”  His smile died a bit.

“Oh, trust me, Sam.  He’s laughin’,” Dean said, wrinkling his nose at the big bowl.

“You don’t eat salad?” Cas asked, looking concerned.

“It’s just an old joke,” Sam laughed.  “I used to ask for salad and the rabbit jokes never ended.”

Dean rolled his eyes, putting a large helping of pasta on his plate.  “Oh, quit being dramatic, Samantha.”

“Whatever, I probably have vitamin deficiencies because of the diet in this house.”  He was joking, but it bothered Dean a bit. He really did need to do better.

He ladled sauce on top, stirring and twisting the long noodles around his fork.  The explosion of flavors filled his mouth. “Mmmm. Cas. That is so good.” He licked sauce from his lip and looked up.  Sam had a fork full of salad halfway to his mouth with a shitty grin. Cas’ eyes were so wide and blue that Dean had to swallow before he choked.  Cas grinned. Just one tick of one corner of his mouth. Oh, fuck. 

Sam cleared his throat, shoving the salad in his mouth.  

Dean glanced away.  Heat flushing his face.  “I’m used to Ellen’s cooking.  She doesn’t make spaghetti too often,” he mumbled, shoving another bite in to shut himself up.

“I’m glad you like it,” Cas said quietly, poking through his salad.

“I’m going to Ash’s house after school tomorrow,” Sam said as the table went quiet.

Dean gave his brother a look.  He had already had it out with Sam once about telling him what he was doing, rather than asking.  

“If it’s okay with you,” Sam added.

It was still an uncomfortable dynamic.  But they needed it. Sam was still a kid.

“Why are you hanging out with Ash so much?  He’s a pothead.”

“I’m not smoking pot, Dean.  We’ve been playing an online game.”

Dean wondered just what parts of that story were true.  Could be all of it. But he knew Ash too. “Fine. But I want you home by noon on Saturday.  We’re gonna box up Dad’s room.”

Sam and Cas both paused in their eating, looking at him with surprise.  Both tried to recover quickly. 

“Yeah,” Sam nodded.  “That’s a good idea.”

Castiel said nothing, looking down, still poking the salad.  

“Cas, it’s not you.  It needs to be done. It’s just morbid.  It’ll be good for all of us.”

Cas looked up at him sadly, nodding.

Dean had seconds.  Sam had three helpings.  Cas barely had one. Dean didn’t like it.  The rare smiles and moments when he lost the heavy-weight that kept him slouching, were too few and too fleeting.  He needed something besides the pornographic Lady and the Tramp scenario he was thinking of. 

Somehow Cas had gotten under his skin.  Like, extremely quickly. His smile, his voice, so low and ragged at times, his brilliantly blue eyes under that mop of messy hair.  His long fingers, thick sturdy wrists and forearms. The way his waistband sat loosely on his hips. Yeah, he was crushing hard. Problem was, he was living here.  That could really screw things up if it went south. Worst of all though, was his mindset. Cas was obviously struggling with his mom’s death. 

He found it difficult to not hug him, comfort him in some way.  But it just wouldn’t be right. Dean was pretty sure if he hugged him, he’d do more than that.  And that’s not what he or Cas needed right now.

Dean put the leftovers in containers and told Sam to do the dishes.  He sorted through the pile of mail on the counter. He and Sam sorted through the rest.  It was odd how refreshing it was just to have a clean kitchen table to eat at. 

With his life a little more organized and some of the burden from the house lifted, Dean felt remarkably lighter.

“Hey, Cas, wanna go out for dinner tomorrow night?  Sam won’t be here and…” he shrugged.

He got no answer from the living room.  He went in, seeing the room was empty. “Cas?” He called.

When he got no answer and found the whole downstairs empty, he opened the front door to look outside.  Cas stood on the steps, head tipped back to see the sky.

It was a warm night.  It was one of those moments where he thought about comforting Cas.  But he shut the door, leaving him to his own thoughts. In fact, he dodged any more interaction, heading for his room to get on his laptop.


	3. Assumptions and Observations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas get to know each other a little more. And Cas gets to meet Charlie. Charlie is oh-so helpful.

Friday evening came after a long hard day at Bobby’s garage. He trudged up the steps, unlocking the door. He went in to the smell of delicious meat. He headed straight for the kitchen. It was empty. He went to rinse his mug out from work and saw a note taped on the faucet.

Dean,  
I figured you might have plans for this evening, so I went to the library. Dinner is in the refrigerator if you want some.  
Castiel

Disappointment zapped the last bit of energy he had. He had figured they would spend the evening together. Oh well. 

He opened the fridge to find a covered plate with ham, mashed potatoes, and green beans. Damn. Regular healthy meals daily.

He put the plate in the microwave and headed upstairs to change. Old ripped jeans and a t-shirt later, he took the plate out and sat at the clean table to eat.

They had not eaten meals together that often with their dad. But Sam said Naomi had changed that. The three of them had dinner together four to five days a week. Sam had said their dad had really come around and turned into quite a decent guy. He was happy Sam’s last two years were good with their dad. Of course, it just made it all the more bitter that he was gone now.

He finished his meal, washing his few dishes. As he stacked the dishes, he noticed the angel mug sitting in the drying rack. It had been there every day since Cas had first slept here. He knew it was Naomi’s. It made him frown with worry for Cas.

The library was all the way across town. He had taken Sam there enough to know where it was, at least. He wondered how Cas had even gotten there. That was the first time he realized he did not even have Cas’ cell phone number.

He felt antsy wondering how he was getting home. Had he made a friend in town? He grabbed his keys and headed there. At least he could get his number.

 

************************

 

Castiel sat at a table in the familiar smell and sound of a library. He had a new membership card and he loved the old building. He never had time to read for fun during school, so he had looked through the new releases, seeing what he had missed over the past year. 

He also had a newspaper and pen, circling some jobs he could apply for. He needed something close to the house so he wouldn’t pester Dean for rides.

The chair across from him slid out and someone sat down. Feeling suddenly crowded, he lowered the paper and was shocked to see Dean sitting there.

“Dean!”

“Cas!” Dean grinned.

“What are you doing here?”

“Why? You meeting a date here or something?” Dean glanced around.

“No. I just…thought you would be busy on a Friday night.”

“Oh yeah. My agenda is totally booked.” He smirked, indicating he was being sarcastic. His smile faded as he leaned forward. “How did you get here?”

“I walked,” Cas said, seeing a surprised look cross Dean’s face.

“Dude, it’s like five miles to here!”

Cas’ feet could attribute to that fact. “Yes.”

Dean sighed. “I could have brought you. I don’t have anything going on. Well, plans with Charlie later, but still, dude, just ask for a ride next time. Anyway, I don’t have your cell number. Would you give it to me?”

“Yes, of course,” Castiel pulled his phone out, Dean pulling his out. They exchanged numbers and Dean looked a bit more settled.

“What are you here for?” Dean asked, glancing around.

“Looking for a job. And…reading.”

Dean nodded. “Any good jobs?”

“Not really. I might apply to this convenience store, Gas-n-Sip. There’s an opening at the movie theater. Where is…Preston Street?”

“Too far to be walking to. And…you don’t have to rush into getting a job. We’re doing okay. A little help with grocery money is all I really need.”

Castiel was surprised by that. He had expected to pay rent and some of the utilities as well. “Dean, I want to contribute.”

“You can. But…”. Dean looked down at his hands. “I really like that you’re around for Sam. Maybe just something part time?”

Castiel grinned. “You really liked my spaghetti so much you want me to stay at the house and cook for you?”

Dean chuckled. “Yeah. And you get Sam. It’s important that he isn’t home alone all the time. Ya know?”

Castiel nodded. But this was way more inclusive than he had thought it would ever be. 

“How much longer do you want to be here?” Dean asked.

“Um…I can do this back at the house, if you want. But I can walk back to the house as well.”

Dean smiled. “Let’s go home. My friend Charlie is coming over to play video games with me. You can hang out with us.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to interfere.”

Dean slid his chair back. “Come on, let’s go before I get a ticket for not paying the meter where I parked.”

Castiel quickly gathered his things. “I appreciate the ride, Dean. But you don’t have to take me back.”

“Dean Winchester at the library on a Friday night?”

Castiel looked up to see a pretty brunette standing there. She was smiling and twisting a lock of hair around her finger.

“Oh, hi, Lisa.” Dean cleared his throat and gave Castiel a nervous grin. “Just…picking up my friend. Brother. Whatever. How’ve you been?”

“Lonely since you haven’t been around.” She gave Castiel a friendly grin, but her eyes were back on Dean a second later.

“Yeah,” Dean grinned. “Had..family stuff goin’ on. You know.”

“Well,” she twisted her hips, speaking more to Dean, “you know you can call me. Right?”

Dean blushed slightly. “Thanks. Been pretty busy though.”

“Sam can sleep over at a friend’s, ya know.” She winked at him and sauntered away.

Castiel looked back at Dean. “She a…friend of yours?”

“I wouldn’t categorize her in the friend department. No. But she is smokin’ hot and…” Dean shrugged. “She’s…”

Castiel nodded. He could fill in the blanks on that one. So, Dean was bi. Couldn’t blame her for being interested. Dean was very…handsome. And when he put his eyes solely on you, it was rather powerful. His bad boy image had to be taking a beating from needing to parent Sam and now carting him around.

Castiel stood up. “We can go.”

Dean frowned, standing up. “We hooked up before. But it was like, last year or something. It was just…ya know.”

Castiel nodded, heading for the door. He didn’t want to think about Dean with Lisa. It made him feel grouchy and he had no good reason for it at all.

He got in the car with his armload of books. Dean swung into his seat, starting the car. “Cas,” he said loudly over the music blaring from his tape deck, “I’m glad you’re here. In fact, I kinda like having you here more than I thought I would. I need the help.”

Castiel blinked at him. 

Dean turned the music down. “I could really use the help with Sam. So…please stop feeling like you’re a problem here.”

The way he said it was slightly rough, but when he glanced over at him, there was sincerity in those green eyes.

Castiel felt something inside him relax. Not everything, but a layer of doubt and worry released one level of the grip he constantly had strangling him inside. “Thank you, Dean. I just don’t want to be here if…I mean, we barely know each other and I just showed up.”

Dean grinned at that. “Yeah, well, you might be exactly what Sam and I needed.”

“And I need a job. I’m going to need money in the fall when I go back to school. It’s hard to work much during the year. The class work is pretty consuming.”

“Right,” Dean nodded, looking slightly disappointed. 

“But I will gladly help with the house, the bills, and Sam.”

“Just Sam. And some of the house work. We gotta team up on this. I mean, if you stay. Which, I think you should stay. To help. I could use some help.” Dean frowned, staring hard at the road ahead.

Castiel nodded. He had never been a part of anything remotely like this. It should seem more daunting, but it actually felt really good.

Dean sighed heavily, stopping at a red light. “I’m gonna take the master bedroom.”

Castiel nodded. “The wallpaper suits you.”

Dean turned a startled look at Cas. “Was that a joke? You do joke!” He laughed, shaking his head. “Ass.”

Castiel grinned.

Dean looked at him again. “That wallpaper is nauseating. We gotta scrape it off.”

Castiel nodded. “It really is.”

 

They pulled up to the house and headed in. “You already ate?” Dean asked.

“I ate with Sam before he left.”

“Yeah,” Dean said, leveling him with a look. “But did you actually eat?”

Castiel swallowed. “Some.”

Dean frowned. “I’m gonna fix you a plate. I want you to eat.”

“No, I’m fine,” Castiel assured. “I ate.”

Dean unlocked the front door. He stopped at the table by the door and pulled a key out of a small drawer. “Here. This is for you.”

Castiel took the small silver key. “Thanks.”

He looked up, seeing Dean watching him. He went to the kitchen and Castiel headed into the living room.

“Hey, bitches!” Someone yelled from the front door that burst open.

“Hey, Charlie!” Dean called.

Castiel watched with curiosity as a thin red-head came into the living room. “Oh. Hi! I’m Charlie.” She dropped a small duffel bag on the floor.

“Hello,” Castiel stood up. “I’m Castiel.” He shook her hand as she studied him just as curiously. 

“Are you the brother?”

Castiel’s initial answer was no, but that was correct. Dean and Sam were his step brothers (or, were going to be). “Yes, step brother.”

“Right,” Charlie grinned. “You’re so…handsome!”

Castiel grinned. “Um. Thank you.”

“Dean,” she yelled, heading into the kitchen, “you said he was cute, but, damn!”

“Charlie,” Dean groaned.

Castiel blushed hard. Dean had talked about him? He had described him as cute? A slew of thoughts came crashing into his mind. Oh…the possibilities. But surely he was just being…kind? He grinned. Cute.

“So, I was thinking we could do a movie,” Charlie was saying as she and Dean came back into the living room. 

“Cool,” Dean nodded. “Something light, alright?”

Castiel wondered if Charlie was the same kind of friend as Lisa. She was definitely comfortable with him. She had kissed his cheek in the kitchen and stayed right in his personal space to talk quietly about something. But she was not flirty. Just…very comfortable. She reminded him of Anna.

“Charlie, Cas; Cas, Charlie,” Dean introduced. “Charlie and I were friends in high school. I can’t seem to shake her.”

Charlie scoffed. “Yeah, right. You would be lost without me.”

“True,” Dean sighed, sitting next to Castiel on the couch and sitting a small plate of food on his lap.

Castiel took the plate with a frown. “I said-“

“You need to eat,” Dean said pointedly, leaning closer, taking a green bean off his plate and popping it in his own mouth. “I said so. And I’m older.”

“I’ll be 21 next month,” Castiel said. “When is your birthday?”

“January. Fine. You’re older. Doesn’t matter. Eat up.”

Cas picked up the fork, pushing the potatoes around.

Dean watched him perceptively. “Don’t make me feed you. It won’t be pretty.” He grinned and Castiel could only grin back. 

He ate a bite of potatoes, Dean looking at the TV. “Not Disney, Charlie.”

“Okay, okay,” she sighed. “I’m feelin’ ‘Little Mermaid’ though!”

“I haven’t seen the new ‘Beauty and the Beast’,” Castiel said, surprising even himself.

“What!” Charlie balked, sitting forward to look at him around Dean. “Emma Watson? Gay men would go straight for her!”

Castiel raised both brows. “I doubt that.”

“Oh! The challenge has been set! You tell me she doesn’t perk your panties by the time this is over and I’ll kiss a frog!”

Dean laughed.

Castiel had to grin at that. “Alright, but you might be sorry about that bet.”

She clicked through several menus on Dean’s TV like it was her own and started the movie.

Dean reached onto his plate, taking a green bean and dipping it in his potatoes. He glanced at Castiel. A silent command to eat more.

Castiel stabbed a piece of ham and took a bite. He wanted to eat. He really did. It just seemed like everything turned to ash in his mouth. He swallowed the bite of ham and picked up a green bean, eating it. By the time Belle had sung the first song, he and Dean had finished his green beans.

They tasted delicious. The fact that Dean was eating off his own plate was enticing. It brought a thrill that made his chest feel two sizes too big at the chance of bumping hands. His thigh was already pressed snugly against his own. Charlie was losing this bet hands down.

He nibbled on the ham, offering Dean a bite when he looked at the plate. Dean shook his head, leaning closer. “You eat it.”

Castiel had a crazy notion to refuse. To see what exactly Dean was willing to do to him. But he tucked the bite in his own mouth with a grin. It was sweet and warm and why did everything taste better here?

By the time Belle put the yellow dress on, his plate was empty and sitting on the coffee table. He choked up as she came onto the steps, seeing the beast. He sighed. It was beautiful. 

Dean was slouched down and leaning onto his shoulder. Castiel was pretty sure he was sleeping. It was mesmerizing to feel his steady warmth along the side of his body.

He wanted to move the arm Dean was blocking, but he dared not move it. Dean might move over to Charlie and that would be devastating.

He watched as the beast was losing the fight and Mrs. Potts yelled about her boy. He heard a sniffle from Charlie.

“Is he going to die? Are they-” Castiel was shocked, but this was Disney, and they had shocked him before.

“No,” Dean said gently. His hand moved over to settle on Cas’ thigh. Castiel moved his arm finally, putting it behind Dean on the back of the couch. Almost, but not quite putting his arm around him.

Dean barely moved, to let him adjust, settling a bit closer into his side.

Castiel was torn between the spiraling end of the movie and the drama of proximity happening with Dean. He had moved his hand off his thigh when he adjusted, but now his elbow was parked on his thigh.

Charlie was snuggled into Dean’s other side. “I love her. I love this movie.”

“Mm,” Dean murmured, sounding half asleep.

As the music played and the credits scrolled, Charlie sat up. “Wasn’t that amazing?”

“It was great,” Castiel said. “It was all so beautiful. That library!”

“Right?!” Charlie flipped a light on, neither Dean or Castiel moving. “So, come on, Cas. Isn’t she gorgeous?”

Dean looked up at him. Their heads were so close that their mouths were mere inches apart. “She’s not my type, Charlie. She didn’t do anything for me.” 

“Nothing?! You’re impossible!” She declared, standing up and heading into the kitchen.

Dean had turned back to watch Charlie, but he was definitely closer than he needed to be. Castiel’s arm that was on the back of the couch twitched with a want to come lower. But he was nowhere near brave enough for that.

“Are you an Emma Watson fan?” Castiel asked. Dean turned just a bit, not looking at him. 

“Not really. I told Charlie I was, just to shut her up.”

Castiel grinned at that.

“You two up for another movie?” Charlie asked, beaming with a grin as she came into the living room with a plate of cheese and crackers.

“Yeah,” Castiel and Dean answered.

“You guys are too cute,” she sighed, sitting down, putting her feet on Dean’s lap, keeping him where he was. He leaned forward, reaching for the remote, sitting back just slightly closer.

“Am I squishing you?” Dean asked pushing back into him with a bounce.

“No,” Castiel answered, hating that his voice caught.

Dean chuckled, taking the plate of cheese and crackers and putting it on Castiel’s lap. He held it so it wouldn’t tip.

“What’d you wanna watch?” Dean asked him. It was quiet and warm and just for him. Castiel thought there had never been a phrase uttered to him with such warmth.

“Anything,” he said back just as softly. “You pick.”

Dean went through several menus, settling on some action movie Castiel had never heard of.

Dean stood up, going to the bathroom. Castiel mourned the loss of his heat, pulling his arm off the back of the couch.

“I hope you have a high tolerance for action movies, since you’re living here,” Charlie grinned.

Castiel sat the plate of cheese and crackers on the coffee table. He picked his plate from dinner up. “I have a pretty high tolerance for most things,” Castiel said.

He came back to the living room, finding Dean in his spot, arm stretched out along the back of the sofa. Castiel wondered if he should just sit in the chair. But Charlie pulled her feet back, Dean doing the same from where they were propped on the table. 

Castiel sat down, looking at Dean. “You stole my spot.”

Dean grinned. “My spot. This is where I always sit. Now eat some cheese and chill.”

Castiel grinned, shaking his head. “Bossy.”

Charlie snorted a laugh. “Bossiest person ever.”

“You be quiet, Red.”

Castiel sat between the pair, slightly closer to Dean.

“Have you seen this?” Dean asked, getting the plate and starting the movie.

“I’ve never even heard of this,” Castiel admitted.

“It might suck. We can change it if it does.”

Castiel reached for a piece of cheese. Not because he wanted it so much as he wanted back in Dean’s personal space. Earlier had felt so good.

Dean popped a block of cheese in his mouth and put the plate on Castiel’s lap again. Charlie turned the light off, putting them in the dark except the light from the TV. She took a few crackers and blocks and wiggled into a comfy ball on the opposite end of the couch.

Castiel didn’t particularly want any more. He picked another piece up, handing it to Dean.

Dean took it without his eyes leaving the screen. “There’s number one,” Dean pointed, patting Cas on the shoulder from behind.

“What does that mean?” Castiel asked, feeling Dean’s hand land just behind him.

“Means he’s gonna die first,” Dean said with a nod.

“It’s gonna be the guy at the counter,” Charlie called.

“We’ll see,” Dean smirked.

Two scenes later, the guy Dean pegged was shot, then the guy at the counter.

“Ha!” Dean laughed. “Called it.”

“Uh! I was so close,” Charlie yelled.

“You have to do the next beer run,” Dean teased.

“I know,” Charlie sighed.

Castiel had noticed there was beer in the fridge. He had not said anything, assuming it had been John’s. But as Charlie got up and went to the fridge, he realized it was Dean’s.

“Cas, you want one?” Charlie asked. “It’s Blue Moon.”

“Yeah,” he answered.

“This guy is gonna get his ass handed to him,” Dean grinned.

Castiel looked back at the movie, each of them taking a beer from Charlie. “But he’s the star. I thought he would win.”

“No way. Not until the end,” Dean chuckled, leaning into Castiel to grab a piece of cheese.

Castiel followed his movement back, settling in much closer than he needed to.

Dean tipped his head over to Castiel’s ear. “Ya gotta beat up the good guy for awhile, then dominate at the end.”

Castiel turned, following the sound of his voice to his mouth. He had an exquisite mouth. “You are quite the expert.”

He looked up, catching Dean’s eye. They froze for a moment, Dean’s eyes dropping down to his mouth. “I am. You will be too by the time I’m done with you.”

Chills ran down Castiel’s spine. He handed Dean a piece of cheese. He took it slowly, his fingers grazing Castiel’s.

Castiel turned as an explosion on the TV flared light into the dim living room. But all he could think about was the warm body he was leaning into. The arm semi around him and the look on Dean’s face a moment ago. His stomach knotted in a new way.

Action movies weren’t really his thing. But this might be his new favorite movie. He barely knew what was happening with the story line but he knew every little move Dean made.

An hour into the movie, he leaned forward to put the deserted plate on the table. When he leaned back, he went for broke. All signs were pointing to Dean wanting him closer. He sat back, his shoulder resting onto Dean’s. Like a romance scene from a movie, Dean’s arm finally rested around his shoulders with ease. He glanced back at Dean nervously, seeing he was half asleep, but still trying to watch. A small smile curved his lips.

Castiel let his head fall softly onto Dean’s shoulder, squirming his way in tighter. He didn’t care about the movie. He only cared about this heavenly body of warmth around him. 

“Somebody needs to whack this guy,” Charlie yawned.

“They will.” The sound of Dean’s voice from his ear pressed to his chest was hypnotic. His hand came around resting on Castiel’s arm.

“Oh my God. He’s too cute,” Charlie said with girly hum.

Dean chuckled softly. Castiel grinned. He wanted this movie to last all night. Forever. He had no idea what Dean and Charlie were talking about. And he did not care. The splendor of the feeling he had was thrumming through him.

Entirely too soon, the movie was over. He did not know who lived or died but he knew the steady beat of Dean’s heart.

Charlie got up, whispering something about Sam’s room and Dean nodded. His hand went to the back of Castiel’s head, feathering through his hair.

“That’s fine,” Dean said quietly. The TV went off and Charlie left.

Castiel’s heart rate picked up substantially. This was why he wanted the movie to last forever. Because now something had to happen. He wanted to freeze time.

“Cas,” Dean said quietly, the word brushing against the hairline at his forehead. He could fake sleep. He could sleep like this all night because Dean wouldn’t want to disturb him. Or he could tip his head up and try to kiss him. Or, he could just be himself and see what the hell happened.

“Yeah,” he said quietly, opening his eyes fully to the dark room.

Dean’s hand left his hair and went back to his shoulder.

“Movie’s over.”

That was a cue to move. He just wasn’t sure to where. Castiel swallowed, pulling away from Dean’s chest into a sitting position next to him. He looked at Dean, swallowing again.

Dean grinned, one corner of his mouth lifting. “Take It you’re not an action movie fan.”

Castiel wanted to be anything that moved this conversation in the direction of kissing Dean. “I am now.”

Dean raised an eyebrow, shaking his head. He stood up, Castiel deflating.

He stretched, his t-shirt lifting to show skin in the pale light coming through the picture window behind them. He looked down at Castiel. “Night, Cas.”

Castiel stood up. “Goodnight, Dean.”

Dean hesitated, their eyes locked for what seemed like forever. A questioning look passed over Dean’s face and Castiel could feel himself losing his nerve. He looked down at his bare feet. Dean had not moved. He looked back up, entirely uncertain of what was happening.

Dean’s face was back to its self-assured, handsome stare. “Cas,” he barely said aloud.

Castiel wished for all the world he were brave enough to make a move. All he could do was stare helplessly as Dean rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. He didn’t meet Castiel’s eye again. “Night.”

Castiel watched as Dean went up the steps.

The reality of the situation hit him a little harder. What was he even thinking? Maybe Dean was just being really nice.

A small grin played across his mouth. Or maybe not. Maybe Dean did like him. Not so much like a brother.

 

***************************

 

Dean closed the door to his bedroom. He had NOT meant to do that. It had started innocently enough just sitting close to him. But the way he reacted to any kindness was melting Dean’s heart. And Charlie wasn’t helping. She kept saying things and egging him on.

He pulled his jeans off, kicking them toward the hamper, and pulled on a pair of pajama pants. He got in the bed, pulling his covers only partially up. He was so distracted that he didn’t even take his t-shirt off.

The memory of Cas cuddling up to him on the couch was leaving him with a dull ache. He suspected it could have gone a lot further. And honestly, he wasn’t sure he was ready for that. And Cas certainly was not in the right place for such things.

Castiel was practically his step brother. He had heard Naomi talk about him plenty of times. The image he had conjured in his head was still not adding up to the guy on his couch. He was supposed to be the pretentious, stuck-up, genius, brother that he was forced to share holiday meals with. Now, with his dad and Cas’ mom out of the picture...it left them all a bit directionless.

He shouldn’t have put his arm around him like that. He shouldn’t have even contemplated kissing him. But his mouth was...delicious looking.

He flopped onto the bed, blowing out a loud breath. That last moment before he had come upstairs had not answered one question. Dean had been wondering if Cas was cuddling up in a sibling kind of way, just needing affection. Or was he as interested in him as he was in Cas (which certainly was not in a brotherly way). He stared at his closed door, wishing Cas would just come through it and take all the mystery and wonder out of this. And at the same time, he was glad the door was there.

He rubbed a hand through his hair, remembering the feeling of Cas’ warm skin against his. How disappointed he looked when he said goodnight. It was all there. And here he was, alone. But an annoying voice in the back of his head kept insisting this was the right thing to do. It was annoying doing the right thing.

He rolled over, looking at the dresser in his room. Tomorrow night, he would be sleeping across the hall. Cas could have this room. His room. It felt…bizarre. He really did not like the idea of taking his dad’s room. He had to stop thinking of it that way. This was his house now. Legally. Sam was his. The bills were his. And the responsibilities were all his. He should have the master bedroom. It still didn’t stop how weirded out he was by it. 

He sighed again, rolling over the other way. There was a band poster of Kansas on his wall. He did not want it anymore. Half the shit in here was trash.

He rolled back over, looking at the stack of boxes in the corner. It was going to be a long night. And if he went downstairs…no, he couldn’t go downstairs.

Now he was thirsty. 

He had to go to the kitchen. He had to. He was suddenly so parched. He sat up. 

He could wait. He should really just go to sleep. He laid back down, swallowing dryly.

Nope, not happening.

He threw the covers back, heading for the stairs. He had to have a drink. It wasn’t to see Cas. But…he could peek in the living room to see him.

The couch had been made into a bed with a sheet tucked into the cushions and a blanket and pillow on top. But no Cas.

Curious, Dean went down the hall, seeing the bathroom door was open. The whole downstairs was empty.

“Shit.” Dean panicked that Cas had freaked out over that last look they had shared. What if he ran? How would he ever find him?

He opened the front door. No one was there. He ran to the back door, glancing around the yard and back porch. There, curled up on the glider, was Cas.

Dean sighed in relief. He had not run. But…why was he outside? He knelt down beside the glider, rubbing a hand up and down Cas’ shoulder. “Cas.”

Cas’ eyes popped open, wide and full of wonder. 

“Hey.” Dean couldn’t help but grin. “Why are you sleeping out here?”

“I just came out for some air,” he said, gravelly, his eyes drifting closed with a sweet smile.

“You can’t sleep out here,” Dean chuckled. “Come on, let’s go inside.”

Cas yawned and nodded, sitting up. 

Dean sat down next to him, sliding an arm around him without even thinking about it. Cas’ eyes opened fully, not looking at him, but not moving away either.

Dean pulled his arm back, worrying that maybe he had read Cas wrong. Or moved too quickly.

Cas looked at him. “Dean…”

“Sorry,” Dean said quietly. “I didn’t mean to upset you, if I did.”

Castiel shook his head. “You didn’t upset me,” Castiel said, barely above a whisper. “I just…have trouble sleeping.”

Dean relaxed, letting their shoulders touch again. “Oh, I get that.”

Castiel looked up at the sky. “I used to dream that I could fly. All my life. When I slept, I would dream about flying. It was so…freeing.” He swallowed. “Since my mom died…all I dream about is falling. I fall from anything. A chair. An escalator at a mall. The top of a building. It’s…terrifying. It jolts me awake every time.”

“So…you like flying?” Dean asked, focusing on the positive instead of the negative.

Castiel grinned, looking back at Dean. “Oh yes. It feels so natural. I must have been a bird in a past life.” He looked down shyly.

“Maybe you’re like an angel. They fall sometimes.”

Cas gave him a startled look. He looked down with a grin and Dean knew he was blushing. “My mother always called me her angel. I’m named after one. The angel of Thursday as I was born on a Thursday.”

Dean grinned. “Well, simple explanation then. You’re a sad angel. Don’t worry, Cas. You’ll get your mojo back.”

“I am far from an angel, Dean.”

Dean still grinned. Every time Cas said his name, he wanted to melt like a twelve-year-old girl. Truly, the effect was ridiculous. 

“So…I guess you’re avoiding sleep so you don’t fall?” Dean asked.

“I guess,” Cas nodded.

Dean stood up. If there was one thing he was good at, it was avoidance. “Let’s go play some video games. You can stay up all night as long as your ass is awake and ready by noon.”

Castiel nodded, following him back into the house. Dean locked the back door and joined him on the couch in the living room to see what games he had that Cas would like.

They settled on Call of Duty and Dean spent the next hour instructing him how to play. By 2am, Cas had the hang of it. By 3am, Cas was asleep with his head on Dean’s lap. Dean fell asleep too, sitting right where he was. He reasoned with himself that if he moved, he would have woken him up. And he was sleeping soundly.

After he shut the game down and the TV off, Dean threaded his fingers through Cas’ hair and ran his thumb down his neck. Castiel, like a cat, only shifted closer.

Dean felt like he was holding a detonator full of potential. One push and Cas would do anything he wanted. At least, that was the impression he had. And left unpushed, nothing would happen. Cas was too shy to do otherwise. It was a lot of assumptions and a lot of pressure.

He needed to slow down and see if he even really liked the guy. What he did know, he liked. He was sarcastic and funny. Clueless on some things. His frown was as magnetic as when he stared. He had never met someone who stared so raptly. It drew you into a world of blue and hair and mouth and, God, he bet he tasted as good as he looked.


	4. Weekend At Dean’s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys get to play a little and cry a little. And Cas meets Bobby :)

4: Weekend at Dean’s

 

Castiel woke slowly. He had slept like a rock. And he had not dreamt at all. His eyes opened slowly, blinking in the light. He lifted his head from the firm warmth beneath his cheek. He was staring at the crotch of Dean Winchester. His eyes traveled up his abdomen and to the sleeping face of Dean. His head was propped onto a couch pillow. It was pretty obvious he decided to stay there for Castiel’s sake. 

Castiel grinned. How was this even possible? 

“What are you smiling about?” Dean murmured.

Surprised Dean was awake, and even more surprised he had caught him grinning, he blushed, covering his face.

Dean grinned, turning his head and stretching. “Morning, Sunshine,” Dean yawned.

Castiel sat up. “Did you…were you awake all night?”

“Nope, slept like a log,” Dean grinned sleepily. He rubbed his neck, turning his head from side to side with a wince.

Castiel looked at his watch. It was already 9:30. “You hungry?”

“Always.”

Castiel chuckled. He got up and headed for the kitchen. He pulled out eggs, bacon, and bread.

He yawned, putting bacon in the frying pan. He then moved to the coffee pot.

Dean came in, looking at the pan. “Dude, are you making breakfast?”

“That is generally the first meal of the day,” Castiel grinned. He glanced at Dean, catching him roll his eyes with a grin. 

“Smart-ass,” Dean smirked.

“Better than a dumbass,” Castiel chuckled.

Dean grinned, leaning against the counter. Cas’ mom used to say that. “I’ll go kick Charlie out of bed.”

 

**********************************************

 

Sam got home at 11:30, and Castiel immediately felt sick. The thought of going in that room made his stomach roll. Dean didn’t look too enthusiastic either. Their first delay was boxes. There was not much point in ‘packing up’ if you didn’t have boxes to pack stuff into. 

Then they needed lunch.

Then they had to be sure there was room in their tiny attic to accommodate the boxes.

After shuffling around the attic, they needed beer.

Then Charlie, who had left after breakfast, stopped by. So, they had a beer in the backyard at the picnic table.

Castiel liked the yard. It was large enough to feel open, but closed in on all sides by privacy fencing and bushes.

“My dad hates the neighbors,” Dean noted.

Castiel looked back at Dean. “Why?”

Sam shrugged. “He just wasn’t a people person.”

“Me either,” Castiel and Dean said at the same time. They both grinned and Dean clinked his bottle to Castiel’s. 

“Naomi was really good for him,” Sam went on, staring out into the yard. “She was sweet. But she would get after my dad in a second if he started acting rude. I never saw him so laid-back as when Naomi was here.”

Castiel could see Sam was sad and missing her. Something in that made him feel not as alone with his loss.

“I was really upset we couldn’t go to the funeral,” Sam added quietly.

“I wondered why you didn’t come,” Castiel admitted. “I had heard about you both but never saw either of you.”

“When Zachariah came, he claimed your mom before we even knew he was in town. He made all the arrangements for her to be taken to Indiana.” Dean turned the beer bottle in his hands. “We ran into him at the funeral home and at the police station. He told us we weren’t welcome. Among other things.”

Castiel’s jaw dropped. “He told me you were busy! I assumed you were busy with your dad’s funeral and just couldn’t make it.” Castiel sat back a bit. “I’m sorry I didn’t try to come to John’s. I was...a mess.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Sam waved. “It was all awful. It’s just too bad we didn’t know you better. It might have helped, ya know?”

“Yeah,” Castiel stared at the label on his beer. Yes, it would have helped. Just to know there was anyone out there that understood just what the world was missing when it lost Naomi Novak, would have been a comfort. He’d had to endure family he did not like and who openly thought little of him. His mother’s fight with her family had been years long, starting before Castiel was born. Zachariah was a politician. A dirty one, according to his mother, and she never wanted him to have anything to do with any of them. And her acceptance of him being gay was probably not supported either. Not by the glares he had gotten. If Castiel had his way, he would have cremated her and kept her with him, but for some ridiculous reason, Zachariah was in charge of everything. So, his mother was buried in a state he had no ties to.

“I met her a few times, just stopping by the house for Sam,” Charlie said quietly. “She was really nice.”

Castiel held the breath in his chest, feeling the familiar ache of holding his emotions in. He could swear he had new muscles from doing this so often. His eyes stung and he knew he was getting blotchy from restraining tears.

Charlie leaned over, putting an arm around him and leaning her head against his. The comfort was almost too much, reminding him again of Anna. She and Gabe had been unending support over the past months. He patted her arm and huffed a tight laugh. “I’m good,” he assured her.

“You aren’t good. And that’s okay,” Charlie said quietly. “Sam and Dean have their moments too, don’t let all that bravado fool you.”

Castiel glanced up at Dean. He was giving his beer a stern stare. Sam was nodding, not meeting his eye either.

“We should take Cas to the lake. Cleaning out can wait,” Dean said in a low voice.

Castiel felt slightly like he was failing at his goal to accomplish the task he came for, but mostly he felt relieved. His stomach unclenched and he took a deep breath as Charlie sat up. He gave her a timid smile. “You remind me of my friend Anna.”

“Oh! Is she cute?” Charlie grinned.

Castiel laughed. “You sound like her too.”

“She into girls?” Charlie bumped his shoulder with hers.

“Very,” Castiel grinned. “She’s a redhead like you. We met at a gay pride event on campus and I haven’t been able to shake her since.”

“Huh,” Dean grinned, “must be your long lost twin.”

She stuck her tongue out at Dean. “Show me some pics.”

Castiel pulled his phone out, showing pictures of his friends Gabe and Anna, telling them a few stories about their antics.

“She’s pretty,” Charlie grinned. “I hope I get to meet her.”

Castiel sighed. At this point, he wondered if he’d ever see them again himself. He dreaded the thought of another year in Massachusetts. It was supposed to be a great year, finally off campus and living in an apartment, and even that was only sounding stressful at this point. 

“Come on, let’s go for a drive,” Dean prompted, getting up. “I’ve only had half a beer. We can pack a cooler and Sam can drive home.”

“Yay,” Sam rolled his eyes.

“Do you have your license, Sam?” Castiel asked him, following the brothers inside.

“No. I can drive just fine, but we keep putting off going to the DMV.”

“I can take you,” he offered. “If you have a car to take.”

“Only one car and Dean’s a car hog,” Sam said, deflecting a swat from Dean with practiced precision.

“Bitch, you act like it’s been forever.” He turned back to Castiel. “He turned sixteen last week.”

Castiel grinned. “And you aren’t a car hog?”

Dean grinned back. “Maybe.”

The four rode out of Lawrence and into the outer edges of town. Castiel loved to ride in the car. He liked driving too, but he preferred sitting back and watching the world go by. It was relaxing, letting his mind wonder about places or people he saw for the briefest of moments. Fields and grass stretched out for miles. Kansas was so flat. They passed cattle and a few barns with horses dotting the fields.

Dean seemed to like to be in control. He drove like he had been driving forever. He controlled the music as well, assuring him if he let Charlie or Sam pick, they’d be listening to pop music, and that just wasn’t happening ‘in his Baby’. Dean played 70’s rock. Loud. Castiel liked it. It was too loud to think about much of anything and that was just fine with him.

The only thing that would have made the ride better would be to sit up front. He might have to work on that.

A large lake came into view. The car pulled into a parking area off the road. Trees lined the area, providing shade and greenery. They followed a trail halfway around the lake before Dean left it, heading for some benches that overlooked the water. It was not a good spot to access the water, but the shade and view were lovely.

He sat on the bench next to Dean, watching several small boats out on the lake. There were paddle boats and one little fishing boat. He could see a roped off section with a sandy shore for swimming on the opposite side of the lake. The wind blowing off the water felt cool and refreshing.

“You like doing stuff outside?” Dean asked.

“Some. I run a lot. Or used to. The paddle boats look like fun.”

“You can rent them,” Dean said quietly. “We aren’t really dressed for it today but we can come back. They have canoes too, but last time I took Sam, he dumped us three times.”

Castiel looked over at him, grinning. “Have you and Sam always been close?”

Dean sighed. “Yeah.”

Castiel liked that. People so often spoke terribly about their siblings. And even though Dean and Sam sometimes snapped at each other, they seemed very close. As an only child, Castiel found this intriguing. He wondered how things would be different if he had a brother to share life with. A unique partner who had witnessed growing up right beside you. It would have to be comforting to know someone else knew you. He had no one in the world that fit that niche and he never would.

“Naomi didn’t seem like the outside type. She did a lot of reading.”

Castiel nodded. “She used to hassle me about running. She’d say just go to the gym. You might get mugged or fall or get muddy if you run outside.” He huffed a laugh. “I like getting muddy.”

Dean looked at him with curiosity. “She used to go to the gym with Sam. He hasn’t been there since she...”

Castiel’s eyes slid over to Sam, who was talking quietly to Charlie. The thought made him sad.

Maybe he could go with Sam. Or maybe they could come here and run. He liked the thought of doing things for Sam. It gave him some purpose.

“Ever been camping?” Dean asked.

“No, never. I would love to try it! Do you camp?”

Dean nodded. “Used to camp all the time with my dad when we were kids.”

Castiel lit up at the thought. “Could we do that? Is it expensive?”

Dean chuckled, losing some of the sadness that had crept into his green eyes. “Sure. We can go next weekend. And it’s cheap. I already have everything we need, besides some food.”

Castiel sat back with a grin. “That would be great.” His mom used to talk about John’s sons. She always said he would like them. That he would fit in, when he came to visit. That having brothers might be good for him. “I think my mom was right about you two.”

“Oh yeah? What’d she say?”

He looked back at Dean with a grin. “She said I’d like it here. That you were a good brother. That...I would like you guys. And I do. This hasn’t been nearly as horrifying as I had worried it could be.”

“Nearly as horrifying?” Dean laughed. “Did you think we were serial killers?”

“No,” Castiel laughed, tugging his sleeve nervously. “I thought you’d never let me in. That...I would be homeless for two and half months.”

Dean’s grin faded and he put his hand on Castiel’s knee, making Castiel immediately flush and sit up a little straighter. “You don’t have to worry about that. Stay the whole summer.”

Castiel nodded shyly. Dean had said this twice now. And by the look on his face, Castiel was sure Dean meant it. “Okay.”

Dean moved his hand back to his own lap. “Wanna walk over to the frozen ice stand?” Dean asked Sam.

“Yeah!” Sam got up, pulling Charlie to her feet.

“Yay!” Charlie cheered. “I love frozen ice. It makes me feel like I’m five again!”

Charlie and Sam exchanged a look, without exchanging a word, Sam shrugged and Charlie clapped her hands, standing on the bench. Castiel watched with some fascination as Sam stepped back, already knowing what Charlie wanted. She wrapped her arms over Sam’s shoulders as he hoisted her up for a piggy-back ride. Sam carried her easily as they began walking further around the lake.

Dean just followed, like it was something they did all the time.

They talked about the lake and how Charlie, Sam, and Dean came here a lot. Castiel asked a lot of questions about camping, seeming to amuse Dean with his lack of experience.

They spent longer at the lake than Castiel had thought they would. The day quickly dwindled away. They stopped at Charlie’s apartment and watched a movie and ate. By the time they got back to the house, it was late. They went to bed, forgetting about the room upstairs.

 

***********************************

 

Dean spent the next day helping Benny fix his car. Cas had taken Sam driving. Dean didn’t feel too confident about anyone other than himself teaching his brother how to drive. But he just hadn’t taken the time like he should have lately. So, Sam had pulled out of the driveway in Dean’s pride and joy with Cas in the passenger seat.

“So this guy a mooch, or what?” Benny asked after Dean had given him a quick rundown of events the past week. 

“No,” Dean said, pulling himself from under the car. “He’s just shit outta luck. No mom or dad at all. No brothers or sisters. Far as I know, the guy has a whopping total of two friends at school.”

“Does he have a job yet?” Benny probed. “He knows he can’t just live off of you, right?”

Dean narrowed his eyes. “Ease up, man. He’s been here a week.”

Benny raised his hands in defense. “Alrigh’, brotha. Jus makin’ sure he ain’t takin’ advantage of you.”

Dean reached in and started the car, listening to the engine. “She’s all fixed.”

“Much obliged,” Benny grinned. “Well, here comes your brothas now.”

Dean watched as Sam parallel parked his baby without bumping the curb. They were talking about something, both of them grinning. “Yep. Musta gone okay.”

He didn’t feel completely better until Sam put his keys back in his hand. “How’d it go?”

“Great! I wish I didn’t have to wait to take my test. I’m ready now.”

Dean nodded, eyeing his car for any scratches. “How’d he do, Cas?”

“Very well.”

“Cas, this is Benny, Benny, our brother, Cas.”

Benny only slightly raised an eyebrow at the familiar title Sam was using, but Dean caught it anyway. Benny walked over to Cas, sizing him up. Benny always seemed ready to go into battle when he met someone new. “Hey, there, Castiel.”

“Hello,” Castiel smiled back innocently. He shook Benny’s hand, giving him a slightly curious look back.

“You eva need someone to take ya out, Sam, you call me anytime,” Benny offered.

“Thanks,” Sam nodded. “Cas is awesome. WAY more chill than Dean.”

“I’m sure Dean handled all the beginning learning when it was much scarier. You already know what you’re doing now,” Cas insisted, giving Dean a quick glance. 

Sam shrugged. “Cas got a job at the Gas-n-Sip.”

“You did?” Dean asked, wiping his hands off the best he could. He stepped a little closer to Cas. “I thought we talked about you being around for Sam.”

Cas’ brow furrowed slightly. “I told you I still need to earn money for next semester. But I’ll mostly be working 6am to 11am. It’s only part time.”

Dean nodded. He really liked the thought of Cas being home for Sam. 

“But this coming week I’ll be working 5pm to midnight so they can train me.”

Dean frowned. “So, you won’t be around for dinner.”

“I’ll make it before I leave for work.” Castiel frowned. “It’s the perfect place to work. It’s easy, they pay decently, and I can walk there.”

Dean frowned back at that. “I don’t know about you walking there. And definitely not home.”

“Dean,” Castiel’s frown broke into a smile. “I’ll be fine.”

Dean didn’t like it. He just knew he would work too much and he worried about him being safe enough alone at night.

“I thought about getting a job there too,” Sam added, “but Cas took the last available spot.”

“I don’t think so,” Dean shook his head. “You should enjoy one last summer before the real world never lets you off work again.”

Sam shook his head. “Quit doing that, Dean. I’ll survive if I get a job. Plenty of my friends work already.”

Sam and Cas exchanged a grin, walking into the house. He just wanted what he made to be enough. Let him work and they could stay home. Shaking his head, he started picking up his tools to clean and put away. He caught sight of Benny with an odd look on his face. “What?”

“He your brotha or your wife?” Benny laughed.

“Shut up. I just...like having him here to keep an eye on Sam. It isn’t as easy as it sounds to keep track of a sixteen year old. Remember the shit we were doing when we were sixteen?”

Benny chuckled. “I suppose.”

Dean tried not to look as annoyed as he felt. And Cas was right. He needed to earn money for school. He wondered if he cut back on some unnecessary expenditures, maybe he could send Cas some money when he was at school. And then what? The guy was going to graduate and go...somewhere. Who knew where. A Harvard education would give him a ticket to pretty much anywhere, right? The thought left a cold spot inside him. Cas wouldn’t be around long.

He really shouldn’t get attached.

Neither should Sam.

“He’s been distracted all day,” Benny said.

Dean turned around, seeing Cas standing there looking like he was waiting for an answer to something. “What?”

Cas frowned slightly. The guy was easily rattled and Dean kept forgetting that. “Will you be here for dinner?”

Dean wanted to curb his sudden change of attitude, hating the look of worry on Cas’ face, but he didn’t. It was better if they weren’t such great friends. 

“No, I’m gonna go out with some friends.” He didn’t apologize for the cold come-back and he didn’t make Cas feel welcome to hang out with whoever he ended up going to dinner with.

Cas nodded and headed back for the house.

Benny gave him a questioning look, but was smart enough not to ask.

 

************************************

 

Castiel sat on the couch in the living room. He was the only one home. The TV played some talk show endlessly, but all his attention was on a porcelain figurine of a mermaid. He wished his mom were here to explain the Winchesters to him. Sam was Sam. But Dean was hot and cold. He had thought that evening they watched movies had been wonderful. Sitting with Dean and Charlie. Sitting so close to Dean. He had his arm around him one night, telling him he wanted him to stay for the summer another night, and the next evening he acted like he didn’t want him around. He chalked it up to feeling insecure and his typical tendency to think the worst. Still the feeling of not belonging and being an imposition rattled through his brain.

Sunday had passed with little else being said. Sam had gone to his friend’s house, leaving Castiel alone. It had been a quiet evening, which was fine with him, if he could just shut his own head up. He had drank a few beers, hoping to at least make himself sleep.

Now, it was Monday. Dean was at work. Sam was at school. And he had done a few chores when they left. Now he just couldn’t seem to get past the figurine on the shelf.

His mother had bought it when they went on vacation to the beach four years ago. Back when it was him and his mom against the world. He had gotten a boogie board. He had no idea if it was even around anymore. But here was the mermaid figure.

It looked out of place here. Or maybe that was just him projecting. He wished he could ask his mom.

He made dinner when Sam got home. Castiel had to admit, Sam was adorable. He might be as tall as him already, but he was still young enough to be like a kid sometimes. His excitement with driving was enough to make Castiel excited to do it with him. In general, he was easy to be around and he was a great kid. They didn’t have a lot in common, but it never stopped Sam from having plenty to talk about. 

He left for work before Dean got home. On his break, he was surprised to see a text from Dean.

Dean: What time do you get off?

Castiel: Midnight

He saw the message was read, but there was no response. He was feeling rather anxious from constantly feeling new and out of place. Sam was very welcoming and Dean had been initially, but something had changed. The job was strange and new. His coworker, Marv, was not who he would normally be working with and definitely not someone he felt all that friendly towards. He slid down in his seat in the tiny break room and called Anna.

“Hey, Castiel!” She answered brightly, as always.

“Hi, Anna. How are you?”

“Great! I was at a flea market the other day and got a whole set of pots and pans. I think I have all the kitchen stuff we need.”

“Wow! What should I get?”

“Um...Gabe’s getting all the bathroom stuff we’ll need. How about you do the initial grocery run. That way you don’t have to fly stuff to Boston.”

“That sounds like a good idea.”

“How are you doing? I sure am missing you.”

Castiel smiled. “I miss you too. I’m doing okay. I’m living at the house my new brothers grew up in.”

“I saw the picture you sent. They’re cute! Too bad you’re related. The older one looks like a damn model!”

“We aren’t actually related. The older one is Dean.”

“Yeah, Dean, whew! I might flip teams for a night in a back seat with that!”

Castiel laughed. He missed Anna’s easy-going, sweet temperament. “I might have to fight you on that one.”

“Oh yeah? You aren’t crushing on your own brother, are you?” She giggled mischievously, making Castiel grin.

“You know what they say. Incest is best.”

She laughed. “Any real possibility there?”

Castiel shrugged, picking at the wrapper of his hotdog. “I don’t think so. He’s not too happy I’m here. He isn’t a very trusting guy. He’s a lot like John, his dad. What little I knew of him, anyway.”

“Are you doing okay? You can come stay with me, ya know.”

“I know. I’m doing okay. Besides, I still haven’t packed up my mom’s things. I keep putting it off. Dean doesn’t seem too interested in cleaning out his dad’s room either.”

“You’ll do it. You just need a little time. It’s okay.”

“Sam has been fun to hang out with. He’s a great kid.”

“That’s the one with longer hair?”

“Yes. We’re working on driving. And we all might go camping this weekend.”

“Wow! Look at you, fitting in! I’m so proud!”

Castiel chuckled. He knew she meant it too. They talked until his break was over.

There was actually a lot more to running a convenience store than Castiel had thought. There was the daunting register. Then there were the soda dispensers that needed changing, coffee to keep brewed, and his new enemy...the Slurpy machine. Marv made it look easy, but Castiel ended up with blue slush all over the floor and his shoes. Marv had a small fit about it and then Castiel learned the mopping procedures.

It was a lot to take in. 

After what seemed like forever, his first shift was over. Marv assured him he was doing great, but he could see the frustration in his eyes.

He clocked out, heading out the back of the store. He had taken less than ten steps in the parking lot when he caught sight of Dean leaning up against the Impala.

He hesitated. Maybe Dean was going somewhere. Their eyes met and Dean quirked a half grin. Castiel glanced around to see if there was someone else he was looking at. Finding no one behind him, he looked back. Dean shook his head with some amusement, waving him over.

Castiel crossed the busy parking lot with customers coming and going. He walked up to Dean, putting his nervous hands in his pockets. “Hello, Dean.”

“Hey. You done for the night?” Dean asked.

“Yes.”

“Let’s go home,” he grinned, getting to his feet better and got in the car. 

Castiel circled around the hood, getting in quickly. After putting his seatbelt on, he stared at Dean with confusion. “Were you waiting for me?”

“Yeah.” Dean didn’t look at him, but he didn’t seem angry either.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Were you planning on walking home?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah. No. Not happening. Lawrence isn’t a bad town, but it has it’s streets, ya know? I don’t want you walking home alone at night.”

The real concern for his safety was evident on his face. A worried, stressed part in him relaxed a bit. “Dean, you don’t have to do that.”

Dean glanced over at him. “I don’t like the idea of you walking.”

Castiel gave him a smile back. “Are you always a worrier?”

Dean rolled his eyes back to the road. “Just being smart.”

Castiel nodded again. “Alright. Well, I appreciate it. Next week will be better. I’ll be going to and coming from work in the daytime.”

Dean nodded, not looking too convinced about it.

“How was it?”

Castiel sighed, his head tipping against the passenger window. “It was alright. There’s a lot to learn. And I officially hate slushies.”

Dean chuckled at that. “You smell kinda sweet, like...”

“Blue raspberry and sugar? It’s all over my shoes. And I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to the register.”

“I’m sure you’ll get it.” They pulled along the curb in front of the house. Dean shut the engine off and stared at his keys in his lap. “Sam’s last day of school is Thursday. I always take him to the Roadhouse. Do you want to come?”

Castiel wondered if Dean was inviting him because he wanted to or because he felt he had to. Either way, he did look forward to celebrating with Sam. “Yes, I would like that. And I’m off that day.”

“You only work Monday through Wednesday?”

“This week, yes.”

“So...we still on for camping this weekend?”

Castiel knew he must look extremely excited, Dean chuckled before either of them said anything. “We’re still going?”

“Yeah. Works for me. It’s your first trip, so we’ll take it easy on you. We can use one of the campsites by the lake.”

“Can we go further? Somewhere away from people?”

Dean gave him a brief, measuring look. “Maybe on trip two,” he grinned. “I’m not havin’ you hike out to the middle of nowhere and freak out on me.”

“I won’t. What should I bring? What should I pack?”

“A backpack would be good. Couple pair of jeans, socks, shorts, t-shirts. Some long-sleeves too. I’m gonna borrow a sleeping bag from Charlie.”

“Who all is coming camping?” Castiel asked, having forgotten about the others.

“The three of us. Charlie. Benny. Sam’s friend Kevin might come. So...six of us.”

“Alright.” They were in the living room before Castiel even realized it. Others coming relieved some of his worry that Dean would be camping only for him. This alleviated some of that pressure.

“We might have to get you some hiking boots or at least some better sneakers.”

Castiel looked down at his bland, black, and now rather sticky shoes. Gabe always harassed him about his shoes. It had become a bit of a sticking point now.

“Don’t worry,” Dean grinned, patting his shoulder, “we’ll make sure you’re ready to go.” Dean looked at the couch, knowing Castiel would be sleeping on it. “We gotta clean out that room. You gotta be getting sick of that couch.”

Castiel shrugged. “I can work on it tomorrow. I have to stop putting it off.”

Dean fidgeted with the keys in his hands. “You’re off Thursday night, right?”

Castiel nodded.

“We could work on it. Order some pizza, play some music. Make it...not so...”

“Horrible?” Castiel grinned sadly. “Morbid?”

“Yeah. Those.”

They both muttered good nights and Castiel watched as Dean went up the stairs. He could hear him talking to Sam before he heard Dean’s bedroom door shut.


	5. Opening Doors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the title hints...they are going into the dreaded room. Not gonna lie, this one’s a little on the sad side.

5: Opening Doors

 

Dean woke up, jerking with the realization that the dream he was having, where he was running his ass off through some deserted city, running from people that were crazed with some sort of virus, was just a dream.

He threw his covers off and got up. It had been a while since he had that dream. He went to the bathroom, splashing his face with some water. The dream still haunted him, crouching over him like a bad memory. He knew if he went back to bed, he would toss and turn or go right back into that crazy world where Sam was missing and he had to fight diseased people. It was like The Walking Dead on speed.

He went downstairs, stopping in the living room. The couch was made into a bed, but Cas wasn’t in it. He went into the kitchen, pulling a beer from the fridge. He went out the back door, finding Cas on the glider on the back porch.

“Trouble sleeping?” Cas asked quietly. Shivers went down his back. Just like every time Cas talked in that low, sleepy, raspy voice of his.

“Yeah.”

Cas was sipping a beer as well. Dean moved to the edge of the back porch, staring out into the quiet yard. “You can’t sleep either?”

“No.”

Dean walked over to the glider, sitting down next to him. “We gotta get better at this sleeping crap.”

Castiel grinned softly in the moonlight. His features were all washed in grey from the light. His hair looked pitch black but his eyes still radiated blue.

“I had a bad dream about my mom.”

Dean gave him a curious look. “What happened?”

“She...she was angry at me. She was sitting behind this desk in an all-white room and...she was so angry.”

“She’s not angry at you, Cas. She loved you a lot. Like a good mom.”

Cas nodded, looking like he was trying to talk himself into that thought. 

“I keep having these dreams I’m trapped in this deserted city block and I’m being chased by this mob of diseased, violent people. I try to run, I try to find Sam but I can’t -“

He stopped short when Cas put a hand on his leg. “No one is chasing you. You can relax.”

“I know,” Dean let out a breath and took a long swig of beer. 

They sat like that for a long moment before Cas pulled his hand back to his own lap.

They rocked silently for over half an hour on the glider, watching the yard at night. Lost in their own thoughts.

“Wanna play video games?” Cas asked softly, startling Dean slightly.

“Yeah. Might as well.”

They moved inside, working around each other easily. Dean sat back, starting the game they had picked. “Still looking forward to camping?”

“Yes!”

Dean chuckled at just how quick the response was. “I can’t believe you’ve never been camping. You aren’t gonna wuss-out on me and whine to come home, are ya?”

Cas gave him an odd look, stifling himself from saying something. “No. I’ll be fine.”

Dean stared at him probably a little longer than he should, then turned back to the TV with a grin. Given half the chance, he bet he could make Castiel whine.

“You’re losing! He’s gonna -“

Dean stared in shock. He had only been distracted a few seconds. Apparently that was enough for his guy to lose his head. Literally. “Damnit.”

Cas laughed.

Dean turned, watching as Cas’ eyes crinkled at the corners and a rich sound filled the air. He could feel himself grinning just at the sight of it.

Dean shoved Cas’ shoulder.

“The look on your face!” He laughed.

“It wasn’t that funny,” he laughed himself.

Cas tried to stop but chuckled into another volley of laughs. 

Dean wanted more. He reached over, shoving Cas again. He raised his arm in defense and Dean shot under it, tickling him.

“No! No! No!” Cas laughed, squirming away. Dean pinned him down with the other hand, already laughing at the adorable sight of Cas squirming and laughing louder.

“My guy lost his head! And you think it’s funny!”

“You’re, stop!” Cas panted grabbing Dean’s wrist, pushing him away weakly. Dean pushed his way back, up on his knees now and leaning over Cas, tickling with both hands. “You’re so serious!” Cas managed between laughs. “Gonna call you Sarge!”

“My soldier lost his life because you distracted me!” Dean laughed.

Cas shoved him back, working a leg between them. “Sorry Sarge!”

“You should be!” Dean laughed. He laughed even harder when Cas’ foot planted squarely on his chest and launched him back to the opposite end of the couch. “Damn!”

“I said get off,” Cas wheezed, collapsed against the opposite end of the couch. He had to wipe tears of laughter off his cheeks.

Dean chuckled again, watching as Cas caught his breath. The exhausted grin on his face, the flush in his cheeks, and the state of his hair was so, so worth it.

“You get so serious when you play,” Cas sighed, still grinning. “You get this look.” Cas put his hand open in a wide claw up to his own face, making a stern look for only a second before dissolving into a silly grin and his hand and arm flopped to the side. “Sargent Winchester, rounding up the troops!” He did a lazy, floppy salute and tipped his chin down, looking at Dean, still grinning. “It’s funny.”

“I do not!” Dean said, feeling almost bashful, knowing what Cas was talking about. He kicked Cas in the ribs gently, letting him shove his leg away easily.

Cas chuckled. He looked over at the TV, covering his mouth with his hand. “Uh oh, Sarge!”

Dean looked. The game had automatically restarted with his new life. His soldier lay dead on the ground, never defending himself from an attack. The screen was dim with Game Over written big across it. “Son of a bitch!”

He heard muffled chuckling and looked back at Cas, who was watching him. He dropped his hand from his mouth, crossing his arms over his chest to block another attack. But the little shit was still grinning and biting his lip.

“You are so fuckin’ up my scores!”

Cas pulled his feet up, turning to jump off the couch just as Dean lunged at him again. He chased him through the living room, through the kitchen, down the hall and cornered him in the living room again.

The coffee table was between them and Cas rocked from foot to foot, ready to doge either way. Dean prowled back and forth in front of the TV, watching him like a hawk. “I’m gonna get you, you know that right?” He was trying to keep a badass look on his face, but he kept breaking into a grin at Cas’ giggling.

“You can try!” Cas darted back to the entryway and down the hall, thudding and sliding in his socked feet. Dean had almost grabbed him, lost him, chased him and finally caught him in the kitchen. They banged into the table, knocking a chair over. Dean laughed as he caught him around the waist, scrubbing his knuckles across the top of Cas’ head.

He was smaller than Sam, pulling his way out of Dean’s grip, fell to the floor, rolled and sprung up, running again. 

Dean almost got a door to the face when Cas whipped it open and ran out the back door, giggling all the way.

“You can’t go outside!” Dean yelled, laughing as Cas froze like a rabbit in the grass.

“Why?”

“Cause I said so,” Dean bossed, stepping off the patio. “You’re only making this worse. Now I’m really gonna get ya.”

Cas bit his lip. He glanced at the back door and at the side of the house. His hair was sticking up so crazy Dean wished he had his camera.

Cas darted again, heading for the back door. He ran through, not even two steps ahead of him, through the kitchen and back to the corner at the couch, panting. His eyes were wide and there was a light in them that only comes out when you’re playing hard.

Dean took a few steps back and forth in front of the TV. “You’re better at this than Sam is, I’ll give ya that.”

Cas hummed a small grin. Dean got the notion that he seriously wanted to be caught, and was not going to make it easy whatsoever.

He did the only thing any older brother would do. He paced closer to the coffee table and stepped onto it, snatching Cas in two strides.

His look of shock that he would step on furniture was almost as gratifying as getting the punk’s shirt securely in his grip.

“Got ya.”

Cas reared back, but Dean only used the momentum against him, sweeping a foot and straddling him to the floor.

“Holy shit!” Cas squeaked.

Dean grinned down at him. “I make Sam fight his way out. But he’s not as ticklish as you are!”

“No!” Cas gasped, unable to stop him from digging into his sides to tickle him.

Cas laughed and squealed and fought beneath him. “I’m gonna tickle you till you piss your pants!” Dean laughed, taking several elbow shots and tightening his legs to keep him pinned.

“Dean! Stopstopstopstop! Please! Uncle!”

Dean laughed, giving him a few seconds to catch his breath. “Now you see why I have to be so serious?”

Cas wheezed, blinking hard to look up at him.

“Because all you do is lay around and giggle.” He had to laugh at the giggles and laughs that erupted from him. He had managed to secure a grip Dean couldn’t shake on one wrist, but he could still keep him laughing with just one hand.

The lights came on suddenly and Dean froze, both of them looking at the doorway. Cas couldn’t see because the coffee table was in his way, but Dean saw one very irritated looking Sam standing there.

“It’s 3:30 in the morning.”

Dean bit back a laugh at his so serious tone of voice. Cas’ grip on his wrist loosened and he pulled his hand away slowly. “I hadn’t noticed,” Dean answered.

Sam sighed. “What the hell are you two doing down here?”

“Cas is being ridiculously noisy,” Dean deadpanned, digging his finger into Cas’ side, making him twitch around and start laughing again.

“Sam! You gotta help me!”

Dean turned to Cas, lighting up with challenge. “You callin’ in backup? That’s MY brother, not yours!” Dean laughed, tickling Cas harder and grinning.

Dean stopped instantly when Sam came from behind, hooking an arm around his chest, yanking him off Cas.

“Ho! Shit!” Dean yelped.

Sam laughed, bowling Dean onto the floor.

Dean rolled, getting to his feet. Sam had helped Cas to his feet and the pair were watching him like prey now. “I call bullshit!” Dean laughed, knowing he couldn’t possibly make it out of this without being taken down at some point. He ran down the hall, into the kitchen and straight into Sam. Sam tackled him instantly to the floor with a swift take-down. “It’s not fair that you’re picking on Cas without any back-up,” Sam stated, keeping his arm from getting out of the hold it was in.

“He started it!” Dean huffed, pulling another way and still not able to get loose.

Sam grinned down at him. “I doubt that.” He looked up at Cas, who had circled around and was kneeling down on the floor slowly. “Did you start it, Cas?”

“I was only watching him play a video game. He attacked me. Unprovoked.”

“You little shit!” Dean laughed.

A grin crept up one side of his mouth, his eyes pinning Dean’s. “Got ‘im, Sam?”

Sam nodded, securing his already secure grip. 

“Hey! Two to one is cheating!” Dean yelled. But it was too late. Cas tickled his sides so bad he was writhing in seconds, yelling for them to stop. 

“I’m gonna pee on you!” Dean panted frantically. Cas stopped, leaning over him with a wide grin. 

Sam let go of Dean’s arms, getting to his feet. 

“Thanks, Sam!” Cas grinned.

“Anytime.”

“Pay back,” Dean wheezed, “is such a bitch!”

Cas and Sam laughed, stepping back. “Man, I wish you woulda been around ten years ago!”

Cas offered Dean a hand, helping him off the floor. “You seemed to have zero problem taking him down.”

“I wouldn’t say zero,” Dean panted, pulling his shirt up. Light red marks trailed his right side. “Look at that!”

Cas raised an eyebrow and pulled his own shirt off.

“Holy shit, Dean!” Sam yelled.

Dean was surprised to see several red marks on his side and a brush burn on his shoulder. “Damn, Cas. I don’t think I ever marked anybody up like that before.”

“I did the shoulder myself, getting out the back door.”

“You guys were outside?” Sam laughed, shaking his head. “You can tell there aren’t any adults in this house! Horsin’ around at 3:30 in the morning has to be a record.”

Some of the amusement drained from Cas’ face as he pulled his shirt back on. “Sam has school tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Dean sighed. “We should go to bed.”

“No way! Let’s stay up and play video games!”

“No,” Dean and Cas said together.

“You need sleep. I’m sorry we woke you up,” Cas said.

“Yeah. I have to work tomorrow anyway,” Dean added, feeling more tired by the second.

“Ugh. You guys just went from hero to zero. Way to be lame adults.”

Dean and Cas exchanged a small grin, watching Sam go through the living room and up the steps.

Dean huffed a laugh. “It still blows my mind sometimes that he listens to me.”

Cas flipped the kitchen light off as they walked into the living room. “You take good care of him.”

Dean shrugged. Not really. He was trying.

“Guess I have to go back to bed now.”

Cas grinned. “If you can’t sleep, find someone else to pick on.”

“You love it,” Dean laughed, shoving his shoulder gently.

“Night, Sarge,” Cas grinned, heading for the couch to fix the sheets and cover.

“Better snap to, lackey!” He headed up the steps, leaving before he started anything else. He grinned the whole way back to bed. The sound of Cas laughing, the look on his face when he was happy, it all made Dean feel good. Why had he been keeping his distance again? Because that old voice in his head warned him to keep some distance. That Cas wouldn’t be back. Don’t get attached.

He got in bed, exhausted and happy. Worn out from some fun in the middle of the night. So what if Cas left and they never heard from him again? He was going to be here for another two months. He might as well make the best of it.

Hell, if they had a good enough summer, Cas might actually become family and come around for holidays.

 

*************************************

 

Tuesday and Wednesday passed quickly. Castiel took care of the house, mowed, and made dinner. He promised to relinquish more of the work when Sam got out of school.

Thursday morning started bright and early. It was the last day of school for Sam and he was really pushing the time.

“Sam! I hear bus brakes!” Cas yelled up the steps.

“I’m goin’!” Sam yelled, running down the stairs, grabbing a lunch bag from Cas and flying out the door.

“Did that little shit make it?” Dean asked, coming down the steps at a normal pace. 

They heard the bus brake again, meaning the bus stopped for him.

They exchanged a grin. “Did you seriously give that brat a bagged lunch already made?”

Castiel grinned, holding one out for Dean. “Have a good day at work. Honey.”

Dean’s face lit up. “No way!”

Castiel beamed. “I was up.”

Dean stepped off the last step, hugging him. “You can’t ever leave.”

Castiel hugged him back, laughing. “Okay.”

Dean opened the bag. “You put a freakin’ napkin in here!”

Castiel chuckled. He’d give ten bucks to see the look on Dean’s face when he read what he wrote on the napkin.

“It’s a ham and cheese sandwich, chips, and two brownies.”

“No apple?” Dean smirked.

Castiel shrugged. “I knew you wouldn’t eat it, if I gave you one.”

“You are not wrong!” Dean grinned at him, his eyes soft and his voice dropped an octave. “You’re off tonight, right?”

“Yeah,” Castiel nodded. 

“I’ll, uh, get us some pizza tonight.”

Cas nodded, he noted a small change in Dean’s demeanor. Just a hint of something kinder.

“Have a good day,” he grinned. “Oh, here’s your coffee.”

Dean took the travel mug, looking almost overwhelmed. “See you tonight.”

Castiel nodded, watching him leave. 

He leaned in the doorframe, watching the classic black sex wagon head down the street. He’d have to remember to make Dean lunch more often.

He started a load of laundry and stacked several empty boxes outside the room he had so much trouble going into. 

He stared at the closed door. There was one item inside that he had not stopped thinking about since he had seen it. He put his hand on the knob and licked his dry lips. He could wait. Look at it later. He turned the knob, pushing the door open partly. He could see the book lying on the bedside table. 

His mother read every day of her adult life. Every day. She read to him when he was little. He could still remember the sound of her voice speaking in accents and voices of different characters. She had given him a love for reading as well. They talked about books; recommended things for each other to read. 

He bowed his head. No one would ever know just how great she was. He closed the door, heading downstairs. He didn’t cry, but the familiar knot in his stomach tightened and he couldn’t seem to accomplish much else as the morning went on.

 

***********************************************

 

Dean pulled his brown bag lunch out of the refrigerator at work. He had been looking forward to his lunch all day.

“What are you grinnin’ about?” Bobby asked, sitting across from him.

“Nothin’,” Dean said, opening the bag. His grin only widened as he pulled out the sandwich, chips, and brownies.

Bobby, luckily, was too busy reading the directions to his microwave meal to notice the silly grin Dean knew he had. He pulled the napkin out with a smirk. He packed a freakin’ napkin. He opened it to put his sandwich on it and was doubly surprised to see writing on it.

‘Sarge,   
Have a good day :)  
Castiel’

There was a drawing of a car and a tent with a campfire next to it. Friggin’ Cas.

“Got a love letter?” Bobby asked from beside the microwave where he leaned against the short counter.

Dean schooled his grin a bit, folding the napkin up and tucking it into his pocket. “No. To-do list from my brother.”

Bobby nodded. “When you gonna bring your new brother over?”

“This weekend.” Dean opened his sandwich and took a bite. “We’re going camping at the lake, so we’ll stop over on the way and get the tent Friday evening.”

Bobby nodded. “I’ll be home. You still like havin’ him around?”

Dean was loving his sandwich. It had just the right amount of mayo. He took the time to put lettuce, salt and pepper on it, which he never would have taken the time to do for himself. “Yeah. Love it. Did I tell you he cleans?”

“Mm hm,” Bobby nodded.

Dean let a grin slip. “He packed my freakin’ lunch today.”

Bobby raised an eyebrow. “Damn. I hope he comes to stay with me.”

“No way. He’s mine!” His laugh stuttered slightly. That had come out...not like he meant it to. “He takes good care of Sam too.”

“That’s good.” Bobby pulled his meal out of the microwave, stirred something and put it back in. “You boys doing okay? Really?”

Dean grinned down at the perfect lunch in front of him. “Yeah. I think we are.” He gave Bobby a confident grin, meaning it. “Cas and Sam and I are gonna...” he hesitated with the chip he had in his hand. “We’re gonna clean out Dad’s room tonight.”

Bobby nodded. He brought his lunch over to the table, adding salt and pepper to it. “Need help?”

Dean wanted to say no. He wanted to do it alone. So he didn’t have to act like everything was okay. That erasing his dad from that room was any kind of okay. He also wanted to say yes. Come over. Come make it not feel so painful every time he thought about moving anything in there. 

“Need boxes?” Bobby asked a little quieter.

Did he? How much was he moving out of there? Everything? Was he really gonna make that his room? He ate a few more chips mechanically. “Is it too soon to be takin’ over that room like I own the friggin’ joint?”

Bobby sat his soda down, leaning forward just a little. “No. It ain’t too soon. You do own the joint.” He pushed some food around on the little black plastic tray. “It sounds like Cas might be around a while. Ya have three rooms. Seems kinda crazy he’s still sleepin’ on the couch.”

Dean frowned, taking a drink of the water Cas had packed him. “I offered the room to Cas. He wouldn’t take it. I’ve offered it to Sam. He keeps sayin’ I should have it.”

Bobby nodded. “It’s not too soon, Dean. The house is yours. Ya can’t really run it if you can’t even go in all of it.”

Dean sighed. “Adulting sucks.”

“I know.” He took a small bite, chewing slowly. “I grew up in my house too. Got plenty of ghosts in my closets. But the place is mine. So I made it mine.”

They shared a look. Hell, if it weren’t for Bobby, Dean would have not even been on speaking terms with his dad when he died. His dad had not made being bi easy. He made it a living hell for several years. Then Bobby stepped in. He went to bat, taking some pretty heavy blows from his dad. Dean had moved in with Bobby for a short time. But Bobby managed to talk some sense into his dad.

They actually sat down and had a civil conversation. But by then, a lot of damage had been done. His dad tried to make up for some of that. Especially when Naomi was in the picture.

They got along well enough, but Dean didn’t move back into the house. He wondered if his dad’s ghost was somewhere screaming because his house wasn’t marine presentable at all times. 

“Yer dad doesn’t care that you are moving along with your life, Dean. I’m just glad he came to his senses before it was too late.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah.”

“How’s Castiel takin’ the loss of his mom?”

Dean thought about it as he finished his sandwich. “He’s doing better than when he got here. Thanks to Sam and Charlie, I think he’s gonna stay for the summer. He musta been really close to his mom though. You can see it on his face when he isn’t distracted. And if he isn’t making a meal for someone else to eat, he barely eats. But I think that’s getting a little better.”

Bobby finished his meal, sliding it aside. “Want the stove for camping?”

“Yeah. Cas has never been camping before. I’m takin’ ‘em all glamping this round. I got a spot by the lake. Next time I’ll try to rough it a little.” He grinned at the thought of Cas trying to cook over an open fire, which definitely took some practice to figure out.

Bobby grinned. “Well, I’m glad you got a new friend.”

Dean looked up at him, but Bobby was poking a finger at his empty black tray. “I wouldn’t say we’re friends.” Dean could feel his cheeks flush slightly. “I mean, I gotta like him right? He’s my brother.”

Bobby looked up at him. “No. He’s not. And you don’t know him from Adam. I jus’ don’t wanna come ta find out he’s takin’ advantage of you or Sam in any way.”

Dean huffed a laugh. “You sound like Benny. You’ll meet him tonight. You’ll see. He’s just a sweet guy with no family except me and Sam. None, Bobby.”

“What about those people that showed up for Naomi?” He asked.

Dean unwrapped his brownie, taking a bite.

Ohhhhh...stop the fuckin’ presses...he closed his eyes at the insanely good mouthful of brownie he was experiencing.

“Holy shit.” He opened his eyes, looking at the brownie in his hands. “This is the best thing I may have ever eaten.”

He glanced up at the surprised look on Bobby’s face. 

“Dude, these brownies...”

Bobby started grinning.

“Man...this must be love. You gotta try this.” He slid the second brownie over to Bobby.

Bobby took it, still grinning. “You sure? I could leave you and your dessert alone for a few minutes.”

“Just try it.” Dean couldn’t stop the mmm’s that escaped with every bite.

Bobby was on bite two and looked pretty awe-struck. “Cas made these?”

“Yeah,” Dean grinned.

“Well, he could be a fuckin’ serial killer and I’d keep him around just to make these.”

Dean laughed. “He doesn’t get along with those dicks that showed up here to take Naomi. Him or his mom. Poor kid went through the funeral and everything with no back-up at all. It’s no wonder he’s so shell-shocked from the whole experience.”

And just that quick, their break was over. 

“I’ll be over tonight. Bring some boxes. Meet this brownie baker you got tucked away.”

“Yeah. Alright. Just give us a couple hours to get started.”

 

************************************************

 

Castiel heard the front door open and he took a steady breath, calming his jumpy nerves.

This was it.

They were going in.

“Hey!” Dean grinned. 

“Hi. H-how was your day?” Castiel took a nervous drink of his lemonade.

“Well, I had a shit-ton of work today. But I had a really good lunch.” He grinned, his boyish charm beaming from his green eyes and freckles. 

Castiel had forgotten. He blushed at the memory of the little drawing and note. “How were the -“

“The brownies were friggin’ awesome. Are there more? I shared with Bobby. He’s comin’ over tonight. Wants to meet you.”

Castiel nodded, heading for the kitchen to get Dean another brownie. Dean came in like a whirlwind some nights. This was one of them. Castiel had to blink and concentrate to keep up as Dean talked about the engines he worked on.

“Yes!” Dean took the brownie from the container he opened, eating half in one bite. “Omigod, ‘s so gud.”

Castiel laughed, taking a bite of another one. “They did turn out good. It’s the first time I made a normal batch.”

“What’s a abnormal batch?” Dean licked every finger.

“Hash brownies. It was my gathering go-to at school.”

“Gathering?”

“Yeah. Ya know, a party or get together. A gathering.”

Dean choked on a laugh, tipping his head to look up at the ceiling. “You are such an old man sometimes. ‘Gathering’...and then you toss in a dash of hash!” He elbowed Cas on the arm with a shake of his head. “Come on. Let’s just get this over with. Where’s Sam?”

“In his room. I think he took a nap.” Castiel followed Dean up the steps, knowing this had to be done.

Dean leaned into Sam’s room. “Hey. I’m home. Ready to get started?”

“Yeah.” Sam sat up, rubbing his eyes.

Dean stopped, leaned back into his room with a big grin and said, “Hey! Done with school!”

“Yeah,” Sam grinned.

“You did great this year. You got your report card?”

“Yeah. I’ll dig it out of my backpack.”

“Shit...” Dean frowned. “We always go to the Roadhouse on the last day of school!” A rush of self disappointment poured over him. He had scheduled THIS of all things on a celebration day?! Fuck.

Sam took him by the shoulder, looking up at him. “Stop. We need to do this. Besides, we’re going camping this weekend! I’m good, Dean. Really! Come on. Let’s do this.” Sam gave his brother an encouraging smile, but Castiel could tell the slip had bothered Dean a lot. His jaw tensed and he sighed with a self-deprecating shake.

Dean went into his own room and pulled his shirt off. It happened so fast that Castiel didn’t have any warning. He stared at Dean’s muscular arms, his abs, the way his jeans sat just a tad loose around his hips, the divet that traveled up his abs, separating his ribs and pecs, his dusky nipples, and smirking mouth. Castiel blushed, knowing he was caught. He met Dean’s eyes anyway. Castiel’s mouth twitched only slightly. He crossed his arms over his chest, staring back for all he was worth. Caught or not, he was not backing away. 

Dean’s smirk only flared a bit more, before a fresh t-shirt dropped over his head.

Damn.

As the stare was broken, Castiel turned, staring blankly at the bathroom door. Every now and then, Dean really threw him off. 

Sam stepped into the hall with a big sigh. “What are we doing?” 

Dean walked between the two, much too crowded for the small hallway, everyone shuffling around. Dean opened the door to their parent’s room, walking in quickly.

Sam and Castiel followed him, staring around the room. 

“Bring those boxes in from the hall, Sammy,” Dean said in a quiet, rough voice.

Castiel sat on the edge of the bed, picking up the book from the nightstand. For some reason, this was the object plaguing his thoughts. The half-read book. He opened the book to the marked page.

It was set to start chapter 12. So, she had finished 11 chapters. It bothered him that she wouldn’t know how the book ended.

Dean’s hands enveloped his, shutting the book gently. Castiel looked up at him. “Just...put it in the box. You can go through it another time.” A gentle look of understanding passed between them. 

Castiel nodded. Dean sat a box at his feet.

“Our job tonight is to get stuff boxed up. Box things to keep and things to donate and here’s a trash bag for trash. Cas has Naomi’s nightstand, I’ll take Dad’s, Sam...you can start the dresser.”

Everyone went to work. Castiel laid the book in the box and began the dreaded job of going through his mother’s things. There were three shoeboxes full of pictures of his childhood and his mom’s. He put them in the box with little more than double-checking what they were. There was another small bin of odds and ends. He saw a few postcards from friends, cards he had sent her, and some other papers. He added it to the box. The drawer held a notepad, some receipts, a small basket with nail clippers and nail polish. He put those in the trash. 

“What are we doing with bras and underwear?” Sam asked.

“Trash,” Dean and Castiel answered.

“Hey, Dean?” Sam stood looking down into the top drawer of the dresser. “Dad has a gun in here.”

“Here too,” Dean said, lifting one up.

Castiel watched with intrigue as Dean easily slid the clip out and unloaded it, separating the bullets from the gun. He laid it all on the bed. Sam handed him the other handgun, which Dean also unloaded and laid on the bed.

“I’ll put them in the gun cabinet later,” Dean said quietly, putting a box from the bottom of his dad’s nightstand into his box. “Wow,” he murmured, looking at a picture in his hand. He turned it around. It was a picture of Naomi and John on the front porch.

“I took that,” Sam said, looking at it sadly. “We had a really warm week in March and we were all outside a lot that day.”

Castiel noticed how happy his mom looked. John too.

“Who gets it?” Castiel asked quietly.

“We could frame it and put it in the living room,” Dean said, looking at him solemnly. “You’ll have to come visit when you want to see it.” He smiled as if he were teasing, but it fell quickly.

“That sounds perfect,” Castiel said quietly. It was an invitation of sorts. “I...I could come for Christmas.”

“Yeah?” Sam grinned. “You should! Definitely. I think...it might give us something to...” Sam’s eyes started getting red and tears threatened to fall. “It would give us something to look forward to.” He turned around quickly, shuffling clothes and wiping his cheek off discreetly.

Castiel pulled a silk scarf and small zipper pouch from the drawer, emptying it. He folded the scarf, putting it in the box. He unzipped the pouch, noting it had some jewelry and trinkets inside. He added it to the box, emptying the table.

“Shirts?” Sam asked, holding onto a flannel that must be John’s.

Castiel came over to the dresser. “Why don’t you pick one to keep. We can store or donate the rest.”

Sam nodded, glancing back at Dean. He held the shirt up a little. 

Dean nodded. “You should keep it.” Dean went over to the closet, pulling a leather coat out. “I’m keepin’ this.”

Sam bagged and boxed the rest. Castiel pulled out a Harvard sweatshirt they had bought at the store on campus. She wore it all the time.

Sam grinned. “She wore that a lot.”

“Yeah.” Castiel added it to the box.

They boxed the rest of the clothes for donating. They emptied the closet together. 

“We have a box of baby stuff,” Sam said.

Dean and Castiel looked into it. “This is ours. I remember Sam wearing these. Yeah, I packed this up a long time ago.”

“You kept my baby stuff?” Sam grinned, looking at his brother with a little surprise.

“Yeah,” Dean grinned, pulling out a soft, blue footie pajama set. He smelled it, making Castiel’s heart fill in a way he had never quite felt before. Dean was dear sometimes.

“Is that the one I was wearing?” Sam asked.

“Yeah.” Dean put it back in the box.

Cas gave the brothers a curious look.

“Our mom...” Sam started. “She died in a house fire. Dean carried me out in this.”

Castiel nodded. His mom had told him their mother had died. He didn’t know it was in a fire though. Without thinking, he put a comforting hand on Dean’s shoulder, sliding down his back.

Dean glanced at him, but turned back to the closet to keep emptying it. 

They cleaned out a few things from under the bed and the room was done.

“Who’s this?” Sam asked, holding up a picture. “Cas, this has to be your dad! Oh man, you look alike!”

Castiel took the picture of a man in a suit. It looked very much like him. “Jimmy. I have never seen this picture before.”

“There’s more,” Sam handed him a tin. “It was under the bed.”

Castiel looked at the other two pictures. His mom and dad on their wedding day. A picture of his dad holding him as a baby. There was a marriage certificate, a divorce certificate, and his and his mom’s birth certificates. There was a ring and another photo of an older man and woman. Grandparents, perhaps.

“That’s the first time you’ve seen your dad?” Dean asked.

Castiel pulled the picture of his dad out again. “Yeah. He looks like me.”

Dean looked at the picture and back at him. “Kinda. Not really.” Dean scrunched his mouth, giving the picture a head shake. “You’re way better looking than that guy.”

Cas huffed a laugh, putting the picture back in the tin. “Thanks.”

“Knock, knock.”

Dean turned. “Hey Bobby!”

A man in a flannel shirt with a ball cap and a beard leaned in the doorway. “Wow, you pert’ near have this all done.”

“Yeah. Most of it’s clothes to donate,” Dean said, Sam stopping to give Bobby a quick hug. 

“I brought a few boxes. Brought the camp stove and tent too,” Bobby said.

“Great.” Dean backed up a step. “Oh, Cas, this is Bobby, Bobby, our brother, Cas.”

Relieved for a change of topic, Castiel stepped forward, shaking Bobby’s hand. “Hello! Nice to meet you! My mom always said good things about you.”

Bobby grinned. “I really liked Naomi. Sorry for your loss.”

Castiel nodded, feeling the weight of the loss more keenly today than he had for a week or so. 

“She was a breath of fresh air around here,” Bobby said quietly.

Sam nodded. “She really helped Dad.”

“I’m gonna start runnin’ these to the den,” Dean said, picking up a box.

“Put it in my truck. I’ll take it to the GoodWill. Least I can do to help out,” Bobby added.

Dean nodded, looking a good bit relieved. “That would be great.”

They loaded bags and boxes onto Bobby’s truck. Dean took a box of mementos to his room and Castiel put his in the corner of the living room. They stopped to eat dinner.

Bobby had picked up pizza as well, but none of them were very hungry. Bobby had restocked the fridge with beer, answering Castiel’s question of where the beer always came from. 

Castiel liked Bobby. He expected Bobby to be more like John, knowing the two were friends. But he wasn’t. He was kind and firm. He could make Dean and Sam laugh hard. And he brought a parent vibe that had all three of them a little more on their toes.

“You boys are doin’ a good job around here. The place looks great. Yer dad and yer mom would be real proud of you.”

Silence surrounded the table for a moment.

“You gettin’ rid of any of the bedroom furniture?” Bobby asked.

“All of it,” Dean said, staring down at his pizza. “And the wallpaper.”

“I think the wallpaper suits you, Dean,” Castiel said, his eyes drifting up to take in Dean’s slightly surprised reaction.

Sam nodded with a grin spreading with his full cheeks.

“So funny,” Dean deadpanned.

“We could get you some nice black silk pajamas to go with it.”

Dean stared at him before breaking into a laugh. “No, thanks.”

“Maybe something more on the flannel side.”

Bobby laughed.

“Keep it up!” Dean nodded.

“Some nice slippers.” Cas finally cracked a grin just before Dean swiped a hand at him, the pair jostling the table.

“Don’t make me take back that nice crap I just said,” Bobby grumped, steadying his beer. 

They settled down, Sam still snickering.

“Idjits,” Bobby rolled his eyes, fighting a grin.

Dean turned, ignoring Castiel’s presence completely to focus on Bobby. “Why, you want any of it? The dresser is pretty nice.”

“No, I don’t need anything.”

“I have my own stuff still in storage,” Dean added, sitting back.

“I could use the dresser,” Castiel added. “Unless it bothers you to keep it.”

“No! You can use it,” Dean turned back to him. “You want the bed?”

“No,” Cas frowned. The thought of that just didn’t sit well.

“I don’t blame you,” Dean laughed, taking another bite of pizza.

“I heard you’re gonna go on your first camping trip, Cas.”

Castiel blushed slightly. “I am! I’m so excited.”

Bobby chuckled. “I hope you like it. It sure would make Dean happy to have someone to camp with.”

Dean rolled his eyes.

“We’ll see how much he likes it once he’s bit up with bug bites and realizes just how dark it is at night.”

It was Castiel’s turn to roll his eyes. “I think I will be just fine, thanks.”

Bobby ran the clothes to GoodWill and returned for the bed and nightstands. He took those to donate as well. 

Though the room was empty except for the dresser and a pair of lamps on top of it, Cas was no closer to not sleeping on the couch. He joined Dean in the master bedroom. It was late and from behind, Dean looked worn out as he stood there with his hands in his pockets staring at the floor.

Castiel glanced around the room. “Dean, are you going to be okay in here? You don’t have to do this.” He stepped up to Dean’s side to see his face better. It was blank and soft and he looked so young in that moment. “You could make this a storage room. Or, hey! We could move the office up here and your room could be where the office is!”

Dean finally grinned but his eyes were still dull. “That office is tiny. Nah. It’ll be fine.” A look of defeat crossed his face.

“I could move a bed in with Sam. Or you. Or,” Cas frowned at the growing cold on Dean’s face. “Or I could go.”

Dean sighed. “It’s not you Cas. This problem isn’t because you’re here. The problem is I’m here. And Dad’s not. This was his house. His...” Dean rubbed a hand over his mouth. “This house,” Dean explained, his tone suddenly harsh and his eyes sharp on Cas now, making him take a step back, “this house was nothing but one failure after the next for my dad.” The anger made Dean’s voice dip and shake a tiny bit, giving Cas chills of worry. “My mom died in here, Cas. Right here.” He pointed to the floor where he stood. “Dad...”. A barrage of memories that seemed painful and angering passed through Dean’s mind. “He was so broken after she died. It all just went to hell.”

Cas had no idea what to say to fix Dean’s mood or help heal his past. “So...we redo the bedroom and sell the house.”

The rising panic and frustration on Dean’s face slowly edged back into uncertainty. “What?”

Cas swallowed, knowing Dean was on some sort of brittle ground here. “You could sell it. Live somewhere that is your own.”

Dean cast a look around the room again. “Huh.” He walked to the window and then along the wall. “I don’t know,” he said softly.

Sam ducked into the room. “Hey,” his already tired smile faded as he watched Dean. He stepped into the room, going straight to his brother. “You okay?” He asked softly.

Castiel ducked his head, knowing the moment was private. He headed out of the room as Dean leaned forward, hugging his brother. Castiel didn’t stop until he reached the edge of the backyard. The house felt suffocating in moments like that. He worried for Dean. His stay here was temporary. Sam would probably leave in just over a year. And that left Dean. Alone. It wasn’t fair. But Cas knew Dean well enough already to know that he would crush his own spirit to save his brother. 

He knew by the churn of his stomach and the nerves that crawled up his back, that he would not sleep tonight. He had done it. He had cleaned out his mother’s things. They were in a box in the corner of the living room. He leaned onto the rail of the chain link fence. A box. In the living room. His mom. His thoughts raced. The memory of the look on Dean’s face when he talked about his mother...visions of the room in flames flashed vivid and unwanted through his mind.

He took a deep breath and puked. His eyes watering and gasping, he sat down. He dug a Kleenex out of his pocket and wiped his mouth. His hands shook and he stared at the back of the house, dragging another breath in. He pulled his phone out and called Anna.

No answer.

A tear slid down his cheek. What was he doing here? He swallowed hard and called Gabriel.

“Hey, Cas!”

Castiel’s jaw froze.

“Cas?”

“Hey,” he managed.

He heard the volume go down on Gabe’s TV. “You okay?”

Cas glanced around. “Yeah.” No.

“Are you safe?”

Cas laughed bitterly. He hated himself for being such a fucking burden on his friends. “I’m okay. I’m in the backyard. I cleaned out Mom’s stuff and...” his voice caught, a sob slipping through, “her whole fucking life is in a box.”

A box. He couldn’t get past it.

Understanding the situation better, Gabe relaxed, losing that growing nervous edge he had had. “Oh, Cassie. I’m sorry. But your mom’s life isn’t in a box. You just told me you were in a yard. So, unless the box is out in the yard and you’re in it...”

Cas smiled with frustration, wiping his face off.

“And I bet she has her books all over the house.”

Cas laughed short. “She does.”

“And I damn well know some bachelor with two boys did not have a fully stocked kitchen. Half that shit, the good shit, is probably hers.”

Castiel huffed another laugh, grinning at the memory of her dishes in the cabinets.

“And there’s a little piece right here with me.”

Castiel’s growing amusement froze at the tender thought.

“Got my pillow she got me tucked right under my arm, bro.”

He could see Gabe sitting on the couch, feet propped up and his arm folded over a grey pillow his mom had gotten Gabe for Christmas.

“She’s everywhere, Cassie.”

Fresh, hot tears slid down his cheeks as he nodded. Gabe was generally crass and a partier. The loud one in their group. The one with two girlfriends instead of one. A prankster and a general source of entertainment. But he had little support at home and had learned to be a better person from Anna and himself.

“Thanks, Gabe.”

“Anytime.” The space between them went quiet and Castiel took advantage of it to get himself together.

“Sooo,” Gabe went on, “I’m epi-binging Project Runway.”

Cas huffed at that.

“This stuff is entertainment gold! You really need to watch it. So get this,”

Castiel listened, letting the pressure and stress of the day melt away as Gabe went on about people that meant nothing to him, in situations that were ridiculous.

By the time he got off the phone, he knew a lot more about a show he never intended to watch and his stomach was at peace. He was sitting on the glider when he ended the call and went back inside.

He did hesitate a step at the couch, knowing the box sat off in the corner. He’d save it for when Dean and Sam were out of the house and he had time to really go through it. He wanted to. He just wanted to do it alone. But after the confidence-boosting conversation with Gabe, the thought of it seemed much more doable.


	6. Glamping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean’s version of glamorous-camping (glamping)

Chapter 6: Glamping

 

Castiel shook with apprehension. His mother was angry. He was supposed to do something and she was mad at him for not doing it. She came around the desk, her eyes narrowed and full of malice.

“Mom!” He cowered back into the chair, pulling away from her hands.

“Cas!” The restraining hands on his arms were too big and too strong.

“Cas, it’s okay.” 

Cas opened his eyes with a gasp. “I...” his words froze, the dream slipping quickly from sharp to a foggy memory.

Sam let go of his arms, rubbing his upper arm firmly. “You awake? It was just a dream, man.”

Dean loomed in the living room doorway. When their eyes met, Dean ducked his head, disappearing down the hall.

“I’m fine,” he assured Sam.

Sam backed up, letting Cas sit up, putting his feet on the floor to fully wake and shake the nightmare away.

“I heard you...talking,” Sam explained, his brow knit in worry. “I figured I should wake you up.”

“Thank you,” Cas nodded, running his hands back through his hair. Why was his mom so angry at him? He should have talked to her more often. He should have been a better son.

“Dean still has nightmares too.” Sam was staring at his hands, which fumbled with the strings of his pajama pants. Cas watched as Dean made coffee in the other room.

“It’ll get better,” Sam grinned encouragingly, patting his knee.

The warmth and encouragement made Cas grin. “I know,” he said softly. “But thank you.”

Sam got up, heading into the kitchen. “What time are we leaving?”

“Can’t get into the campsite until noon. So, no sooner than 11:30.”

Cas followed Sam into the kitchen. “What should we pack?”

Dean leaned against the counter, rubbing his face. It appeared his night was long as well. He had a strong urge to hug him. Lean into the little strength he had and let the little both of them had sustain them. But that was inappropriate. As close as he was to Dean already, they certainly weren’t there.

Dean sighed, resting his hands on the countertop behind him. “Charlie’s picking up hot dogs, rolls, and soda. Benny’s bringing dinner for tonight. We are bringing breakfast for tomorrow and Sunday. I’ll pack that stuff around 11:00.” He looked at Cas. “I need to take you shopping for sneakers.”

Cas tipped a grin his way.

“You got swim trunks?”

“No,” Cas answered. 

Dean nodded. “Sneakers and swim trunks.”

“Get marshmallows!” Sam said excitedly. “And bug spray. And sunscreen.” 

Cas grinned as Sam followed Dean out of the kitchen, adding to the shopping list.

 

**************************************************

 

Dean dropped his bag, two other bags, and his end of the cooler when they finally reached the campsite.

“Damn! This is nice!” Sam laughed. “Flat, close to the lake. And there’s already a fire ring!”

“Don’t get too attached. Figured a campsite was a good way to get Cas used to camping. Next time, we head to William Hill.”

Sam chuckled, obviously still amused. Cas dropped his three bags, one being a tent, and looked around like it was the Ritz. And for camping, it pretty much was.

There was a walking path, which they had taken, that led to the site and beyond it to the end of the trail. The site was edged by trees but you could make out campsites on either side. To Dean, it was like public squatting. But he had been raised to camp far from roads. But they could work up to that. He watched Cas walk the edge of the site, looking at everything as if he were here on a class field trip. He shook his head, stretching his back from the load he had hauled up here.

“Are we getting in the lake?” Cas asked, stopping just short of the trail to look out at it.

“Later. We gotta set up camp first,” Sam instructed. “First, we figure out where the tents are going.”

Cas came to Dean’s side as Sam studied the ground with a knowing eye. “We got three tents, right?”

“Yep,” Dean answered, picking up one of the bags that held another tent.

“Who all is coming?” Cas asked.

“Us three, Charlie, Benny, and Kevin might come tomorrow. He’s a friend of Sam’s.”

Cas nodded, hands on his hips, unsure of what to do.

“You can sleep with me, Cas!” Sam offered. “Come on, I’ll teach you how to put the tent up.”

Cas glanced at Dean but crossed the site to stand next to Sam.

They were the same height. Dean liked that Cas so easily shifted from learning from Sam, to looking out for him. He sat back this morning to watch Cas teach Sam how to make brownies. Normal brownies. He was patient and kind with him. And now he was taking direction from Sam just as easily, laughing at his own bumbling.

“Quite the show.”

Dean turned. He had heard someone coming, but hadn’t bothered to tear his eyes away from the pair working on the tent. “Hi, Charlie.”

“Hey. So...you bunking with blue eyes?”

Dean shrugged. “Looks like you’re stuck with me. Sam already claimed him.”

Charlie pouted for two full seconds before grinning. “Any...advancements?”

“With Cas?” Dean whispered as she waved at them both. “No. I mean...we still get along. He’s still living with us. That’s progress, right?”

Charlie clucked her tongue. “Snails pace, but I suppose.”

Dean turned from the pair, seeing Benny lumbering toward them with several bags. “He’s kind of a mess, Charlie. Him and his mom were close. And...” he sighed, “shit, I’m a mess too.”

“Sounds messy. Sometimes messy is pretty good!” She nudged him with her bony elbow and winked, making him grin.

“Hey!” Benny called.

“Hey, Benny,” Dean answered, taking two bags from him to sit on the ground. “Looks like you get a tent to yourself tonight.”

Benny’s light blue eyes glanced to the other three. “Who you bunkin’ with?”

“Me,” Charlie sang, grabbing the tent to put it next to Sam and Cas’.

They busied themselves assembling tents and sitting chairs around the fire.

“I got a few bundles of wood in my truck,” Benny said, sitting in one of the chairs, looking at the empty fire ring.

“Alright. We’ll get ‘em soon,” Dean said, sitting in the chair next to him.

“How’s it been goin’?” Benny asked, his eyes lingering on Sam and Cas moving around inside the tent.

“Good. Cleaned out my dad’s room. Bobby hauled two loads of shit outta there.”

Benny nodded. 

Dean didn’t say anything out loud, but his mind wandered to thoughts of selling the house. What he would do. Where he would go. He could probably put Sam through a year or two of college if he sold the house. But then he’d be back to square one, renting.

“Let’s get paddle boats!” Sam called.

Dean looked up, realizing everyone was looking out at the lake. He joined the line up. “Sounds good. I’m gettin’ hot already.”

“Do we just...leave our things?” Cas asked, giving the site a worried look.

Dean huffed a laugh as Charlie teased him a bit. Cas took it good-naturedly and went into his tent to change from jeans to his new swim trunks.

They spent several hours out on the water, paddling around the lake. He couldn’t help but keep an eye on Cas as much as he did Sam. He watched him like a hawk when he jumped into the water to cool off. At least the guy could swim. He bit his own lip when Cas hoisted himself up onto the little paddle boat in one graceful move, watching the water slide down his back and his muscles bunch and ripple effortlessly.

“You’re drooling,” Charlie smirked, breaking his moment of live action daydreaming. He turned to her with a smirk. Charlie, who could sunburn at the mention of a clear, sunny day, was staring at him with her sunglasses slid to the end of her nose, hat ruffling in the air off the lake, and white, long sleeve swim shirt snuggly covering her pale skin.

“Bite me,” he mumbled back.

“Bite you?” Benny asked, catching only Dean’s comment. He grabbed Dean’s arm as if he were going to bite it. Dean pulled away, laughing and the pair fell into the water. Doused in the cold lake, his attention was back on his friends. Charlie shot at them with her super soaker water gun as they splashed her with huge waves of water.

Another hour after that, they turned the boats in and headed to Benny’s truck, carrying all the wood back to camp.

“Showers are down the road and hang a left,” Benny chuckled, seeing Cas look down at himself with a questioning look.

“I’ll go with you,” Sam offered, grabbing his bag. Cas followed along easily.

“Your brother is quite the cock blocker,” Charlie snickered, getting her own bag from their tent. Dean rolled his eyes. She was right though.

The three of them went for showers while he and Benny got the fire going.

He spent a good part of the evening swaying back and forth between thoughts of Cas being so fucking adorable at learning to eat campfire style, and thinking what a great brotherly addition Cas would be. He didn’t have a good track record for long term relationships, seeing as how he had never attempted one. And the risk of pissing Cas off and losing him as another support for Sam might not be worth it.

Late that night, after the marshmallows were packed away and all the food secured for the night, the group sat around the fire staring at it. Charlie asked Cas a lot of questions, prying information out of him strand by strand. He moved a lot while growing up. He had no close friends from high school. He did talk about Anna and Gabe. Dean had to wonder if Gabe was just a friend or someone Cas hoped to get together with.

“Harvard,” Benny mused, staring into the fire. “I couldn’t afford a hot dog from the cafeteria there. Must really be somethin’.”

Cas watched him a moment, his eyes narrowing slightly. “The hot dogs are two for five dollars with a bag of chips.”

Benny’s eyes hopped up to meet Cas’ across the fire. Amusement drawled his lip. “You really that literal? Or are you just a smart ass?”

Charlie laughed, Dean fighting one.

Cas frowned at him. “What do you mean?”

“Back off Benny,” Sam snapped, surprising Dean. “He is that literal.”

Benny arched a brow and half raised his hands in defense. “Alright Samdog, just feelin’ the guy out.”

Cas looked down at his hands, his brow knit in a nervous frown. “People have told me that before. My mother was the same way.” He stared at the fire again, curling in on himself somewhat.

“It’s adorable,” Dean said, without another second of hesitation. Dean grinned, blushing but not really caring. No one could see it in the campfire anyway. Cas looked at him with surprise, probably blushing as well. Dean held the stare, needing him to know he meant it. Cas sat up a bit more comfortably, grinning shyly.

He looked over at Benny who gave him a knowing little grin. Dean rolled his eyes, looking back at the fire.

“So, what are you gonna be, when Harvard’s done with ya?” Benny asked.

Cas pressed his mouth together in thought before he answered. “My degree will be in biology, with a minor in entomology.”

“Enta-what?” Benny laughed.

Cas smiled good-naturedly at him. “I’m studying bees. I have one more year and then I can hopefully get a job with a good research initiative to promote the health and environment to sustain the world’s honey bee population.”

They all blinked at him for a moment.

“That is so awesome,” Charlie said.

“Wow, I mean...that’s really important work! That’s so awesome!” Sam looked excited enough to jump out of his chair.

Dean and Benny exchanged a look. All he understood was Cas was spending thousands of dollars, or had a big-ass scholarship and was gonna work with bees.

“My great-grandfatha was a beekeeper,” Benny grinned. Cas gave him an appreciative nod and Dean just sat back. He liked Cas. But how the hell did he compete with that? How did he even try to relate to that?

By 1am, everyone was in bed except Dean and Cas. They were the night owls of the group and spent a good hour talking very little. It was not something Dean would say he looked for in a guy, but he really liked that Cas was comfortable just being still and quiet. It was just so easy to be around him. This was not something he found with most people.

 

***************************************************

 

Castiel woke from a dream that slipped his memory the second he was awake. He felt nervous and tired. It was pitch black in the tent and he knew he was going to be awake for a while before he could figure out how to fall asleep again. He sat up, hearing Sam’s slow, even breathing as he slept. He could get on his phone, but that might wake Sam. He really had to pee too. He felt around, putting his shoes on and dug his sweatshirt out of his bag. He moved carefully to not disturb Sam. By the time he got out of the tent, standing to his full height with a stretch, he had to pee pretty bad.

He could see better in the moonlight, making out all the belongings of their campsite. He thought about walking to the bathroom, but figured he better just pee in the woods nearby. It was dark. No one would see him.

He shivered in the spring night air, wishing he had a coat or blanket. He walked over to the fire, which had long since gone out. He stacked up wood like he had watched Dean do. He searched all over but could not find a lighter.

All the moving had warmed him up a good bit, so he sat in one of the chairs and stared at where the fire should be.

 

“I knew I’d find you out here,” Dean was saying, still rubbing his arm to wake him up. Castiel winced at the kink in his neck, rubbing at the sore muscles. 

“You okay? You freakin’ out or anything?” Dean asked.

“I’m fine,” Cas cleared his throat. “I just couldn’t sleep and I built a fire but can’t find the lighter.” His teeth were chattering now.

Dean went to the dry cooler they kept food in. “Keep it in here in case it rains.” He moved quickly, shifting two pieces of wood in Castiel’s structure, then lit it.

Cas wanted to crawl in the ring and cuddle up to the flames. He stood to get as close as he could, rubbing his arms to warm them up. Dean put the lighter back and came to stand next to him.

“It’s so cold,” Cas said, stating the obvious.

“Yeah. Spring nights can get pretty damn cold.” Dean came closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, rubbing his hand up and down Cas’ furthest arm.

Castiel instinctively leaned his head to Dean’s, accepting the warmth readily. “Burr.”

Dean let his head lean to Castiel’s, rubbing even faster. “Yeah. The fire will warm up here soon.”

Castiel’s body began to relax after only a few minutes. His teeth quit chattering and only felt cold where the fire and Dean weren’t warming him.

“I really like camping,” he said softly, staring at the fire.

“Good.” Dean’s rubbing had slowed, but his hand stayed on his shoulder and their heads stayed tucked together.

“I think I’d like it a lot more with less people,” Cas added.

“Yeah? We can do that.”

Traces of the dream he had been having, tickled at the edge of Cas’ mind. His mom. Angry. Stern. White walls. Cold. It was so cold there. She sat behind a desk and she was so angry at him. The memories slipped away again quickly, unable to grasp why she was mad or what else had been happening in the dream.

His mom would have hated camping. Too messy. Too buggy. His thoughts drifted to her grave and the funeral. Fighting off all the thoughts, he thought instead about Dean standing with him. 

“Dean...wh...if you don’t mind me asking...where is your dad buried?”

Dean stiffened slightly. “He was cremated. Sam, Bobby, and I put some of his ashes here at the lake. Some at William Hill. Some just along a stretch of road heading toward Kansas City. The rest are at the cemetery where our mom is.” They stood silent for several moments. “Why?”

Cas stared at the fire. “I wish I would have gotten to do that with Mom. Zachariah insisted she be buried.” He swallowed, not wanting to ruin the moment. “I’m so sorry I didn’t make it to his funeral.”

“S okay,” Dean murmured quietly. 

“I was a mess. I barely remember my mom’s funeral. Gabriel went with me. Took off school and left with me. If he hadn’t been there...I’m not sure I woulda made it to the funeral at all.”

Dean’s arm wrapped a little tighter.

Cas smiled weakly. “He told my uncle he was dick. Just...said it. Like Zachariah meant nothing.” He huffed. “Wish I’da been more with it. I woulda...I just couldn’t get a grip there for a while.”

“You’re doin’ better,” Dean said softly. 

Cas nodded. He was definitely having longer stretches of feeling okay, unlike the entire end of his semester.

They stood for a long time. The sky began to hint at a shade of gray when Dean squeezed his shoulder. “You should try to get some more sleep. Even an hour would help.”

Cas nodded. Before he moved out of Dean’s arm, he snaked his own around Dean’s back, hugging him. “You too.” Dean turned his head, his mouth sliding over his temple. Dean hugged him back, one-armed, murmuring something into his hair. Castiel’s breath caught. Dean had a way of making pieces of himself come alive. 

They let their arms drop, their hands brushing against each other. They stepped away from the warm coals that were left, heading toward their own tents.

Castiel grinned at the way Dean stood, waiting for him to go in his tent first. He unzipped the door slowly and crept in as quietly as possible. As he zipped the door closed, he stopped to watch Dean duck inside his own. He zipped the remaining gap and crawled into his sleeping bag.

 

Several hours later, two of which he slept soundly, Dean showed him how he cooked breakfast on the camp stove. Kevin came to join them. His mom came along to look at the campsite and asked Dean a lot of questions. He answered them all easily enough. With an encouraging nod, he waved as she left. Castiel watched the tiny, spitfire of a mother walk away. Only when she was far from earshot did Kevin sigh loudly in relief. 

“She means well,” Dean laughed.

Charlie gave Kevin a sympathetic half hug. Kevin shook his head, laughing it off. He grabbed his backpack and stepped over to follow Sam.

“Oh,” Sam stared at his tent and looked back at Cas.

“Oh,” Cas answered, understanding immediately.

“OH!” Charlie jumped, letting go of Kevin. “I’ll move my crap in with Benny! Cas you should move your stuff in with Dean so Kevin and Sam can have a tent.”

“Always knew you had a thing for me, Red,” Benny grinned, winking at her.

“Yeah! That’ll happen!” She laughed, smacking his shoulder.

Castiel swung his gaze to Dean, who was standing next to him. Dean’s eyes had lit up and he bit his bottom lip, looking like he wanted to say something funny to Charlie. Instead, he turned to Cas. “Better get your gear.”

Well, that was enough of an invite for him! He headed to his tent without hesitation.

He gathered his things, folding everything into the sleeping bag. Sam ducked his head in the door. “Cas, you don’t mind, do you?”

Cas was already blushing, thinking about sharing such small space with Dean. “I don’t mind at all, Sam.” 

Sam grinned, backing out to let him out. He waited outside of Dean’s tent while Charlie gathered all her things.

“Just two more seconds!” Charlie called.

“Take your time,” Cas grinned.

 

*****************************************************

 

They spent the day relaxing by the fire and taking trips down to the lake. They hiked around the lake in the evening. It was nice to camp this time of year since the bugs weren’t too bad yet and the evenings got cool.

It could hit frost status tonight. The thought made Dean grin to himself. He would have stood with Cas last night until the sun came up if Cas hadn’t been near to nodding off. It felt so good to just hold someone. And Cas often looked like he needed a damn hug.

“C’mere, Cas,” Dean called, seeing he was talking to Charlie. He didn’t trust Charlie to keep her damn mouth shut. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Cas to know he was pretty damn into him. He was pretty sure he knew already. He just didn’t want Charlie pushing him into more than he was ready for.

Cas came to his side. 

“Time to make hot-dogs.” He handed him a stick and a hotdog. “Here, you can get started.”

Cas gave him a slightly lost look, staring at the hotdog and the stick. “What...how do I do this?”

His quizzical blue eyes came back to Dean’s. Dean started to chuckle. Damn. He was so damn cute sometimes! Hair tousled, sun on his skin, wide, ocean blue eyes.

“Dean. It’s not funny.” He pouted slightly.

Dean laughed a little harder, losing his ability to keep his distance. “Cas, you’re so ...” he bit his lip, stopping himself from going any further.

“I’m new at this,” Cas huffed, his eyes narrowing. 

Dean laughed again, glancing away. The only one close enough to hear him was Sam. He leaned a little closer to Cas. “I was gonna say, you’re so damn cute sometimes.” He overlooked Cas’ blush, taking his hand with the hotdog in it. He turned his hand over, bringing the stick closer. “You just...put it in.” He flicked his eyes up to Cas, the pair laughing as Cas stepped back.

“So, I just stick it in the flames?”

“No,” Sam jumped in, stopping him. He directed Cas on where to hold the hotdog to get enough heat to cook it. Dean grinned down at the rest of the hotdogs he was preparing. “Kevin, Sam, come get yours.”

The evening passed slowly and was colder than the night before. The chill drove them to their beds sooner.

Dean crawled into his sleeping bag, extremely aware of every move Cas made. He lay back, trying not to watch him so closely.

When Cas had changed clothes and gotten into his sleeping bag, he stopped, looking toward the flap door. “Benny said he thought it might rain tonight. What happens if it rains?”

“Well, generally the clouds get too full of water and it starts to fall.”

Cas turned to playfully glare at him. 

“And everything gets wet,” Dean grinned.

Cas leaned back onto one hand, still staring at him. “Will we get wet?”

Dean bit back a chuckle, licking his lips. “If you go out of the tent you will.”

Cas looked at the door again. “Won’t the ground get wet?”

“Lay down, man. You won’t get wet,” Dean finally let his chuckle loose. “I have slept through downpours in this thing.”

Cas gave the inner canopy of the tent a curious look as he laid back.

“One time, when me and Sam were little, Dad took us camping...shit, I don’t even remember where we were. Anyway, it poured for two days. We couldn’t start a fire on the second day and it was so fucking miserable.”

“Did you leave?”

“Nope. My dad was a marine. A little bit of rain wasn’t stopping John Winchester.” Dean smirked at the memories of that trip. It had been one of their worst. Their dad got drunk the second night and Dean had to figure out how to feed him and Sam. He made an adventure out of it, keeping Sam preoccupied and entertained, but it had been a shit trip all around.

“I thought the point of camping was to have fun outside,” Cas said quietly, curling onto his side.

Dean huffed. “It is. Unless you’re an ex-marine with a stubborn streak a mile wide.”

Dean yawned. He had not slept well last night. He was too amped up and alert, feeling like he needed to keep an eye on things. After standing at the fire with Cas, he had gone back to bed, but lay there tossing and turning until he heard Benny up a few hours later. He looked over at Cas, snuggled into his sleeping bag, blinking slowly in the lantern light.

“Hey, zip your window shut if it starts raining or you’ll get wet through the screen.”

Cas turned, looking at the semi-circle of a window next to him. “I like the air.”

Dean glanced at his own window next to him. “Yeah. If you scoot over to the middle, you won’t get wet.”

Cas sat up, looking at the space between them. He got out of his bag and shoved the whole thing over a foot, right next to his. Dean grinned as he watched Cas get back in his bag. He settled himself in, wiggling and shoving his pillow around.

“I used to sleep. Never had a problem with it until Mom...”

Dean understood all too well. “I have a movie downloaded onto my phone. Wanna watch it?”

Cas grinned, nodding.

Dean pulled his phone out, scrolling to the download. “It’s some old action movie with Bruce Willis. It was free, so I’m not promising it will be any good.”

They settled closer together as Dean started the movie. He moved a few times to find comfortable ways to hold the phone for both of them to see. Halfway through the movie, Cas unzipped his bag partially and nudged Dean’s arm so he could cuddle against him. Dean grinned, staring down at Cas’ messy hair as he hugged him in closer. With little effort, Dean settled in, Cas’ head on his shoulder.

They both sighed deeply. Dean couldn’t seem to stop his fingers from swirling through Cas’ hair. He didn’t fuss about it, so he kept up a lazy, drifting dance with his fingers.

 

******************************************

 

Cas woke the next morning feeling warm and more rested than he had felt in a long time. He was a bit surprised to find himself half out of his own bag and half inside of Dean’s. He had Dean wrapped in his arms, his head just under his chin. Who knew Dean would like being the little spoon? Or...he had tolerated him encroaching on his sleep space...

He was doubly shocked when Dean tipped his head up, awake and seeming to have been that way.

“Morning,” Dean grinned. Cas could only see the curve of one side of his mouth. But it was definitely a grin.

His entire body flushed and filled with a warm, fuzzy heat. “Good morning. I must have gotten chilly last night,” he said in way of explaining his position. His instinct was to pull away, but Dean was using his arm as a pillow and did not seem in a hurry to move.

He let his eyes close and his limbs relax again. Dean smelled like campfire and pine. He wanted to ask if he was making Dean uncomfortable, that he would move...but Dean seemed quite comfortable and wasn’t making any moves to get up.

“I slept all night,” Dean said softly.

Cas thought about the night. “Me too. All night. I can’t even remember dreaming.”

Silence covered them in the hint of day that seeped through their unzipped windows. Rain pattered softly on the tent and they both drifted off to sleep again.


	7. Almost

Chapter 7: Almost

 

Castiel swept the front porch off as Sam got in a car with his friend Sarah, and they drove away. Dean was at work and he had laundry going from their weekend camping trip.

Camping had been a lot of fun. He wanted to go again. He wanted to go further into the woods, lose himself in nature and enjoy the peace only the outdoors could bring. 

He went inside, suddenly inspired by his weekend in the outdoors, to put together more of his final project. He spent the rest of the morning between his laptop and doing laundry until he left for work.

Working the day shift was better by far than the night shift. It was busier, which made time pass quickly. And so far, he had not been required to take on the slushie machine. 

Dean picked him up from work, and they got home to a delicious smelling dinner. “What smells so damn good?” Dean asked, heading straight for the kitchen.

Castiel followed him. “I put dinner in the crockpot before I left for work.”

Dean turned to him with an incredulous look. “Were you BORN an old man? Or should I be concerned for your health?”

“Keep it up, Winchester,” Cas bantered, stirring the delicious contents. “I could go on strike and quit cooking.”

“That would be a travesty!” Dean put a dramatic hand to his heart as if Cas had stabbed him.

Cas laughed, pulling off his work shirt. “Dinner will be ready in half an hour. How’s that for awesome?”

“That’s fuckin’ marriage material, that’s what that is.” 

The pair exchanged a loaded look. Cas grinned, walking out of the kitchen. Next time Dean hastily proposed marriage in the kitchen, he was going to take him up on the offer. That would throw him off! Cas headed for a quick shower with an eager grin. If feeding Dean was what kept him happy, then he would need to expand his cooking know-how. He showered and headed downstairs to pull his pot roast and trimmings from the crockpot. 

When Dean finished his shower and came to the table, Cas was frowning at his phone. “Sam texted. He wants to stay at Ash’s house tonight.”

Dean pulled his phone out, reading the message on the group chat. “Mm. I don’t know...”

“He left here with Sarah. So...when did he get to Ash’s?”

Dean smirked at him. He called Sam, still staring at Cas with a mischievous glint in his eye.

“Hey Sam,” Dean paced toward the fridge. “You with Ash?” He waited, his back to Cas, one hand going to his hip. “Let me hear him.” He turned, looking at Cas. “Oh...I’ll wait.” He shook his head, mouthing “he’s in the bathroom” with an eye roll, saying he wasn’t buying it. “Thought you were with Sarah.” Dean nodded listening.

Cas poured him and Dean glasses of ice tea, nudging him out from in front of the fridge. It sounded like Sam was trying to pull one over on his brother. He hoped the two weren’t going to fight too bad.

“How ‘bout this,” Dean said sternly, eyes locked at some point across the room, “you have Sarah bring you back home within the next half hour and I don’t ground you for trying to lie to me.”

Cas sat the drinks on the table quietly.

“I know a lie when I hear one or read one, that’s how I know. Get your ass home.” Dean waited as Sam talked, but Cas could tell he had shut down from really listening. “I am not negotiating with you, Sam. Either you come home within half an hour or I will come get you.”

Chills ran up Castiel’s arms. He hoped that tone was never directed at him. It was intimidating to say the least.

Dean hung up the call, his lips pursing as he slid his phone into his pocket. “That shit tried to lie to me.”

Cas watched Dean nervously.

Dean sat in the chair next to him. “I can’t believe he thought he could pull one over on me.” With bitter resentment, he spooned dinner onto his plate.

“I’m sure you never tried anything of the sort,” Cas said softly, not wanting to fight, but Sam was such a good kid.

Dean frowned at him. “I did. And got away with plenty of shit too. But he’s not ending up in the same shit I am. He’s going places. Last thing he needs is a pregnant girlfriend.”

Castiel wanted to argue, but bit his lip instead. He really had no room in any of this. He put two ladles of dinner onto his own plate and began eating quietly. He hoped Sam chose to come home on his own.

Rather than tell Dean how to parent his brother, he thought maybe reminding him of his own youth would help. But Dean clearly saw he and Sam in very different lights. By the now brooding look on Dean’s face, he suspected he held Sam to much different standards than himself, which could go bad so easily if he was not tactful about it. By the way he stuffed food into his mouth right now, he worried that tact was not in the cards for tonight.

Instead, he went for distraction to diffuse him. “Do you like it?”

Dean turned to him, distracted. “Uh...oh, yeah. It’s really good.”

“I think I’ll use more onion next time.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah.”

Cas sighed. He hated confrontations. He could count the number of arguments he and his mother had on one hand that involved raised voices and true anger. He got the impression Winchester arguments could be a lot more often and definitely louder. 

They finished eating, barely exchanging more than a few comments about their work day. Dean kept checking his watch, getting angrier by the minute. The pair worked around each other easily to clean up dinner. 

Cas had just put the leftovers in the fridge when he heard the front door open and slam shut. Dean finished rinsing the dish he was washing, putting the plate in the drainer with a bit of a clatter. He left the kitchen, his heavy footfalls thudding up the steps. Sam’s bedroom was above the kitchen and he could hear the pair arguing. Either they both slammed doors, or Sam slammed his twice. No one came back down immediately, so Cas went to the backyard for some space.

 

He didn’t see Sam until midnight when he came down to eat. He was working on his laptop, researching for his paper, and tried to mind his own business.

Sam sat at the table with his heated up dinner, wearing headphones. Cas couldn’t help himself. He went into the kitchen slowly, giving Sam a shy smile when he looked up.

Sam pulled his headphones down around his neck. “Hey.”

“Hello, Sam. Would you like some buttered bread to go with that?”

Sam hesitated, then nodded.

Happy to help however he could, he made him a piece of bread with butter and brought it over. “Something to drink?”

“That’s okay, Cas. I can get it,” Sam said, starting to get up.

“I got it,” Cas countered, staying his shoulder with his hand. Sam smiled, relaxing even more.

“Was Dean talking shit about me?” Sam asked, taking another bite.

“Not at all.” Cas sat a glass of ice water in front of him and sat at the table with him. 

Sam sighed, taking another big bite. “This is really good.”

Cas grinned, leaning onto the table more relaxed as well. “Thank you.” 

Sam’s fork hovered over his meal as he stared into it. “He overreacts. He’s so freakin’ over protective.”

Cas pressed his mouth together, not wanting to engage in taking sides. “He means well.”

Sam huffed, continuing to eat. “He needs to back off.”

Cas stared down at his hands. “You’re all he has, Sam.” Cas sighed heavily. “So, is Sarah just a friend?”

Sam, dear boy that he was, took the distraction. “I don’t know,” he grinned, looking more excited than Cas had expected. “She’s...she’s so pretty. And smart. She wants to be a vet. She got into a school in Texas. And I think I like her a lot.”

Cas nodded, listening as Sam told him about their day.

Sam sighed when he finished his last bite. “I shoulda just told Dean I was gonna be with her. But he woulda given me a lecture about not getting her pregnant. Like we’re even there! God!”

“Were you planning on staying at her house?” Cas asked.

“No! There was a party...I don’t know. Guess I just wanted to be able to...I don’t know.”

Cas nodded. Sam sighed again. “He assumes I’m sleepin’ around like he would. I’m not like that!”

Cas nodded, taking his dishes to put them in the sink.

“Thanks for dinner. And for listening.” Sam gave him an unsure shrug, then headed for his room again.

Cas leaned against the counter in the quiet kitchen. Dean may have gotten Sam out of more than Sam was willing to admit to. But at least they were both calmer.

 

************************************************

 

Another week passed. The frosty tension between Sam and Dean was gone within a day or so. Castiel made an effort to keep Sam busy. They ran to a nearby park every other day. Dean took him driving in the evenings. And things seemed to settle into a comfortable routine.

Dean came home from work on a Wednesday night, surprising Cas by opening the master bedroom door. Cas was standing on a chair, scraping wallpaper. It had turned into a bigger project than any of them had thought. They all worked on it periodically, but Cas had all day today to get the last of the horrendous black with maroon flowered paper off.

“Damn! Looks great!” Dean grinned.

“This section went much faster,” Cas pointed to where his focus had been all day. “The wall changes here,” he pointed, “and it came off much easier past that point.”

Dean stared at the seam in the wall. As soon as the tension drew Dean’s mouth, Cas realized why there was a seam in the wall at all.

“That’s the original wall. That was all that survived the fire damage.” His eyes traveled the room, not seeing the scraped walls. By the haunted look, he was picturing what he remembered from before.

Cas climbed down from the chair, putting his rag and scraper down from the spots he was spackling. 

“The floor was still here...but it had to be ripped out and replaced.”

Cas stepped a little closer to him, not sure what to say or do.

“She was...there was...there was part of her burned into the carpet and down to the subfloor.”

“Dean,” Cas whispered, laying a hand on his shoulder.

The touch pulled Dean back to the present. He looked at Cas, just slightly less lost than a moment ago. “I’m gonna sell the house.”

Cas nodded. “I’ll help however I can.”

Dean turned, heading out of the room, shaking off whatever memories were haunting him. “I’m gonna change.”

Cas looked at his phone for the first time in quite a while. “Shit. I never made dinner!”

“That’s alright,” Dean called from within his room. “Let’s go out.”

“We could go to the hardware store and pick paint,” Cas offered.

“Good idea.” Cas went to the bathroom, cleaning up from his day so he could eat dinner without the dust of old wallpaper clinging to his hair, skin, and clothes.

“Where’s Sam?” Dean asked.

“His friend Brady’s,” Cas called back. “He’s helping their family get ready for a yard sale.”

The pair met in the hallway, both freshened up and ready to go.

They ate at the Roadhouse and picked an off-white paint color for the room, getting the other supplies they needed as well.

After spending an hour taping off the baseboards, door frames, and window frames, Dean called it a night.

Cas trudged downstairs, looking at the couch with less enthusiasm than normal. He’d give anything to sleep in a bed.

 

****************************************************

 

Thursday started like most days did now. Cas woke to Dean getting ready for work. He made him coffee and packed his lunch. It was all just so easy. No term papers breathing down his neck, no classes to get to, no meetings or events to be drug to. He liked being home. He liked it here. 

Sam was home by noon and not looking too hot. He said he was up too late and felt sick, but Cas knew a hangover when he saw one. He didn’t say anything, continuing with the painting he had started. The bedroom was finished by the time Dean got home.

“Holy shit,” Dean said, eyes roving the room. Castiel looked up from screwing the cover plate of an outlet on.

“Hey.”

“Cas! It’s friggin’ done!” Dean turned in a circle, staring at every wall.

Cas sat back on his butt, looking around the room. “It went pretty quickly once I got started.”

“We should do every room!”

Cas groaned, falling flat on the floor. “Noooo!”

Dean stepped over his legs, “Did all work and no play make Cas a dull boy?”

Cas narrowed his eyes. “If you tickle me, I’m going to stab you.”

Dean laughed. “With what?”

“My screwdriver.” He pointed it up menacingly at Dean.

Dean leaned down and swiped it out of his hand easily. “You aren’t stabbing me with my own screwdriver!” He flipped the screwdriver easily in his hand, holding it like a dagger. “Besides, you’re about as intimidating as a puppy.”

Cas pouted.

“Oh yeah, real intimidating,” Dean smirked.

“You owe me dinner for all this slave labor,” Cas stated, noticing not for the first time how beautifully Dean’s bow legs stretched on and on.

Dean held a hand down to him and Cas reached for it, letting Dean pull him up from the floor. “Rough deal. Dinner with you in exchange for all this? You gotta negotiate better.”

Cas laughed, dusting himself off. He had already taken all the trash from painting out. “I’m hungry. That’s pretty much all that matters to me right now.”

Dean slapped him on the back, steering him out of the room. Once they were in the hall, he slung an arm over his shoulder. “How ‘bout this, I take you out for dinner and then we go shopping for beds. We all need them. You especially. I can’t believe you’re still sleeping on the damn couch.”

Cas rolled his shoulders when Dean dropped his arm off of them. “How about this, you go get dinner while I shower. Then we shop online for beds. I’m beat.”

Dean’s teasing grin softened. “Sounds good. What can I get you, Picasso?”

Cas sighed, leaning against the hallway wall. “Chinese. General Tso’s chicken with an egg roll.”

Dean’s grin resurged. “You got it.” 

Castiel headed downstairs to the dryer to get his clothes out to put on when he was done in the shower. He knew Dean was asking Sam what he wanted. Hopefully Sam had himself squared away and wouldn’t tip Dean off that he had been drinking. He was going to talk to Sam about it tomorrow, when Dean wasn’t around.

After Chinese, Cas was feeling more and more exhausted. He could feel the burn of using muscles he didn’t normally use. 

Sam cleaned up dinner while Dean and Cas headed to the office to look on the computer.

Dean sat in the chair while Cas moved from the corner of the desk to standing to leaning. “There’s a sale,” he pointed, yawning.

Dean looked up at him over his shoulder. “Let’s look on my laptop. I’m not making you stand while we do this.”

Cas nodded, following him upstairs to his room. Dean’s room looked like he still had not quite moved in. Boxes still stood stacked in one corner and the decor reminded him of a freshman’s dorm room. He grinned at the band posters as Dean unplugged his laptop and sat on the bed, leaning against the wall it was next to.

Hesitantly, Cas sat on the bed. Dean patted the spot next to him. “C’mere,” he said distractedly, looking at his screen.

Cas scooted back onto the bed, sitting next to him. Neither of them had said anything about the night they slept together in the tent. Not that Cas hadn’t thought about it. Every night. It just seemed like neither of them were really ready to talk about it. Cas suspected Dean didn’t really like having ‘talks’ and Cas considered himself terrible at them...so...no talk.

“Look, buy one set, get the other bed half off,” Dean pointed. 

“That’s a good deal,” Cas said quietly, looking at the prices.

“Hey! Partying without me?” Sam grinned from the door.

“C’mere,” Dean grinned. “There’s some summer sales.”

Sam sat on the other side of Dean, staring at the screen with them.

“You should get a king size,” Sam said excitedly.

“You should get a queen, Samantha. You outgrew your twin two years ago,” Dean countered.

“I’ll just take this one,” Cas said, scooting down a little further. 

“This thing is as old as the hills. I’m getting you a new one.”

“Trust me, this one is more than adequate,” Cas sighed.

Dean pursed his lips, looking at him. “You might as well pick what you want. Or I’m ordering for you.”

“Dean,” Cas sighed. “You and Sam need them. I’ll be fine with this.”

“Damn. Kings are expensive,” Sam noted.

“I’m using settlement money. It’s not our fault we all need beds. This qualifies.”

Sam grinned. “That’s good. And you’re right. We do deserve it.”

 

***********************************************************

 

By the time Dean clicked ‘checkout’, they each had a new bed headed to the house, to be delivered in two days. Sam was excited, talking about how he wanted to upgrade a few more things in his room. Cas was snoozing away on his shoulder. And Dean was content to leave him there.

After ordering sheets and comforters for the beds on Amazon, also arriving in two days, Sam sat up, looking at Cas. “He has to be sick of sleeping on a couch.”

Dean tipped his head slightly. “Yeah. Won’t be long.”

Sam smirked. “You might as well let him sleep here.”

Dean rolled his eyes, shutting his laptop. 

Sam studied him a little closer. “You like him, don’t you.”

“Yeah,” Dean scoffed.

Sam arched an eyebrow, telling him he didn’t fool him. He always was really damn observant. 

“I don’t know,” Dean sighed. “Yeah. It’s just...I don’t know. He’s supposed to be like our brother. Kinda...makes it weird.”

Sam scooted to the edge of the bed. “Well, he’s not our brother. So...if you like him like that, you should let him know.”

Dean frowned. Sam was so annoyingly mature sometimes. He just didn’t think Cas was ready for something like that. He was eating better. He hadn’t heard him throw up in a long time. He looked better, especially after getting some sun on the camping trip. He didn’t look lost, like he always did when he first got here. All these things were good. And he didn’t want to mess any of that up for Cas.

“Night,” Sam waved, walking out.

“Night,” Dean answered quietly. 

He blew a long, slow breath out, watching the top of Cas’ head for a sign of what to do. He sat the laptop aside and slipped an arm behind Cas’ back to turn him so his head went on the pillow.

The movement was enough to wake him. His eyes blinked a few times and a frown drew softly across his lips. “I should go,” he mumbled.

He should. But...why? “Just sleep here, Cas. Just...stay.”

Cas turned his head, his sleepy eyes drifting open and shut. “You sure?”

Dean grinned. “I’m sure.” He moved so Cas could get his bottom half under the blankets. Now that he had him settled, he wasn’t sure if he had given his bed to Cas, or asked him to share it. He got off the bed, opening his jeans slowly. He could go down to the couch and let Cas stretch out and get a good night’s sleep. He slid his jeans off, tossing them to the hamper.

“You aren’t leaving, are you?” Cas asked, slightly muffled by the blankets and his tiredness.

Well damn. His chest contracted at a note of loneliness in Cas’ voice. “You sure?”

Cas grinned, pulling the cover back. “Please.”

Dean climbed in. His bed was only a double. Bigger than a twin, barely. And this time, there was no sleeping bags keeping them separated. He turned over, seeing Cas was a bit more awake now. “You aren’t going to wake up and freak out, are you?”

Cas tipped his chin up, looking at him. Damn, no one had ever landed such a soulful stare at him like Cas did. 

“It isn’t the first time we’ve slept together.”

Dean chuckled. “No need to get dirty about it.”

Cas grinned, turned over and pushed back closer to him. “I wasn’t being dirty.”

Dean bit his lip, hoping he had not offended him.

“If I was being dirty, you would know it.”

A laugh caught Dean off guard, making him bite his lip again. His arm touched down several times tentatively, finally staying put loosely wrapped around his waist. “Good ta know.”

He felt Cas settle as the first few minutes passed by. Dean, feeling a bit braver, scooted closer, lining himself up along Cas’ tall frame. He closed his eyes, nuzzling his chin to rest softly against Cas’ back, his nose so close to Cas’ neck that he could smell his shampoo and body wash. “Shoulda done this a long time ago.”

Cas shivered gently, making a soft sound that Dean was going to interpret as an agreement. He grinned at how his breath had made him shiver. “Night, Cas.”

“Goodnight, Dean,” Cas answered softly, collecting his forearm against his chest.

 

************************************************

 

Castiel woke to blaring guitar, drums, and someone scream/singing, “Pour some sugar on me, come on fire me up. Pour some sugar on me, Can’t get enough. I’m hot -”. His world teetered as the alarm was turned off.

His eyes opened to the sight of Dean’s arm coming back around his shoulders. His head coming back to the dent in his pillow, lining their noses up close enough to touch. Dean pulled him in tighter, making Cas duck his chin to avoid being pulled mouth to mouth with him. Their legs were entwined and Cas’ arm slid back to where it seemed to have been parked for quite some time, which was around Dean’s middle.

Dean’s chin slid into his hair, touching down on top of his head and he sighed deeply. He knew he had fallen asleep in here. He knew he felt warm and more comfortable than normal all night long. He grinned, adjusting one leg slightly. Damn, it felt good in here. So good. 

Just as he started to drift off, Dean’s alarm went off again, a loud, noisy song he didn’t know. He groaned as Dean moved his arm, chest and head to hit the snooze again. 

“I don’t wanna get up,” Dean mumbled, coming right back to where he had been.

Cas chuckled at the grouch Dean could be. He had never witnessed a normal morning for Dean at this stage of it. He swept his hand along Dean’s back. “When was the last time you took time off?”

Dean huffed. “Day you came. Or...your first day here. Took a half day.”

Cas lifted his head, pulling back slightly. Dean was frowning now and following his body inch for inch.

“So, call off,” Cas said quietly, watching Dean’s face wake up. His frown softened and his squeezed-shut eyes relaxed, still staying closed. 

Cas, off center now and feeling just shy of uncomfortable, leaned back further until he was flat on his back. Dean followed him, scrunching down and shuffling his legs so they were still entwined. Dean’s head came to rest on his shoulder, Cas’ arm wrapped around him. 

Though Cas was pretty-well awake now, Dean seemed determined to cling and bury his head in Cas’ chest. He chuckled softly, his hand coming up to card through Dean’s hair. How could he feel so comfortable doing something he had never done before? His grin spread as he blinked up at the ceiling. 

Dean growled and groaned when his alarm went off for the third time. He clung slightly closer, unwilling to even turn it off this time.

“Dean,” Cas laughed. “Either call off or get up.”

“Uuuhhh!” Dean pushed over, turning his alarm off. He yawned and turned back, his eyes open now. He crumpled back onto Cas. “I sleep way better when you’re here.”

Cas grinned, turning his chin to touch against Dean’s forehead. He felt the silky hairs in his hand, marveling at the blonde strands caught in the morning sun. For as brown as Dean’s hair was, there were so many blonde hairs nestled amongst them. “Me too,” he agreed softly.

Minutes ticked by. He knew Dean was awake. His hands moved every so often, caressing across his chest or toying with his t-shirt. 

Cas drug the hand not combing through Dean’s hair, over his arm, settling onto his shoulder. “Thanks for letting me sleep here.”

Dean pushed up onto one elbow, looking down at him. “Thanks for not freaking out.”

Cas blushed under his close stare. He wanted to say something sweet. Something caring. Something that would bring Dean’s easy grin. Something that would end in a kiss. He was not freaking out. He liked Dean. More and more. He was finding it harder to be away from him. And he was pretty sure Dean was feeling the same way. But if he messed things up...he would lose the only bit of family he had left. And he did feel like Sam and Dean were family. “You’re going to be late,” he whispered, searching Dean’s green eyes with wonder. In the mornings they were their greenest.

Dean jerked slightly, looking at his clock. “Shit!” He jumped out of bed. “I am gonna be late!”

Cas sat up, hating himself for ruining a moment that had so much potential. He slid out of the bed and headed out of Dean’s room. “I’ll start the coffee.”

Cas went downstairs quickly, busying himself with the coffee pot and putting together lunch. By the time Dean came down the steps, Cas was rushing up the hall to meet him at the front door. He handed him a small cooler. “There’s lunch in here for you and Bobby. Figured it would make up for the few minutes late you’re going to be.”

Dean grinned, taking the cooler.

“Here’s your coffee and your keys. Have a good day.”

“You too! Thanks, Cas.” Dean froze, staring at him for the briefest of moments. His eyes dropped to his mouth and he licked his lips, biting the lower one. He seemed to be fighting something in his head but stepped backwards toward the door. “Pick you up from work?”

Cas nodded. It all seemed so natural. How was that even possible? Had Dean leaned even halfway, Cas would have met him with a kiss. Nothing spectacular. A goodbye kiss. It seemed to be all that was missing between them at this point.

Dean stepped backwards again, his eyes dropping to the floor before meeting his one last time. “Bye.”

“Bye,” Cas waved. Damnit. This was becoming a more frequent thing. And what exactly was stopping him?

He deflated slightly as the door closed. He watched as Dean hesitated outside the door again, but soon left.

A blush flushed over his face. Was Dean feeling all this too? Or was he just lonely and latching onto Dean because he was kind and always so close by? 

He watched at the window as the Impala rumbled to a start and left. He sighed, heading to the kitchen. He pulled his mug out of the drainer, staring at the angel wing on it. “Morning, Mom.” He wondered what she would think about this. Would the same thing be happening if he were staying in the ‘spare’ room, with his mother and John across the hall, Dean living in an apartment across town? His mom had been so excited for him to meet Dean and Sam. She ‘just knew they would all get along so well’. He smirked as he filled the mug. She might not have been too keen on him sleeping with his ‘brother’.

He leaned against the counter, stirring in creamer. Dean was not his brother. And Dean seemed just as eager to take an experimental step toward something more. 

“We going for a run?” Sam asked, startling him so hard that coffee sloshed onto the counter.

“Uh, yeah! I just need to change.”

Sam nodded, getting milk and a banana while Cas cleaned up the mess he had just made.

“Did you...” Sam grinned, staring at his banana as he peeled it, “did you sleep with Dean?”

Cas froze, dripping paper towel in hand. He turned, frowning with some worry. “I did. But we only slept. The couch is...”

Sam snickered, barely glancing at him. He nodded, but Cas was not sure Sam believed him. 

“Is that...okay?” Cas asked slowly.

Sam shrugged a shoulder, turning toward the living room. “You guys are adults. Mostly.”

Cas threw the paper towels away, taking a drink of his coffee. He followed Sam into the living room. “Sam, does that bother you? I mean...if Dean and I would...” he sighed. He was not good at this sort of thing.

Sam took a bite of his banana. “No. I mean...it’s kinda weird. I sorta think of you as a brother, ya know? I mean, I know we haven’t known each other long, but you just kinda fit right in.” Sam frowned harder, not meeting his eyes. “So, are you gonna come back here on breaks? Or...next summer? Like...how’s this gonna work?” His brown eyes finally met Cas’.

“Sam,” Cas stepped closer to him. “If I am welcome here, I will come visit as often as I can. Every chance I get.”

“Like, Thanksgiving?” Sam asked.

Cas sighed. “We only get four days, including the weekend for thanksgiving. But I would definitely be back for Christmas. Spring break. And I would do my very best to be here for your graduation.”

Sam’s shoulders relaxed. He nodded, the wrinkle between his brows softening. He twitched a smile, still not saying anything. “That would be good. I want you to come. As often as you can.”

Cas relaxed as well. “Me too. For both of you.” He took another drink of his coffee. “I’ll be ready in a few minutes.”

 

*******************************************************

 

Dean parked his car at the Gas-N-Sip, pulling his ringing phone out of his pocket. “What’s up, Charlie?”

“Nothin’ much. You?”

“Just pickin’ up Cas from work.”

She sighed. “You gettin’ anywhere with him yet?”

Dean watched as Cas stepped out of the door in his white button-up and blue work vest. Damn, he was handsome.

“You mean, am I getting in his pants? No, Charlie.”

“Don’t give me that ‘brother’ shit, Dean. I have NEVER seen you take so long on an approach before!”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Don’t you have something better to worry about?”

“Nope. I’m more concerned with my bff who usually snags who he wants in point two of a second. Now you’re at a stand-still and I can’t figure out why!”

Dean sighed. “Because...”

“That’s what you keep saying.” 

Dean grinned at Cas as he got in the car. He didn’t make a move to start it, not willing to risk putting Miss Spitfire on speaker.

“And I think I figured it out.”

“Yeah,” Dean smirked. “Enlighten me.”

“Because it’s important.” She stopped suddenly, letting the words just sit there. Dean stared ahead. “It’s important,” she went on calmly, “because it’s a big deal. Am I right?”

Dean grit his jaw. Maybe. “I don’t know,” he said, sounding defensive even to himself.

“He’s important to you and you don’t want to mess it up. It’s just like when Sally met Harry. She kept him as a close friend until Harry finally wore her down and made her see that HE, her best friend, was really the one!”

Dean frowned. “Really? All the shit we watch on TV. All the movies and all the shows. You go for ‘When Harry Met Sally’? That’s weak Bradbury.”

“I am so damn right though, aren’t I?”

“Cas is here, so I’m gonna go.” He started the car, glancing at Cas patiently waiting next to him.

“He’s there? Put me on speaker!”

“Nope.”

“Dean! Put me on speaker! I want to say hi!”

“Charlie says hi,” Dean said in way of pacifying her.

“Hello, Charlie.” To Dean, he grinned a little further. “You might as well put her on speaker. I can hear her anyway.”

Dean froze for a second, wondering what all he had heard. Cas fumbled with his seatbelt, not giving him any clue as to what he heard or what he thought about what he heard. 

Mental note: Kick Charlie’s ass.

“Charles,” Dean said sternly, using the nickname he ONLY used when he really needed her to focus or behave, “I’m putting you on speaker.” He rolled his eyes when he heard her giggle and clap. He put her on speaker and put the phone on the seat next to him.

“Hi, Cas!”

“Hello, Charlie,” Cas said with a patient grin.

“How was work?” She asked, sounding too bubbly to be just asking about work.

“It was busy. And...lottery tickets are complicated.” He frowned, staring out the windshield as if really thinking about something, making Dean grin. “People have a strange preference for numbers. I mean, if you played the same numbers ten times, wouldn’t you want to change them to better your odds?”

Dean and Charlie both chuckled at that.

“And I spilled ketchup on myself while trying to fill the machine.”

“Wow. Rough day!” Charlie sighed. “But I bet you still look like a million bucks!”

“I look like a tired convenience store worker,” Cas assured her, side-eyeing the phone.

“He looks dashing as always, doesn’t he, Dean,” Charlie countered.

Dean fumbled for the phone.

“Dean, don’t be rude! Doesn’t he always look nice!”

At the traffic light, Dean stopped a little more sharply than he meant to, still fumbling for the phone. 

His hand brushed against Cas’, who had picked up his phone, taking it. 

“Apparently Dean thinks I look as tired and haggard as I feel.”

Dean’s jaw dropped, staring at the teasing grin on Cas’ face. “I do not!”

“Dean,” Charlie chastised, “now you’re just being mean.”

“I am not being mean! Cas, you look just as good as you always do!”

Cas gave him a quizzical look. “I’m not sure that’s a compliment.”

“That was pathetic,” Charlie chimed.

Dean clicked his jaw shut, knowing the pair were getting him riled up for no good reason. He shook his head at Cas. Fine. “You look good, Cas. Not as good as when you wear the darker jeans, and definitely not as hot as you look in your swim trunks.”

The car behind them beeped.

Dean snapped back into driving mode, pulling through the intersection.

“Aaawww! See! I knew you looked good, tired or not!” Charlie insisted.

“Well thank you, Charlie. And you are beautiful. And Dean is quite handsome as well.”

“Alright, alright,” Dean growled. “We’re all fucking beautiful. You two are not allowed to team up. Not okay. At all.”

Cas and Charlie both chuckled.

“Okay, I’m hanging up now Charlie,” Cas grinned, his voice dropping and cracking. “You’re picking on Dean and making him uncomfortable.”

“Bye, Charlie!” Dean snatched the phone.

“But I’m -”

“Yeah, love you too,” Dean talked over her, clicking off the phone. He sighed, tossing the phone down again. “God. She’s...”

Cas chuckled.

“Yeah,” Dean muttered, pulling along the curb in front of his house.

Cas bit his lips, fighting a smile as he got out of the car. Dean watched him walk inside as he got out of the car slowly. He leaned against his baby. After sleeping with Cas last night and that ridiculous call from Charlie, he was finding it harder to stay...just platonic. And at this point, Cas had to at least suspect.

His phone rang and he glared at it. Seeing it was Benny, the glare eased. He swiped his screen, bringing it to his ear. “Hey, Benny.”

“Hey, brotha! Sam texted me today and said Cas’ birthday is next week. He asked me to get some liquor.”

“Really?” Dean frowned. “I forgot his birthday was coming.” Dean stared at the house. Cas was turning 21. It was pretty standard to have a drink. But Cas was still pretty easily tipped to the depressed zone of thought. “I don’t know.”

“Should we throw a party?” Benny asked.

“No...he’s not the party type. He’s more the...quiet type.”

Benny chuckled. “Seems to me like he’s your type.”

“Not you too,” Dean sighed.

“Lemme guess, Charlie on your case? I told her to settle down. She just gets so damn excited.”

“Yeah. Like a puppy that pees on you. It’s cute but...”

Benny laughed. “Hey, I got an idea. The kid don’t have any family, besides you guys, right?”

“Right.”

“So, we each take a day and do something with him. It’ll be a birthday week.”

Dean grinned. Cas would hate all the attention. But it would be so good for him. “Yeah? That’d be kinda cool!”

“Sam, Charlie, me, and you. That’s four days to celebrate.”

Dean paced along the side of his car, grinning. “Okay. His actual birthday is on Wednesday. So, Sam can handle that day and I’ll get us dinner. Then Charlie, then you, and then I can get Saturday.”

“Sounds like a plan. I’m takin’ him out for a drink Friday night, leave you children at home.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “January can’t come quick enough. Everything will be so much fucking easier when I’m 21.”

“Yeah. Well, Sam’s a good kid. Everythin’ll be alright.”

Dean’s grin sobered. “Don’t get him alcohol unless I okay it first. He’s a good kid, but he’s...pushing.”

“I get it.”

“Thanks, Benny. This is a good idea.”

“He seems like a great guy. I was worried at first, since he just showed up like he did. But he seems like a real good person. We’ll just have a few drinks. I’ll make sure he doesn’t get sick enough that he can’t enjoy his Saturday with you.” There was a teasing note to Benny’s words. 

Dean shook his head with a smirk. “I appreciate that. Smart ass. And don’t be hitting on him either.”

Benny laughed hard this time. “You pretty much claimed him the second his sensible shoes hit town, brotha! I would neva get between Dean Winchester and his mark!”

Dean rolled his eyes. “He’s not a mark.”

“Shoot,” Benny scoffed. “Maybe YOU’RE the mark and that blue-eyed bastard marched in here to get you!”

“Shut up already!” Dean laughed. “You need to find a new hobby. I know I’m fascinating and all, but seriously, you and Charlie need to move on!” 

They both laughed and Dean ended the call. He tapped the phone against his mouth. Cas had been looking forward to a special birthday. Something about going on a bar crawl with his mom. Well, he couldn’t take him to a bar. But he certainly could make him crawl.


	8. Happy Birthday, Castiel!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang keep Cas distracted and entertained for his special day :)

Chapter 8. Happy Birthday, Castiel

 

Tuesday night was already here. Dean and Sam had made plans to keep Cas busy all week long. With all their talk and planning, Charlie had talked him into having a small party for Cas, adding a fifth day of celebrating. He already told Cas he was not cooking all week. Cas had argued that it was not a problem and that he kinda liked it, so Dean relented, but only allowed him to cook today to get things started. He snuck a cake home before picking him up from work, and Sam was already making the sides to go along with the pulled pork Cas had in the crockpot. 

By the time he got home with him, Sam had the kitchen ready. He had pulled the leaves out that made the table bigger, to accommodate his and Sam’s laptops. Bobby, Charlie and Benny all showed up within minutes of them getting home.

When Cas came downstairs, changed into shorts and a t-shirt, everyone crowded him with hugs and ‘happy birthdays’.

His cheeks were pink, and he stopped in his tracks when he got to the kitchen, seeing the laptops on the table open.

“Happy Birthday, Cassie!” Gabe shouted from one.

“Happy Birthday!” Anna yelled from the other.

“Anna! Gabe!” Cas covered his mouth with a hand. “What are you -, how did you do this?”

Sam hugged him from behind, ruffling his hair. “It’s your birthday! We wanted everyone to be here!”

Cas turned, hugging Sam, the shock slipping more to feeling overwhelmed. His eyes met Dean’s and Dean practically took Cas from his brother, hugging him. “I want it to be a good birthday,” Dean said quietly.

Cas squeezed him harder, a hand wiping his face. Dean buried his nose a little tighter into Cas, rocking him. “We’re gonna have fun, alright! We’re gonna make it a good thing.”

Cas nodded into his shoulder, pulling back to look at him. Strained emotions flitted through his blue eyes. “I don’t know what to say.”

Dean mustered his courage, wiping Cas’ damp cheeks off with the palms of his hands, Cas wiping after him. They stepped apart, Cas giving the others an apologetic grin. “Thank you, everyone!”

What they had missed while they were hugging, was Gabe, Benny, and Bobby watching the pair with knowing eyes. Gabe’s a bit more suspicious than the others. Anna and Charlie were holding back squeals, and Sam was watching it all with a smirk.

“Let’s eat! I’m starved!” Dean called, herding everyone to the table.

“Is that manwich?” Gabe asked, his face looming closely on his screen.

“Pulled pork,” Sam grinned, showing Gabe his thick sandwich.

“Bastards!” Gabe complained, sitting back with a smirk. “Nice view though.”

Sam arched an eyebrow at him.

“Seriously?” Dean snapped, glaring at Gabe. “He’s not legal. Or gay. Shop elsewhere.”

Gabriel laughed.

“Gabriel,” Cas and Anna scolded. “Don’t make me close the laptop,” Cas went on.

“I’ll be good,” Gabe laughed, waving Cas to come closer.

Cas leaned in. 

“I miss you, Cassie. Looks like you got some good back-up for when I’m not around though.”

Cas grinned, nodding.

Dean walked to the other side of the table, trying not to listen in. He got Benny and Bobby drinks and squeezed in next to Charlie, who was asking Anna a million questions about Harvard, Massachusetts, and Cas.

It was a loud and boisterous dinner. They made him wear a paper hat and sung to him before letting him blow the candles out.

Cas ate. He had cake. And he laughed a lot. It made him happy that Cas seemed better.

“Dean,” Charlie nudged his elbow with hers. He pulled his eyes from watching Benny and Bobby tell Cas about Benny’s grandfather and a catastrophe he had while bee-keeping.

“Yeah?”

“I’m gonna go,” he heard Anna say. His eyes darted to the screen, mostly facing Charlie now. “I just wanted to tell you that...you guys are so good for Cas. I was really worried about him when he left. Like, really worried.”

Dean glanced at Cas again, seeing him laugh at Benny’s story. “I think he’s doing better for sure. But I’m still keeping an eye on him.”

She gave him a wobbly grin. “He’s so smart. And so damn...Cas-like! I was worried he’d get there and get rejected or I don’t know. I can’t tell you how relieved I am that he likes you guys so much.”

For fear of seeing her start crying, Dean smirked. “Oh yeah? Who’s his favorite? I won’t tell.”

She laughed, caught off guard. “You, obviously.”

Dean said goodbye to her and started gathering dishes. Everyone pitched in, except Cas, who was not allowed. They sent him (carrying Gabe) into the living room.

“That went really great,” Charlie grinned, side hugging him. “I think it really took his mind off...his mom not being here.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah. The whole thing was kinda Benny’s idea. So far, so good.”

Charlie’s jaw dropped, turning to Benny and slapping his shoulder. “You big softie!”

“Like a Cajun teddy bear,” Benny grinned.

 

It was another hour before the house was quiet and Dean was getting ready for bed. He pulled the covers back on his new bed. The soft cotton sheets were blissful. He lay back, looking around the room. The freshly painted walls were blank, stealing some of his joy. His bed was large and comfortable. But the room was still his dad’s. The memories of his dad’s dark days, sitting in here for hours, staring out the window blankly, haunted him. His dad had taken their mother’s death hard. So hard, Dean used to be scared to come in here. He’d sit at the doorway, trying to entice his father out of the room with food. Or Sam. Or to play with him.

He wiped a hand down his face, shaking the memories away. Thursday, when Charlie was keeping Cas busy, he was going to talk to Sam about selling the house. This place...this room could swallow him, if he let it. And he wasn’t letting that happen.

“Dean.”

Dean’s eyes snapped to the doorway. Cas leaned in the doorway. “I just wanted to say thank you. For tonight. I had fun.”

Dean got up, going to him. “Good. I kinda booked you for the week. Help keep you busy.”

Cas frowned. “That is not necessary. I am okay.”

“I know,” Dean smiled gently, stopping himself from reaching out to touch him. “It was Benny’s idea...and...” he shrugged, “I think it’s pretty awesome.”

Cas grinned, glancing at him shyly. He nodded, accepting their help. “Night, Dean.”

“Night.” 

He watched Cas head to his room, what still felt like Dean’s room. Cas had his own bed now. A nice, comfy double. They had slept in their own beds since they were delivered, and he was disappointed to find it had separated them and now Dean was stuck in the big room. Alone.

Cas gave him one last grin as he shut the bedroom door.

 

******************************************************************

 

Castiel sat on the new bed Dean had bought. It was comfortable. It was wonderful. By far the most comfortable bed he could call his.

Not that it helped him sleep.

He didn’t sleep. Not much anyway.

But he was making headway on his paper. He had hours to do research. Hours to write. And he was making a good bit of progress. He had Dean’s things away. Some of them, Dean had moved into the master bedroom. But nothing felt as good as the night he had slept with Dean in this very room.

He didn’t want to worry Dean, so he kept the door closed and worked quietly.

 

************************************

 

Sam was in the kitchen with a bear-like yawn, even before Dean. “You’re up early,” Cas managed between yawns. 

“Busy day planned,” Sam grinned. “Aaaand, Dean’s leaving us the car for the day.”

Cas nodded. His birthday. And the distractions from Dean and Sam. He blew out a breath. He could do this. He could hang in there and make it through the day.

Dean came into the kitchen. “Dammit. I wanted to get up early and make you lunch for once.”

Cas turned, seeing frustrated disappointment furrow Dean’s brow. 

“Well apparently,” he grinned, bumping Dean’s elbow with his hand, “I have a car for the day. So, Sam and I will probably go out for lunch. But thank you.”

Dean nodded, heading toward the door to leave.

Cas grabbed his coffee mug, following him through the living room and into the small foyer. “You forgot your coffee.”

Dean turned, with a smirk, stopping Cas in his tracks suddenly. He took the mug from his hand, kissing him.

It was so quick and so natural that Cas kissed him back easily. He was quickly shocked, gasping softly. Dean stared at him with a wide grin. He winked and said, “Have a good day.”

There was no hesitation as he left today, tossing a winning smile over his shoulder as he pulled the door shut.

Cas laughed. He licked his lips, biting on the lower one gently. Dean had just kissed him. It was quick and soft and no accident. Stolen with a grin. It was not romantic per se, but the effects were warming him from the inside to the tips of his fingers. He wandered back into the kitchen in a bit of a dreamy daze.

 

The rest of Wednesday morning was spent at the lake with Sam. They ran around the lake once and took paddle boats out on the water. He was proud to admit that he and Sam had the same nerdy sense of humor. He told him about his research project about improving the honeybee population and he endured it rather well.

They showered at home and left again to get lunch, stop at the library, and then head a town over to go to a huge thrift shop. Cas was low on clothes, only having traveled with one bag.

“Here ya go,” Sam grinned, handing Cas a Metallica t-shirt.

“I don’t listen to Metallica,” Cas frowned.

“I heard you humming it in the kitchen yesterday,” Sam laughed. “Besides, Dean will love it.”

Cas blushed. He put the shirt in his cart.

“That’s what I thought,” Sam said smugly, heading over to a rack of DVD’s. 

Cas blushed a little harder, not arguing. Then the memory of that brief kiss colored his cheeks anew. He pulled a shirt off the rack, holding it up for Sam. “You should get this one.”

Sam squinted across the store at it. He frowned, looking confused. Cas chuckled. “It’s Latin. It means, ‘anything in Latin sounds profound’.”

A big grin spread across Sam’s face. “That’s pretty funny!”

“It’ll be more than funny next year at this time. I’m getting it for you.” He put it in the cart and kept looking.

They left with six new shirts for Cas, two pairs of shorts, and a shirt, three DVD’s, and a picture for Sam. Feeling like they had scored some excellent items, they hit two more thrift shops and didn’t get home until dinner time. 

They lugged their bags inside, piling the clothes by the washer.

“Looks like you two had fun...thrift shopping? Really?” Dean laughed.

“You won’t be laughing when you see some of the cool shit Cas got you!” Sam grinned back.

“You bought me stuff?” Dean asked curiously, peeking in a bag.

“Stuff for your room. I got some things too. And some movies,” Sam went on, heading back to the front door for the rest of the bags.

“So, you guys had a good day, huh?” Dean asked.

“We had a great day!” Cas grinned. He waved for Dean to follow him as he gathered the bags and took them upstairs. “Sam drove all day. He did great. I got him a funny t-shirt with Latin on it that he didn’t get yet, but he will if he’s going to school for law. Did you know he hates strawberries? That’s so odd to me. He doesn’t like fruit much at all, does he? But he eats it anyway. He’s very healthy. We went for a run and we joined the gym, well, I joined the gym he already belonged to.” He went into Dean’s room, putting the bags on the bed. “Check these out, I thought you might like them.” He handed Dean a pair of pictures with peaceful lake scenes on them.

“Huh. These are nice!”

Cas grinned. “I thought they might look nice above the dresser.” He pointed.

Dean grinned, following his gesture. “Yeah. That would be good.”

“What?” He asked, knowing Dean’s thoughts were completely elsewhere.

Dean shrugged, grinning harder. “I haven’t seen you this excited since we went camping.”

Cas nodded, going back to the bags. “I love spending time with Sam. He’s great. He sure has a lot of friends.”

Dean nodded, sitting on the bed to watch him. “Mr. Popularity. Definitely the opposite of me. I knew plenty of people, but I usually pissed them off for one reason or another.”

Cas raised a brow at him in question.

Dean shrugged. “Honesty is not always the most popular policy.”

“I can relate to that very much,” Cas nodded.

Dean snickered, breaking their brief eye contact. “So, Charlie is taking you out tomorrow. All day, she says. Then Benny wants to take you out Friday night. And... I was wondering if you wanted to go camping with me on Saturday.”

Cas noted how he glanced away nervously. Perhaps because of the kiss this morning. It did make Castiel wonder what the next step was. Was he supposed to make the next move or... He unwrapped a metal bowl that had stars etched on the sides.

“That’s cool looking,” Dean grinned, taking the bowl from him. 

Castiel grinned. “Good. I got it for you.”

Dean looked up at him. “Why? You shoulda been spoiling yourself, not me!”

Cas shrugged, licking his lips. “Guess I was thinking about you.”

A heart-warming smile lit up his face. He switched gears, looking down at the bowl again. “So, would you rather hang out here than camp?”

“Oh no,” Castiel answered quickly. “I would love to go camping!”

Dean looked up at him again, nodding. “Good,” he said quietly. “It’ll be fun. You, me, and the great outdoors.”

“William Hill?” Cas asked, unable to contain his enthusiasm. “I heard you talk about it before, that if I could handle more, we would go there.”

“Yeah,” Dean grinned. “Yep. We’ll have to hike and everything.”

Castiel grinned. He wished it were Saturday right now.

 

By midnight, Cas was in the living room, sitting on the couch. He had gotten a card from Dean and Sam. He didn’t let the emptiness of his mom’s absence take any kind of breath until Dean was in bed and Sam was at least in his room.

He had never not gotten a card from his mom. He had old ones in his things. But they were locked away in a storage unit here in Lawrence somewhere. He pulled himself to his feet, getting the box from the corner. He sat on the floor, pulling the box open.

He took the sweatshirt out, smelling it. He sat it aside. He went through a few notes and pictures. He pictured his mom taking him for drinks, going from bar to bar. She would have been so silly, never drinking any other time. He wondered if it would have been just the two of them or if John would have come too. Or Dean. He put the items back in the box and closed it, pushing it back to the corner. He still felt sad. A sadness that no one could fill. At least not quite the same. But instead of it consuming him, he felt like reaching out. He went up the stairs, hesitating at Dean’s door. His hand was raised to knock lightly but dropped to his side. He just didn’t have the heart to ruin Dean’s night if all he was going to do was whine about his mom. He went into his room and kicked his shoes and jeans off. In his boxers and a t-shirt, he stared at his laptop miserably, standing at his dresser.

He turned when he heard the door creak open a bit. Dean stepped one foot in the room. “Hey.”

“Hello, Dean.” Cas swallowed, not wanting to show how sad he felt when they had worked so hard to keep him distracted.

Dean stepped in the room a few more steps. “You okay?”

Cas nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m fine. I’m good. I just...”

Dean nodded. “You haven’t been sleeping, have you?”

Cas frowned. He gave the bed a guilty look. “The bed is very comfortable.”

Dean nodded, looking at it. “I can’t seem to sleep either.” He sighed, looking down at his bare feet. “I was kinda waiting to say this. Waiting to see if you were...okay.” 

Cas swallowed, worrying a little as he watched Dean’s nervousness grow.

“I just wanted to say, happy birthday.” 

Cas swallowed. It was then that he realized neither Dean or Sam had said it today. As if he were saving it for something special. Or avoided the actual words to save him the pain it seemed to stab into his heart.

“Thank you,” he whispered, his voice cracking as his eyes burned. His mouth moved in an attempt to stem the tears that might fall if he just let go.

Dean looked down again. “I’m sorry your mom isn’t here to say it. But...I will be. And Sam. Every year.”

A cry choked from him as he rubbed at his eyes. His head dropped with a bitter frown, but he nodded. Dean was there in an instant, hugging him, which he accepted automatically.

“I’m so sorry,” he said more strongly, holding him so close that Cas could feel the full warmth of it surround him. It was like it was the first time he had said anything about his mom and it made Cas’ heart clench.

“I miss her,” he whispered.

“I know,” Dean nodded.

“I’m sorry about your dad,” he sniffed.

“Me too,” Dean whispered back, his hand clawing gently into his hair.

“Dean,” Cas pulled back, his heart pounding and his thoughts racing, “I don’t want to be sad about it anymore. I know I’ll get sad sometimes, but...I can’t live that way.”

Dean nodded, rubbing his upper arm.

“I never...I never dreamed coming here would make me so happy. Dean, you made me feel so much better.” He hugged him again, Dean grinning and breathing easier now.

“Cas...it was getting so stressful here. Before you came. I didn’t know if I could do it. I thought I might lose Sam. Or the house. It was all so big and...”

Cas caressed his back, feeling Dean’s chest heave several times. It was like a dam of unspoken words had been broken between them. 

“You just showed up...everything got better. So much better. And... I think I’m gonna make it. We’re gonna make it.”

Cas pulled back again, looking at him. He was a little surprised at how adamant Dean was that his arrival had changed things.

“Thank you, for everything. For letting me just be sad for a minute. I’m okay. I just needed...a hug, I guess,” Cas grinned, staring into Dean’s eyes.

Dean grinned back, ducking his head slightly. 

Castiel’s heart felt so much lighter. The relief in the fact that he could be so sad and bounce back within a few minutes, gave him hope. He was healing. People had said it would get easier. For the first time, he actually believed that. And that small, quick kiss this morning had been enough to throw him into daydreams at any given moment all day long. But he had Dean now. Right now. A thought tickled his mind, making him grin.

“It’s my birthday,” Cas grinned, his cheeks flushing.

Dean narrowed his eyes slightly, his hand ran slowly along Castiel’s arm. He grinned with a look of curiosity.

“I know what I want,” Castiel whispered, searching Dean’s eyes as the shades of green changed, his whole body seemed to relax a bit more, and his fingers curled a little tighter where they had settled on his arms.

Dean’s grin grew slowly, catching on. “Oh.” Dean’s hand slid up his shoulder, cupping the back of his head. Castiel thought he could actually faint from feeling so breathless. He wanted this more than anything.

They met, halfway, their lips coming together warmly. They held there a moment, breathing and Cas registered just how amazing this felt. He moved slightly, tipping his chin, in awe of how Dean could move against him. They pulled apart only to come back together, pressing harder as their hands gripped each other tight.

After several minutes, Cas pulled back and looked up at him. “I’ve been waiting for that for a long time.”

Dean leaned down, kissing him again. Another few minutes passed, leaving Cas breathless again.

Dean stepped back. “I should let you get to sleep.”

“Dean, you can sleep here.”

The pair stared at each other. Cas took a step closer. “I know I would sleep better if you were here. I...”

“Me too.” Dean took his hand and they crawled into the bed. They spent several minutes moving around, getting comfortable.

“You know your bed is bigger,” Cas grinned.

“I know. And I like it. I do. But...” he sighed, “I don’t like it in there.”

Cas held him tighter. “Just sleep here then. Every night.” He toyed with the fabric of Dean’s shirt. “It was your room first.”

 

******************************************************

 

Dean kissed him at least ten times before he even got out of bed, making Cas laugh and fucking glow. Dean had a hard time leaving for work, but when he did, it all felt so right. “Here’s your lunch.”

“Thank you,” Dean grinned, kissing him.

“And your coffee.”

Dean leaned in to kiss him again, putting his hand on the mug, but not taking it. Pulling back with a happy sigh, he stepped back, taking the mug. “Have a great day with Charlie. Don’t let her chase you away.”

Cas chuckled at that. “I’m sure I’ll be here when you get home.”

“I doubt it. Charlie goes hard, man. You better eat a good breakfast and get ready to keep up with her craziness.” Dean waved, leaving.

Cas took a deep breath. He felt lighter than he had in a very long time.

 

**********************************************************

 

Dean tucked his phone between his ear and shoulder. “Benny, I’m tellin’ ya, we didn’t DO anything!” He flopped onto the couch to turn the TV on.

“You kissed him...and slept with him. And then...nothin?” Benny laughed.

“I’m tellin’ ya,” Dean went on, “it’s serious. Like...” Dean blew a breath out.

“I think I need ta take YOU out for a drink instead of Cas!” Benny laughed.

“Yeah, about that,” Dean went on, “don’t let him get trashed. We’re going camping the next morning.”

“I’ll take good care o’ him, Dean.”

Dean nodded. “I gotta go.”

“See ya tomorrow!”

Dean hung up the phone, tossing it on the couch.

“Sam!” Dean called, stopping his brother from walking out the back door.

“What?” He asked, coming back into the living room.

“Sit down a minute, Sam.”

Sam blew a big breath, sitting in the chair. “What’s up?”

“Two things. One, I think Cas and I are getting pretty serious. That gonna be a problem?”

Sam narrowed his eyes. “Getting pretty serious? I thought you guys already slept together.”

“Slept. Nothing else.”

Sam looked at him suspiciously. “Really.”

“Really!” Dean shook his head in irritation.

Sam grinned. “I guess it’s okay. I mean...I kinda saw it coming since he got here. I’m kinda surprised it took so long.”

Dean sighed. “You been hangin’ out with Charlie and Benny lately?”

“No,” Sam laughed. “And yeah. It’s fine. I can see why you like him so much. And he’s crazy about you.”

Dean nodded. “Okay, so, now the big thing.” He took a deep breath. “I’m thinking about selling the house.”

Sam’s face paled. He froze where he was. “What? Why? No!”

Dean sat forward, a bit shocked Sam was becoming so upset. “I’m just thinking about it, Sam. Why does it bother you so bad?”

Sam stammered, getting to his feet. “Because! Dean! This is our house! We grew up here! Where the hell would we move to?”

Dean held his hands up defensively, “I was just THINKING about it! I didn’t realize you were so attached!”

Sam made a sound of disgust. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Dean sat back, confused at his brother’s anger.

“Maybe YOU hate it here, but I don’t! I don’t want to switch schools now!”

Dean frowned. “I wouldn’t make you switch schools. I was thinking in the spring. Right after you graduate.”

“Well, damn, Dean! Thanks for letting me in on this!” Sam paced into the kitchen, staring aimlessly. “I knew you hated it here, but I figured since Dad was gone, it would be easier.”

Dean got up. “It’s not that, Sam. And I didn’t hate it here. I might have left angry, but Dad and I worked things out pretty well before he died. I just...it’s hard being here.”

Sam glared at him. “Well, I’ll hurry the fuck up and graduate so you can get back to your life.”

“Whoah,” Dean snapped. “That is NOT what I’m talking about.”

Sam nodded bitterly. “Whatever, Dean. Do what you want. You always do. Just go ahead. I’ll figure my shit out for myself.”

Dean watched in confused shock as Sam stalked out the back of the house. He didn’t chase him. He didn’t fight. But he was more aware of how his leaving before had really affected Sam.

He paced back into the living room. He scrubbed a hand through his hair, pacing back into the kitchen and grabbed a beer. He shoved the back door open, heading for the glider.

 

******************************************

 

Dean woke to a warm weight against his side. He blinked his eyes, seeing a familiar hand on his thigh. “Hey,” he grinned.

“Hello, Dean. Why are you sleeping out here?”

He yawned. “I got tired. What time is it?”

“At least midnight.”

Dean stood up, heading into the house, locking up for the night. Without another word, he went up to Sam’s room. He was there, on his computer with headphones on. Dean sighed, heading to Cas’ room, getting in bed. 

“You were out late,” he said quietly.

“Yes, it was quite the day.”

Dean would have been worried, but Cas was still smiling, so it must have been a good day. “Where did you go?”

“We drove to a museum in Kansas City. Charlie is a lot of fun. And I think she and Anna have a thing going on.”

Dean settled down on his side, watching as Cas did the same, facing him as they spoke quietly. “Charlie’s fun on a road trip like that.”

Cas grinned. “Charlie is always fun. It’s so easy to be with her. She took me to The National Museum of Toys and Miniatures. We had so much fun.”

Dean smiled sadly, rubbing his thumb down the side of Cas’ face. “I bet it was. I bet you were so cute.”

Cas grinned at him warmly, taking his hand and holding it between them.

He hated to put a damper on Cas’ day, so he didn’t say anything about his conversation with Sam. Instead, he got up on one elbow and kissed Cas. Tonight, as their smiles met, it was not long until Dean felt a trace of tongue sweep across the seam of his lips. He parted his lips and felt his nerves jump in a rush of heat and excitement. 

For the first time, he let himself feel Cas’ hair like he wanted to. He ran his fingers through it and gently fisted it while Cas kissed him. He pulled back, staring into Cas’ eyes. “You’re a really good kisser.”

Cas grinned, his hand sliding up his side in a warm crawl.

So much rushed through his mind. He didn’t want Cas to leave. He had fucked things up with Sam. Cas was coming alive under him. His eyes became more determined, and before Dean realized what was happening, he was on his back and Cas was over him. 

“I think you’re the one who needs distracting tonight.”

Dean huffed a nervous little laugh. “It wasn’t the best day.”

Cas straddled him, his eyes as liquid hot as Dean had ever seen them. “Want to talk about it?” Cas asked, kissing him short and pulling back.

“No,” Dean said weakly. “But I really want to kiss you.”

Cas chuckled, leaning back down to do just that. The weight of him, his mouth, his smooth hands sweeping long strokes on his arms, all of it took Dean’s breath away. He had suspected that Cas could be hot between the sheets. There had been that spark of heat in a few of his smiles that glimpsed what he was really getting for the first time tonight.

He was shocked at the ground he was gaining. Cas was not stopping him, so he clawed and cupped, and felt Cas’ neck, arms, shoulders, back, ass, and thighs. Every part of him felt firm and good. He cursed the stupid clothes that separated them and was thankful for them too. If they were naked, they’d be fucking.

As if sensing the thought in his head, Cas ground his hips deliciously.

Dean moaned, grinding back. “Cas,” he asked between kisses.

“You feel so good, Dean,” Cas whispered back, a frown pulling at his brow. 

Dean cupped his face, holding it back. “What is it?”

Cas pressed his mouth together, worry broadcasting loudly.

“What are you worrying about?” Dean pressed, his hands not able to stop touching his warm skin.

Cas slid off him, tight against his side. “I’m just worried that something will go wrong, and I’ll lose all this. You. Sam. A home.”

Dean grinned. “Quit worrying. There isn’t a damn thing about you that I haven’t loved since you walked through the door.

He grinned as Cas’ worry morphed into a shy grin. “Cas...I’ve just been waiting until you were ready. I didn’t want to come across as a jerk and want to get in your pants the minute you got here. But...that’s pretty much the truth of the matter.”

Cas laughed. “I’m ready. Quit being such a gentleman and just...be a jerk already.” He was blushing hard and Dean couldn’t keep out the laugh and couldn’t keep his hands off him.

“Be a jerk, huh?”

“A little bit,” Cas grinned, unable to meet his eye.

Dean thought his heart might explode. Cas wanted him bad. Which was awesome, because he wanted him just as much. But his awkwardness was so fucking adorable when laced with a statement like, ‘be a jerk’.

Dean rolled over him, straddling his hips. Their eyes held in a lock as Dean laced their fingers together and pressed Cas’ hands into the bed, just above his head. He kissed him deep and slow, the pair grinding slowly, their hands gripping tightly, and their barriers crashing for good.

Dean pulled back. His chest heaved gently as his eyes searched Cas’ face, finding exactly what he wanted to see. Cas was so open. So happy. His hips ground upward with a little challenging glint in his eye, making Dean chuckle. “How far are we going?” Dean asked, his thumbs stroking the smooth backs of Cas’ hands.

“I don’t know,” Cas shrugged. “All the way.”

Dean grinned. There was a level of nervousness in Cas that he wanted to cradle and set aside. One thing he knew he needed to do was to take the lead again. He sat up, unlacing their fingers so Dean could slide his hands up Cas’ arms as he sat up, taking care to touch Cas as tenderly as he deserved. “How about this. I’m gonna make you feel really good. But we can wait to ‘go all the way’.”

Cas shook his head slowly. “I’m ready. I want to. Dean...”

Dean sat back, watching him with a grin tugging one corner of his mouth. “Take your shirt off, Cas.”

A thrilled little grin flitted through those blue eyes. Then his t-shirt came off and was tossed to the floor. 

Dean swept his hand across Cas’ chest and abs. He was lean. Strong and healthy under his touch. He swept his fingers over Cas’ abs again, eliciting chills, a grin, and a flinch of ticklishness. “You are so adorable,” Dean laughed.

Cas frowned. “I can be more than adorable.”

Dean chuckled. “I know. Those kisses of yours are painting a pretty clear picture. You’re driving me crazy.”

Cas grinned with a naughty tug to his lips. 

He crooked a finger into the waistband of Cas’ boxers. “You are hot as hell. And adorable. And the combination will get you anything you want. Promise.” Dean returned the naughty grin, watching as Cas slid his own boxers down.

There was enough light in the room that he could see fairly well. He ran his hand down Cas’ abs again, skirting around his dick to rub the smooth skin on his inner thigh.

Cas sucked in a breath of air, his hand gripping him on the shoulder. 

“So soft,” Dean murmured, kissing him again. “You’re so handsome.” 

He felt the heat in Cas’ cheeks as his lips kissed their way across one, nipping at his jaw. 

Cas’ hips lifted, seeking friction. “Dean,” Cas groaned.

The sound of his name as it came out in a growl, rumbling from Cas’ chest, lit a fire inside Dean that he had never quite felt before. He could do nothing but stare down at him for a few seconds until his mouth seared a kiss on Cas’ mouth that had them both groaning.

“Dean, take yours off,” Cas whispered, making goosebumps race down his neck and back. He propped up onto one elbow and between the two of them, got Dean undressed in a matter of seconds.

Dean’s feelings of lust were delving into a new realm of need. He pulled Cas over, flatter on his back, kneeling between his legs that he so easily opened to him.

His eyes roved all over Cas’ body. His long lines and toned build. “My God. You are beautiful.”

Cas looked up at him with wide eyes. “I’m not...” he swallowed, his eyes searching Dean’s.

“You are,” Dean insisted, raining kisses down on him, letting their bodies fully touch. He grinned, reveling in the touch and how Cas arched beneath him, seeking more.

“Dean, I want you...so bad,” he groaned quietly, his body still shifting and working against him. His hands were smooth and everywhere, gripping him firmly, dragging his blunt nails along his skin.

Dean got up on his knees again, taking him in. Shy, awkward, sad Cas seemed to be a distant memory. Graceful, eager, full-of-life Cas was asking for sex. It wasn’t what Dean had in mind. He figured touching, maybe to orgasm, was all that was in the cards for tonight. But Cas seemed ready. And he couldn’t think of any fucking reason to stop him. He leaned over, pulling the drawer to what used to be his own nightstand, now Cas’, open. “You got supplies?”

“In the back. In a bag,” Cas answered, kissing his way down Dean’s arm.

He stretched further, pulling out a plastic bag with two bulky items in it. He kissed him again, feeling like he couldn’t get closer fast enough. “Take it you want me to top.”

Cas wrapped his legs around Dean’s back, hooking his ankles together as he grinned up at him.

Dean chuckled, sitting up to open the bag, taking out the bottle of lube and digging two condoms out. He couldn’t believe how fast they were moving. And at the same time, he was shocked it had taken this long.

“I’m clean,” Cas said, “but we should use them anyway. I’ll go get tested.” 

“I haven’t ever not used condoms,” Dean admitted. “It’s kind of my thing. Kinda...saving that for...”

Cas sat up, kissing him chastely. “That is a huge turn-on.”

“Oh yeah?” Dean grinned, kissing him back.

“I’ve never not used one either.”

Dean grinned, a need surging inside him as he devoured Cas’ mouth, pressing him back into the bed, fishing a hand between them to take Cas’ cock in hand. They both groaned, breaking the kiss. They spent several moments feeling each other, stroking each other and exploring what made the other’s breath hitch.

“Dean. Please,” Cas coaxed, his head dropping back into the pillow, his chest heaving.

Dean kissed his way down Cas’ chest, nudging his legs apart wider. He went to work, his mouth and hands never stopping. By the time Cas was ready, Dean knew every inch of skin between his thighs and the taste of his dick on his tongue. 

The muscles in his thighs quivered with need as Dean got to his knees, putting condoms on both of them. He gripped Cas’ leg, hiking his foot up to his shoulder. He leaned down, hovering just over Cas’ mouth. “You are very bendy.”

Cas chuckled. “You have no idea.”

Dean plundered his mouth hard and slid in slow. When Cas pulled away to take a deep breath, Dean worked his way down Cas’ neck until he was fully planted.

Cas took several deep breaths, whispering “move” when he was ready.

Dean did just that. Slow, steady at first. When Cas began canting back, Dean sped up altering his strokes and rhythm. Cas felt incredible. Tight. Hot. So, so perfect. He stopped at one point, just staring down at him. “I’m not gonna last much longer. You’re so...perfect, Cas.” He thrust again, knowing by the hitch in his breathing that he was hitting his prostate just right.

Cas clutched Dean’s hips with his ankles and grabbed the headboard with both hands. “Harder.”

Fuck.

Dean thrust hard, quickening his pace until Cas was pleading his name. Dean stroked him, damn near crying when his cock swelled, erupting hot inside the condom. He came at the same time or just after. It was all a blur of so much good. So much heat. So much right.

Gasping for air, he pulled out gently, still semi-hard and throbbing. “Holy fuck.”

Cas, not in much better shape, pulled him close, the pair turning on their sides to breath and come down from the insane high.

“So good,” Cas murmured, eyes closed, and one arm flung over his forehead. “So, so good.”

With what little thought and muscle he could muster, Dean grabbed a shirt from the floor and cleaned them both. 

Cas took the shirt, tossing it to the floor. He tugged Dean down, into his arms. This was so good. Better than he’d even anticipated. It would have scared him more if he could stay awake, but there was no stopping the sleep that engulfed them both.


	9. Nothing Like A Hangover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets to try on his ‘dad-hat’.

Chapter 9: Nothing Like a Hangover

 

Castiel chuckled at the thought of Benny and Dean giving their poor shop teacher such a hard time. Benny had been telling him story after story of the pair of them in high school and all the trouble they had gotten into.

“Sounds like Mr. Turner deserved a medal for surviving the pair of you,” Cas grinned, sliding his empty shot glass to the edge of the table and picking a new color. A peach-brown.

“That’s Honey Jack. Jack Daniels Honey Whiskey,” Benny grinned.

Cas tossed the shot back. “Mmm. I like that one!”

“You like ‘em all!” Benny laughed.

Cas laughed, feeling a little warm in his belly and a little silly.

“Besides, I’d say Turner got off easy. Bobby’s the one deals with us five days a week.”

Cas grinned, his face feeling flushed. “I think Bobby likes you both very much. You all seem as close as family to me.”

Benny nodded, looking toward the bar, like he had been doing for the past hour. Cas leaned forward, pushing four shot glasses aside, not spilling too much. “Who are you checking out?” Benny was growing on him. He had been a bit nervous about going out with him tonight, not knowing him very well.

Benny blushed lightly, his eyes coming back to the table. “There’s a guy ova there named Alfie. Met him at a party at Charlie’s.” His eyes drifted to the man again. “Wanted to ask for his number, but...”

“Aw,” Cas chuckled, “I never pegged you for the shy type.”

Benny smirked. “I’m not...I just...he’s always with people.”

Cas nodded, glad he wasn’t still looking for someone. He grinned, thinking about his night with Dean last night.

Cas lifted two more shots to his nose. “I’ll try the purple one, it smells sweet.”

“Mm. Purple nurple. Dean loves those.”

Cas narrowed his eyes at Benny. “Did you and Dean ever date?”

“Naw. We were friends long before either of us knew we were gay. By then, we were just friends.”

“Just friends,” Cas repeated, his tongue feeling thick and sluggish. “And you never slept together?”

“No,” Benny grinned. “How ‘bout you?”

Cas spilled his purple nurple in a fit of giggles.

“Oooohhh!” Benny laughed. “You spilled yo liquor! That means you’re done, and you and Dean finally hooked up.”

Cas helped Benny mop up the purple mess, chuckling. “It was nooooot a hook up. I’m gonna marry that guy.”

“Whoah!” Benny laughed, sitting back with wide, blue eyes. “You are flagged fo’ sure! Marry!” He waved to the bar tender.

Cas marveled at his own words. “Yeah...”. He nodded. “I’m gonna marry him.”

“Oh Lawd.” Benny roared laughing, slapping the table.

Cas nodded. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom before we go.”

Cas came back, grinning even wider. “I got you a birthday present for me. For my birthday. For you.”

Benny gave him an amused look, “You are the most articulate trashed drunk I have eva met.”

“Why, thank you.” He handed Benny the slip of paper.

Benny’s jaw dropped. “You did this?”

Cas nodded excitedly. “Now I actually must go to the bathroom.”

He giggled all the way to the bathroom. The whole time he peed. While he walked passed Alfie, giving him a wave. All the way out to Benny’s car, and most of the way home.

He giggled all the way up the sidewalk and straight into Dean’s arms when he opened the door.

“What the hell, Benny?!” Dean yelled.

“Don’t be mad,” Cas giggled, kissing his cheek. He had the sweetest cheeks when he smiled!

“In my defense,” Benny began, apologetically, “he drank a beer like it was water. So I ordered a Box of Shots.”

“A Box of Shots?” Dean said incredulously, which was so funny.

“He drank five shots with no signs of anything! Then, shot six and... I love this guy. He’s a keeper.”

“I’m a keeper,” Cas grinned, feeling Dean’s hair. It was so, so, so soft.

Dean pulled his hand off his head, kissing him briefly. “Yes, you’re a keeper.”

Cas giggled. He was doing that a lot. “Dean, I’m sorry. I think I got drunk.”

Dean grinned. “I think you did too. Come on, let’s get you put to bed.”

“He’s a fun date,” Benny snickered. “He told me lotsa fun little nuggets about you.”

“Nuggets, huh?” Dean smirked.

“Aaaallll good things,” Cas grinned, teetering and leaning heavily into Dean.

“I am so gonna kick your ass,” Dean was saying to Benny.

“No, no, no! You can’t! I got him a date!” Cas interrupted, knowing this was urgent news that MUST be shared.

“Oh yeah,” Benny nodded. “This bastard goes to the bathroom and comes back with this.” Benny handed Dean the paper Cas had bravely gotten for him.

Dean took it, frowning at him and Benny both.

“He’s so serious,” Cas explained. Because nobody understood Dean like HE did.

“Call me soon! Alfie.” Dean stared at him, his green eyes turning muddy. “You got some guys number at the bar?” He turned his glare to Benny. “What the fuck?”

“The numba’s for me, brotha!” Benny frowned. “This is the guy from Charlie’s party! Cas got his number for me!”

Cas’ stomach swirled unpleasantly. “Dean, I would never get a guy’s number for myself.” He made Dean look at him. “I would never do that to you.”

Dean nodded. “Alright.” He seemed to understand a little better, but Cas was worried Dean got the wrong impression.

“Sit down, Cas,” Dean said softly.

Cas looked at the bed behind him. When did they even walk upstairs? Dean and Benny were in his room, taking his shoes off. Again, his stomach swirled, making him frown and sad and his mouth water.

“I got it,” Benny was saying, sitting a trashcan next to the bed. “I swear, he was holdin’ his liquor like a pro. He went from stone sober to this in seconds.”

“Dean,” Cas panted, his head landing on the bed. “I didn’t mean to get drunk. M sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Dean was saying, kissing his temple.

“I’ll hang out and keep watch if ya want,” Benny offered.

Cas found Dean’s hand, squeezing it. He only wanted Dean here. He wanted him to himself. He wanted him forever. 

“No, man. It’ll be alright,” Dean was saying.

“Dude! Is he...drunk?”

Cas fought to open his eyes, looking at his bedroom doorway. “Sam,” he mumbled pitifully.

“He’s pretty smashed,” Dean was saying.

 

***************************************************************

 

Dean woke the next morning, surprised he had not been up all night with Cas. Things were looking pretty questionable when they first got him to bed. Other than sleeping like a stone, he seemed alright.

He was in the kitchen, packing food for the trip, when Cas came downstairs. 

“Mornin’ sunshine!” He grinned.

Cas, hair sticking up, bags under his eyes, and slightly pale looking, furrowed his brow a little. “Good morning.”

“Headache?” Dean chuckled.

Cas rubbed his face, leaning against the counter. “Surprisingly, no.” He stood there, arms crossed over his chest, frowning at the floor.

Dean snickered. “That’s not what your face is telling me.”

Cas looked up. “No, I just wanted to apologize for getting so drunk.”

Dean grinned, coming to stand toe to toe with him, resting his hands on the counter behind Cas. “Did you have fun?”

“I did,” Cas nodded, relaxing a bit. “It was fun to show them my ID.”

Dean chuckled, kissing him. “You’re adorable when you’re drunk. You just kept laughing. At anything.” Seeing Cas looked relieved, Dean went back to work gathering food.

“I went up to some guy Benny was checking out all night, and told him as much, then got his number for Benny. I was so excited about it.” 

Dean laughed at the slightly bewildered look on Cas’ face as he recalled his night. “I wish I coulda been there.”

“Me too. Benny was a good sport though. All I did was talk about you.”

“Oh, God,” Dean sighed, wondering what kinda shit he was going to hear from Benny.

“He told me all about Mr. Turner and all the pranks you pulled on him.”

Dean laughed. “Ole Rufus! We did give him a hard time!”

“I’m shocked you didn’t get suspended! You really carried the principal’s VW Bug and put it in the hallway?”

Dean laughed. He (and 15 other guys) had, in fact, carried the principal’s car up the five steps and squeezed it into the hallway. “That principal was such a dick! It was the best prank ever!”

“Hey! Look who’s up!” Sam grinned, coming into the kitchen.

Cas looked at him with some confusion. “I... I think I remember seeing you last night.”

“Really?” Sam grinned wider. “You pretty much passed out the second you saw me.”

Cas winced. “Sorry, Sam.”

“It was fine! You only turn 21 once!”

Dean went back to work, busying himself. Sam had pretty much refused to speak to him since he had brought up selling the house. At least he was talking to Cas.

“When are you two leaving?”

Dean shrugged. “No later than noon.”

“You aren’t going?” Cas asked Sam.

“No. Just you two.” 

Dean didn’t have to look. He knew Sam was teasing Cas a little. He had made it clear to the others that no one else was going. Originally, he had thought he and Cas might kiss for the first time on this trip. Then Cas’ birthday came and... he couldn’t resist. Then he thought maybe they would take things a step further while camping secluded in the woods. Well, that had already happened as well. But he was looking forward to round two.

“Dean, who’s staying with Sam?” Cas asked, all concerned.

“He’s 16. He’ll be okay for one night.”

“I’ll be fine. Brady’s coming over to hang out.”

“Brady better not be code for Sarah,” Dean warned.

What little patience Sam had been using, snapped. “I’m not sneaking around so I can have sex all night long. Unlike some people.”

“I’m not sneaking, if that’s what you’re implying,” he snapped back.

Sam rolled his eyes. God, he was good at that. “I don’t know why I even bother. You think I’m just gonna fuck everything up anyway, so,” he nodded, sarcasm dripping from him, “I really should just plan a big fucking party and fuck everything up.”

Dean rolled his eyes right back. “So fucking dramatic.”

“Sam, Dean,” Cas had a hand up and looked worried. “Sam, it’s normal for your brother to worry about what you could get into. Dean, it’s time you trust him. He’s a good kid.”

Dean wanted to be pissed at Cas for butting in, but he was right. He sighed with frustration. “Fine. Sorry, Sam.”

Sam did manage to stop himself from rolling his eyes, but he left the kitchen in a huff anyway.

Dean shook his head in frustration. Sam was making everything so much fucking harder than it had to be.

“Do you have someone checking on him?” Cas asked.

“Of course. I’m not new at being a brother. And in case your mom didn’t tell you, I raised Sam more than my dad did. I know what I’m doing.” The words no sooner left his mouth than he regretted them. A month ago, saying something like that would have torn Cas to shreds. Instead, his look of worry turned to frustration.

“I was just checking. I care too, you know.” Cas headed upstairs.

Dean leaned onto the counter, mulling over his anger and frustration. There was no way Cas understood all the dynamics here. That was not his fault. And maybe he did need to ease up on Sam. But Sam had one ticket out of here. And he wasn’t going to let him fuck it up. 

 

*******************************************************

 

“I know people joke about Kansas being so flat,” Cas remarked, “but it truly is fascinatingly flat.”

Dean shook his head. “You gotta work with what you got, Cas.”

“I know! I’m not complaining in the slightest, but you should see how hilly Massachusetts is.”

“I’m sure,” Dean nodded, stopping to get a drink of water, letting Cas catch up the two steps behind he stayed on the trail.

“New York was a beautiful state. We lived there briefly. It’s a shame really. All people think of is New York City, but the rest of the state is actually very scenic.”

“I’m jealous of...pretty much every single other state there is,” Dean admitted.

Cas laughed, taking a drink of his own water. “Dean, this is beautiful. The woods. The hike. Thank you.” He looked down at his hiking boots. “I was dreading my birthday. You and your friends and family turned it into one of the best weeks of my life.”

Dean stepped closer, tipping Cas’ chin up. “Good. That was the plan.” He kissed him, smiling into it, loving the fact that he could just do that. Stop, and kiss Cas.

“How far are we hiking?” Cas asked. Dean took a step back, taking his hand, wanting the connection. 

He looked at his watch. “‘Bout another hour hike. You good?”

“I’m great!” Cas answered, squeezing his hand. And he looked great. He looked happy. His blue eyes scanned constantly, with a grin that made Dean grin every time he saw it.

The sun dappled light on them as they followed the trail. Other than rocks and two downed trees, they had few obstacles to traverse. None of them slowed Cas in the least.

Dean stopped on the trail, listening.

“What?” Cas whispered. “Do you hear something?”

“I hear lots of things. What do you hear?” Dean waited, letting Cas listen.

“Birds. The leaves.”

“Listen harder,” Dean coached patiently.

He watched as Cas’ brow furrowed with intent. His eyes lit up suddenly. “I hear water. A stream?”

“Good,” Dean grinned. “Anything else?”

“No. Wait...I heard something clank. I hear people. There’s some people...that way.”

Dean nodded. “Very good. You should always be listening when you’re hiking.”

“Should we turn back?” Cas asked, looking worried in the direction of where the small group of people were.

Dean listened a little longer. “Nah. I think it’s some other people camping. We’ll skirt around them.”

He gave Cas an encouraging pat on the back and started forward again. After another fifteen minutes on the trail, they took a side trail that led away from the group. He made a mental note of the knife in his pocket. The hidden one in his boot. The larger one on his leg. And the gun in the side pouch of his backpack. He did not want any trouble, but he was prepared nonetheless.

The side trail was not as well traveled. It had more brush and overgrown branches. He was pleased to note how quietly Cas moved through the woods. Other than birds, some scurrying squirrels, and a few rabbits, they did not encounter any wildlife as they hiked. Cas was excited by all of those anyway.

“We’re getting closer to the water,” Cas noted.

“We are. We’re almost there.” He took Cas’ hand again as the trail widened and they came to a small clearing by the stream.

Cas blinked into the sunlight as they came out of the canopy of trees. The clearing was near a deep section of the stream, not good for wading.

“Dean. This is beautiful.”

Dean had been here many times. It was one of his favorite places to camp. He rarely ever saw anyone in this section of the woods because it was so deep in. And unless you saw the clearing from the stream, you would never know it was here. Instead of admiring the view, he watched Cas as he smiled and walked around the clearing, stooping to see into the stream.

“We could fish!” Cas said, turning back to him.

“We will.” He crossed the space, grabbing the straps of Cas’ backpack gently, pulling him in easily for a kiss. They were both a little sweaty from the hike. The dampness at his hairline had Cas’ hair poking up even more adorably than usual. “We gotta set the tent up first.”

“And make a fire ring.”

“Well, the good news is, I already popped a tent.” Dean grinned at him, waiting for it.

Cas glanced around, looking back at him quizzically.

And there it was. That lost little look that just tickled Dean somewhere deep down inside, making him laugh. “You know, popped a tent. Got a boner.”

“Oh,” Cas grinned, blushing. “Well I think I can help you with both.”

Amused and falling harder for Cas all the time, Dean helped him get the hefty backpack off, putting it on the ground.

 

**********************************************

 

Dean seemed to know every stick and stone on William Hill. He taught him so many things on their hike in. Safety, what things were, what to look for and listen to. He was abuzz with new information and loved being outside. Their tent was secure and ready for bed. The fire ring was neat, and they had an amazing dinner of trout, potatoes, and broccoli. He was amazed that Dean had even thought to bring a vegetable.

Dean seemed ready for anything. Bug bites. What to do with trash. Going to the bathroom. Fishing. Cooking. And even washing the dishes. He was efficient and never wasteful. It was mesmerizing to watch him tie fishing knots, and fillet and spice the trout they caught.

As night set in, they settled in by the fire. The night was fairly hot, but they enjoyed the fire anyway.

“Does being out here at night freak you out?” Dean asked, poking the fire.

“No. I don’t know that I would enjoy it alone. But I feel safe with you here.”

Dean gave him a confident grin.

“Did your dad teach you all this?”

Dean’s eyes got lost in the fire for a time. “He did. He taught me and Sam a lot. About a lot. He was a good teacher. He just wasn’t good at the other stuff. Ya know, when you asked questions or tried to do things a different way.” He ran his hand along Dean’s back slow and steady. “He could smell fear like a damn bloodhound.” Cas waited, letting Dean have the time he seemed to need to think before he spoke again. “He taught me a lot of what I know about cars. Camping. Some construction. Even some simple plumbing. But I taught Sam how to walk. How to play. How to talk to girls. How to stick up for himself.” He shook his head. “He was good at the mechanical things. Just not good at the softer stuff. Bobby helped there. Sometimes. He’s a pretty gruff bastard too sometimes,” he snickered, tossing the stick he’d been toying with into the fire. “Sometimes Sam hates me for being more of a dad than Dad was. For not being enough and for being too much.”

“He does not hate you, Dean.”

“I know,” he said softly. “But he hates some of the shit I did. Like when I left. Dad and I had a pretty good thing going for a while. I kept him happy with Sam and Sam happy with him. But when Dad and I fell out over me being bi...I left.” He stared into the fire looking frustrated and defeated. “I just had to leave. If I hadn’t left...all we did was fight. I was so...angry. All the good shit I had done, all the thankless help and in one conversation...it all fell apart. He was proud of me. For a while. My first two years of high school. But the minute I stepped out of line...that was it. That was...”

Cas sat forward, putting an arm around his shoulders. “I’m so sorry Dean.”

“We patched things up. We did. He apologized. For a lot of things. Several times. And I was over it, ya know? And because I left, he was forced to be a better dad for Sam. But...I don’t know. Something fell apart between me and Sam. I lost him somewhere.”

“Dean, he loves you very much. You should hear him talk about you when you aren’t around. You are so obviously who he looks up to.”

Dean looked at him. “Really?” He picked up another twig, picking at the bark. “I miss just being his brother. I hate being his parent all the time.”

Cas rubbed along his arm. “He lost his dad too. And the only mother figure he ever had. Just as he was getting settled, his world was ripped apart. I don’t think he’s that angry at you. I think he just lashes out sometimes. And... you are hard on him.”

Worrying that he had gone too far, he studied Dean’s face. But apparently, he had already thought what Cas had said. He nodded reluctantly. “I’ll do better.”

“You’re doing great,” Cas encouraged. “Just...try and be more positive, rather than thinking he’s going to do the worst.” He knew he was pushing a boundary that was new to him and Dean was protective of.

Dean smirked. “Next time I see him, I’ll be sure to tell him how shiny his hair looks.”

After such an intense conversation, Cas laughed with a start. “I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.”

“He’d know I was making fun of him. But thanks for trying.” Dean leaned over, kissing him.

He had suspected Dean might be a very physical lover/partner/boyfriend/whatever-the-hell-they-were. Even while getting to know each other, Dean had never seemed shy about touching him, sitting close, tickling, or even hugging. And for as close as he and his mom had been, she had never been a huggy person. A loving pat. A warm grin, yes. But she was always so formal. So proper. Dean’s frequent and unembarrassed displays of affection were new to him. Before Gabriel, he had never had a friend that hugged him on the regular. And while he had grown used to the way Anna and Gabriel both were, he had to admit that Dean’s steady hands and passionate kisses were better than anything he had yet to encounter in this world.

His entire body reacted every time Dean kissed him like this. And now they were alone. Totally. And he could do whatever he wanted. “I want to go to bed,” he gasped between kisses, getting a happy noise from Dean in return.

“You go get ready. I’ll put the fire out.”

Cas disentangled himself slowly, finally getting to his feet. He went inside, careful to take his boots off before going in, to keep the dirt out. He had made their bed and grinned at the extra sheet and towels he had managed to pack. In exchange for space, there was only one pillow, which probably wouldn’t matter anyway. One of them usually ended up curled around the other one, using them for a pillow. 

He got undressed, folding his clothes neatly and stacking them to the side. He got into the sleeping bags, which he had used one for the top and one for the bottom to make their bed.

He listened as Dean worked quietly to tidy up camp and put the fire out. Finally, he came in, bringing a fresh breeze and the smell of woods and campfire. He turned on the mini lantern that hung from a loop at the top of their tent, lighting the tiny tent with a glow. He pulled his t-shirt off and shucked his jeans, their eyes meeting and darting from place to place, taking each other in. Cas had trouble waiting but did. When his last sock was off and he was on his knees, crawling toward him, Cas sat up, unable to wait another minute. He pulled Dean down, into the bed, kissing him deep and hard.

“Fuck,” Dean muttered, kissing back just as hard. “I want to hear you. I want you to say whatever you want to say.” 

“I wanna hear you too.”

Dean made him feel more alive than he had ever felt before. He was playful and yet took his breath away. Cas loved to hear his breath hitch and loved to hear him laugh. It was addictive and made him feel like he had a special place with Dean that no one else had. There was something edgy and rough about him that made him want to purr like a fucking cat. 

He kissed him, letting Dean take him down easily. The last time they had sex, it was all new. Exploratory. Tonight was more heated. They seemed to feed off each other, gripping firmer, kissing harder, and moving a little surer of each other.

Dean lit his skin on fire with wet, nipping kisses all over his body as he worked him open.

“I’m ready,” Cas insisted, his entire body feeling like a live wire. “Dean...”

Dean stopped, crawling over top of him. It was hot in the tent now and they both stared into each other’s eyes. Dean leaned down, kissing his mouth, sliding down his jaw and up to his ear. “How do you want me?”

Cas ground up into him, spurred on by the demand in his question. His limited experience was nothing compared to how Dean made him feel. And how he brought out a wilder side of him that he loved. “I want you...”

“I know you do,” Dean chuckled low. “But how?”

Cas licked his lips, Dean’s hungry grin made him whine, knowing what he wanted but not brave enough to say it aloud.

“I...”

Dean leaned down, nipping along his neck, making Cas squirm with pleasure.

“How do you want it?”

“I don’t know,” Cas gasped.

“I’ll let you think about it then,” Dean muttered, kneading a nipple between his thumb and finger, licking along his neck hard.

“From behind!” Cas burst.

Dean attacked his mouth with a demanding kiss. “You want me to fuck you from behind?”

“Yeah. Yes. Yes!”

Cas felt himself be flipped over and he scrambled to his knees, grinding his ass against Dean’s dick. He had never wanted to be filled so badly in his life.

“You’re so fucking hot,” Dean muttered, lubing again, stretching him again. 

“I’m ready,” Cas whined, unable to keep the need out of his voice.

“So ready.” Dean’s hands smoothed over his skin, took him firmly and suddenly he was being filled and stretched just how he wanted. Dean anchored him in place, pressing forward slow and patient, huffing breaths as bad as Cas was.

Kisses rained on the back of his neck and across his shoulders.

“God, Cas,” Dean whispered. Their bodies lined up chest to back, legs to legs, and Dean kept him wrapped in his arms. Sex had never been like this. Cas’ head swam, and his body quaked with need.

“So perfect,” Dean kept muttering as he slowly let Cas unfold his arms, backing away until his hands gripped his hips tight.

The first thrust was quick. Cas gasped, planting his elbows down, burying his head in the pillow. Another quick thrust and Cas widened his knees, making Dean groan.

A quick set of thrusts and Cas already couldn’t see straight. “Deeeeean,” Cas coaxed.

His hands were hot on his skin, caressing and gripping and all Cas could do was hold on as Dean set a steady pace.

One hand stayed gripped to his hip while the other ran up his back, into his hair, clenched and elicited a moan that Cas never could have produced outside this moment. The wandering hand gripped his shoulder and suddenly the thrusts were deeper, hitting his pleasure spot with an accuracy that blinded him.

“Dean!”

Dean quickened his pace and Cas was suddenly out of control, thrusting to meet him, wanting the pounding harder to meet the crescendo spiraling inside him to peak.

He heard himself moaning loudly and knew it was safe. No one was around. Dean wanted to hear him! He cried out in bliss when Dean’s hand latched skillfully onto his cock and stroked in time with the pounding.

“I’m!” He fought for words. “I’m coming!”

He felt the unmistakable bulge and heat of Dean’s orgasm and lost any sense of anything but the rocketing orgasm and the thumping against his prostate.

He gasped for air, coming in waves until he was collected into Dean’s arms again, rocking in a blissed-out trance.

“So good,” he heard Dean murmuring against his neck, just under his ear, and into the back of his hair.

His body shook and his mind whirled. He felt Dean pull out, but kept them just how they were, rocking and whispering praise and beautiful things into his skin and hair.

He never wanted the moment to end. He melted into Dean, letting him move him and hold him, kiss his cheeks and mouth and neck.

They cleaned up, Cas barely able to help. His head still lolled onto Dean at any given opportunity. And all the while, Dean never stopped kissing him.

As their breathing slowed, Cas chuckled in a sex-drunken haze. “I have never trusted anyone enough to do that.”

Dean turned, running a hand down his side. “Hope I earned the right to do it again sometime.”

Cas sighed. “You did. You definitely did.”

Dean sat up, wiping sweat from his forehead. “You trust me enough to take you swimming?”

Cas’ head popped up. It was sweltering in the tent now. “That sounds amazing right now!”

Dean got up onto his knees. “Let’s go. Right now.”

“The stream?” He laughed, not even thinking it possible.

“The stream. Come on!”

Cas followed him out of the tent. Armed only with towels, he followed him to the edge of the steep bank. “I don’t understand.”

Dean took his hand, leading him along the edge. They passed over some rocks and through two feet of brush. “Put the towels here,” he whispered, taking Cas’ and dropping both over the edge. Cas strained to see where the towels landed but could not make it out in the moonlight. “It’s gonna be freezing cold, so stay with me!”

“But!”

“Just trust me Cas!”

Dean took his hand firmly. “We’re gonna jump.”

“Is it safe?” Cas stepped back. “This doesn’t seem safe!”

Dean chuckled, kissing him once. “Trust me. I’d never let you get hurt.” He lined Cas up on the edge of a bank. 

“How will we get back up here?” Cas clutched his hand tighter.

“I’ll show you. Big jump. Ready?”

“No!”

“I got you. I’ve done this before. Not naked, but...it’s gonna feel amazing.”

Cas swatted some gnats away. “You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.”

Cas clutched Dean’s hand even tighter.

“We’re gonna jump on three. One...two...three.”

Cas leapt forward into the darkness, only a trace of moonlight reflecting on the water below. He held his breath and Dean’s hand as they fell a whole second before plunging into freezing cold water.

They swam to the surface easily enough, both gasping from the sheer cold that engulfed them.

After catching their breath, Dean tugged him along gently. There was a current, but it was gentle enough to move the water, but not them. Dean swam slowly toward the other side, stopping nearer the other shore. Realizing Dean was standing, Cas stood as well. The water lapped at his chin.

“You are c-crazy!” Cas laughed.

“Who’s crazier? Me for jumping or you for trusting me?”

They both laughed, Cas splashing him gently for the tease. Dean pulled him in close, wrapping his arms around his waist. Instinctively, Cas wrapped his legs around Dean’s waist, holding on to his shoulders.

“It’s s-so cold!” Cas laughed.

“We can get out whenever you want.” Dean’s grin sobered as his mouth met Cas’ with a warm and solid kiss.

“How the hell am I going to get you back for your birthday?” Cas chuckled.

“I’m sure you’ll think of something. It won’t be camping. My birthday isn’t until January.”

Cas already knew he would find a way to fly back to be here for it. He would not miss it for the world.

 

********************************************************

 

Dean grinned the whole way home. He had never felt so good in a relationship before. It felt incredibly solid. Cas’ shy nature was precious to him. His lack of experience with TV shows and camping was endearing. And the sex was like nothing he had experienced before. It all felt so exciting in a way that was like a breath of fresh air in his stale Kansas life. He was smart and intuitive. Watchful and so open. The only scary thing about their relationship was the inevitable fact that he was leaving. He kept that worry locked far back, unwilling to even deal with it.

They had only swum for twenty minutes or so, then he led him up the rocky climb back to the tent, where they cuddled together for warmth, falling asleep. They had slept in too late to fish in the morning. Too late to hike to some of the pretty spots he wanted to show him. And too late to have both breakfast and lunch, settling for a brunch. He would not have changed a second of it though. He had woken Cas up by kissing him and working him up into an orgasm in the peace of the woods. Although the morning sex was amazing, he was still filled with a warm, fuzzy feeling from the first words he had said.

As he kissed his sleepy, warm cheeks and mouth, watching him wake up. Watching his blue eyes blink awake with the dearest grin, Cas had said, “Dean,” awe in his voice, “I dreamt I was flying!”

The fact that the pair of them had been riddled with nightmares and insomnia, and now slept peacefully and through the night, told him what he already knew.

This was right.

Cas was everything.

He pulled along the curb in front of the house, putting the car in park.

“Dean,” Cas sighed, still so relaxed that he was slouching in his seat. “Thank you. For everything. And... I do mean everything.”

“You’re welcome.” He leaned over and kissed him again. “Come on. I need a shower. You need a shower.”

Cas whacked him lightly on the thigh and they got out of the car, hauling their backpacks inside.

“Sam! We’re home!” Dean looked around, frowning. Something was...off.

Sam came thumping down the steps. “Hey! How was the trip?”

“Good!” Cas answered. “It’s beautiful there.”

“Yeah! It is!” Sam grinned at both of them, sliding a hand into his pocket.

“Does it smell funny in here?” Dean asked. Everything was in its place...but a few things were slightly off.

“What? No,” Sam scoffed. “I made pizza rolls for Brady and me. That’s probably what you smell.”

Dean nodded. “He still here?”

“No. He had to head home.”

Dean narrowed his eyes at Sam. Dammit. He didn’t want to start things out on the wrong foot already. But something was off.

“What did you guys do last night?” He made his way to the kitchen to unpack. 

“Just...played video games. Nothing much,” Sam answered.

There was an unmistakable smell of something sweet in the kitchen. He sat his backpack down, Cas following him. Cas started unpacking his bag, putting their few food items away. He saw a peculiar look cross Cas’ face as he closed the cabinet.

“What?” Dean asked.

“Nothing,” Cas said quietly, getting their water bottles out of the packs.

More than suspicious, Dean went to the cabinet, opening it. A stack of obviously used red solo cups was sitting on the shelf. Dean picked them up, not even needing to smell them. Beer and something red and sticky stained the cups. He sat them on the counter. “Looks like you missed some.”

He turned, leaning against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest, glaring at Sam. “You wanna tell me what it was you and Brady did last night?”

Sam sighed, crossing his arms over his chest as well. “Fine. We had a party. I mean, you expected me to anyway, right?”

“No, actually,” Dean answered tightly. “Guess you waited until Charlie left to roll the keg in.”

“It was in the basement, actually,” Sam said back, like a full-grown smart ass.

Dean could feel his face heat up with anger. “What the fuck, Sam? Who was here?”

He shrugged, maintaining his nonchalance. “I didn’t exactly make a guest list.”

Dean’s hands were clenched into fists. “I trusted you.”

“No, you didn’t. Figured I might as well throw a party since you figured I would.”

“Sam,” Cas cut in with a harsh warning tone.

“You had a bunch of kids here? Underage drinking?” Dean yelled, losing the grip he barely had on his ramping temper. “You coulda got in trouble! Were the cops called? Did you let people drive home drunk?”

“No!” Sam yelled back. “It was no big deal! And no one drove drunk!”

Dean paced across the kitchen. “Where did people sleep? Did people sleep here? Dammit Sam!”

Sam’s glare faltered. “We slept in the living room. And my room. No one went in your room. Or Cas’. It was fine. It was no big deal.”

“Oh,” Dean snapped, wanting to shake the shit out of Sam, “it’s a big fucking deal. You’re grounded.”

“Dean!”

“SAM!” He yelled over him. “Go to your room and bring me your laptop, your phone, and your Kindle.”

“What? No!”

He grit his jaw as hard as it took to stop all the angry, stupid things he wanted to yell at Sam. “Now,” he finally mustered.

Sam scoffed, leaving to go upstairs.

Dean kept pacing. He was so angry he couldn’t see straight. He stopped when Sam came back into the kitchen, putting his three devices on the table. 

“This is bullshit,” Sam said angrily. “You’re such a hypocrite! How many parties have YOU thrown?!”

He wasn’t wrong. He’d done it four times. One of those times Sam was even there.

“You have beer in the fridge now!” Sam went on.

Dean swallowed, shaking with anger. “You can’t throw parties, Sam. You can’t. End of story. Period.”

Sam threw his hands up, storming back upstairs.

“Dammit!” He yelled, swiping several cups and a stack of napkins off the counter.

Belatedly, he gave Cas an apologetic glance. He was busying himself with the backpacks.

“Cas.” He sighed heavily, looking down at the mess he had just made. “I’ll unpack the bags. You can go get a shower.”

Cas’ hands hesitated as he pulled their towels out. He nodded, leaving them at the washer as he went upstairs.

Dean sighed heavily, shutting his eyes as he leaned onto the counter. What the hell was Sam thinking? Why? Why was he being so damn difficult? He moved slowly to the mess he had made on the floor, gathering napkins and cups. He and Sam were a mess. His life was a mess. Other than Cas, everything else was flipped upside down and not what he had been planning for. What money he had saved to go to a trade school for mechanics had been severely depleted the first month he took over the house. He had only gained access to his dad’s accounts the day before he ordered the beds. Until that day, he was paying all the bills on his own. It was straightened out now. Or getting there. But taking from that savings account had felt like a possibility for him had shut down completely.

He huffed bitterly as he put the cups in the sink. It had been a pipe dream anyway. But Sam’s dream was real. And possible. He slapped the stack of napkins on the counter and started unpacking the backpacks.

He froze when Cas came up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist. “I’m sorry that happened.” Cas kissed the side of his neck lightly. The touch had an incredibly strong effect on Dean. He had never been effected by someone’s touch so strongly before. He sighed, relaxing. He tipped his head to rub into Cas’ and leaned back into him.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Dean sighed, letting his anger go.

“Me too. You did good. Sam needs boundaries. And he needs to know we care too.”

Dean’s heart swelled as he turned in Cas’ arms to kiss him. ‘We’. Cas chuckled as Dean kissed him harder. Dean held him tight. Cas was his friend. His partner. His. And they could do this together.


	10. Breaking the Levy

Chapter 10: Breaking the Levy

 

Sam’s grounding was as unpleasant for Sam as it had been for Cas. And Dean.

Things between the brothers had been tense. Sam was angry at Dean. Dean was angry at Sam. And Cas was caught in a strange new dynamic. He just wanted them to not be mad at each other. For the past week, Sam had buried himself in his room, only coming out for meals and occasionally to do whatever chores Dean had left for him to do. He and Dean were fine, spending their evenings together. And their nights. They still slept in Dean’s old room, the master bedroom being little more than a closet for Dean.

Sam’s grounding had ended today, but Cas saw little effect from it. Sam was still acting barely civil toward Dean. And Dean was ignoring some deeper, underlying issues with Sam.

He had gotten his phone, computer, and Kindle back and was allowed out again. He took the first opportunity he got to leave. His friend Brady came to pick him up but had not even bothered to tell Dean when he would be back. That was hours ago.

Dean, frustrated and tired from a long work week, had gone to bed twenty minutes ago. Cas stayed up, making sure Sam actually came home before 11:00, which was his curfew.

He was finishing up all the citations on his final project, excited to have gotten so far with it over the summer break. It would be finished before he went back to school in a few weeks. 

His phone rang and he pulled it out of his pocket, getting up to stretch his legs, pacing into the kitchen. “Hello, Sam.”

“Cassss...it’s Sam.”

Cas stopped in his tracks, listening hard. “Sam,” he said quietly, “are you okay?”

“I’m sorta, kinda, maaaaybe a lidda bit trashed.”

Shocked, Cas decided to focus on getting him back home. “Where are you?”

“Wul, thas the problem. I’m at a buddy’s house aaaand his parents came home aaaaand I think I better get outuv here.”

Castiel went down the hall, seeing Dean’s keys on the table by the door. “I’ll come get you.”

“Hersa thing. Sarah’s here and can’t go home.” Sam started laughing, his voice climbing three octaves. “She fell asleep!”

Castiel’s initial worry skyrocketed. Now there were other kids involved.

“But don tell Dean!” Sam whispered loud. “He’ll jus be mad an yell an get allllll loud.”

“Are you at Brady’s?” Cas asked. He had said that’s where he was going. He was also avoiding any promises.

“Ooooohhh noooo,” Sam half sighed, half sang into the phone.

“Where am I picking you and Sarah up from?”

“Popper Street, no, Popular Street.” He laughed, but Cas could hear someone say, “Poplar Street you dumbass!” In the background.

“Poplar street?” Cas repeated.

“Yeah!” Sam sighed. “Fourteen eighty-two Street.”

He must mean 1482 Poplar Street. “I’ll be there soon Sam.”

“I’ll be ouside so don knock! And don tell Dean. Mean Dean the daddy machine!”

“I’m on my way,” Cas said, hanging up. He hated getting in the middle of the brothers, but there was no avoiding this one. And he was not about to start keeping secrets from Dean.

Stressing, he bounded up the steps, hesitating at the bedroom door. He pushed it open. “Dean?”

Dean turned over in bed. “Yeah?”

Cas stepped into the room. “Sam called.”

Dean sat up immediately, feet going to the floor and covers flying back.

“He’s okay,” Cas assured, “but I think he’s been drinking.”

“Son of a bitch!” Dean was already pulling jeans on and searching for his shoes.

“I can get him -”

“No way. What the fuck is he thinking!”

Cas stepped back as Dean stomped sneakers on and headed down the steps pulling a t-shirt on.

“He’s sixteen and -”

“And he’s so fucking grounded!” Dean yelled, grabbing his keys. He looked at his phone. “He didn’t call me. Guess he figured he could lie his way out of this by just having you go get him!”

Cas followed him out of the house. “Dean, he’s not alone. He has Sarah with him and wants us to bring her home.”

Dean whipped around, staring at Cas with wide eyes. “Home, like here? Is he insane? I’m not bringing some drunk teenage girl into a house with three guys! Jesus!”

Cas kept his voice calm, following Dean to the car. “He’s not thinking clearly.”

“Clearly,” Dean snapped, unlocking his door. 

Cas bent down to the window, knocking on it. “Let me in.”

Dean started the car and leaned over to pop the lock up. Cas got in quickly as to not lose a foot as Dean took off.

“Where am I going? I can’t believe he has a girl with him!”

“1482 Poplar Street,” Cas said calmly. “Do you know Sarah’s family?”

“No! I haven’t even met her!” Dean punched the steering wheel, semi-running a stop sign.

“Dean-”

“Cas,” Dean warned. Cas stopped, watching the road as Dean started to slow down. “I’ll calm down, alright?”

“Alright,” Cas said quietly.

Dean blew a breath out, turning onto a street in a nicer section of town. “He said he was going to Brady’s. This isn’t where Brady lives, by the way,” Dean added, his jaw clamping shut.

“It’s that one,” Cas pointed to a huge brick house that was a two-story but looked much more imposing. “And there they are.”

A group of three kids sat on the curb by a brick pillar at the foot of the driveway.

“I think they avoided the parents and snuck outside,” Cas offered in way of explanation as Dean stopped the car in front of them.

Dean’s hands dropped to his lap. “What the hell? Do I go explain it to the parents? Am I responsible to...like...parent?” Dean gave the huge house a daunting look.

The back door opened, and Brady slid in, helping an extremely sleepy Sarah in, Sam shoving in next. None of them said a word.

Cas looked at Dean, who was glaring death daggers at both boys. “Dean.” He put a calming hand on Dean’s forearm, squeezing gently.

Dean’s eyes flicked to his.

“Let’s just go. If anything needs explaining, we’ll explain it. But we should take Sarah home immediately.”

Dean’s eyes flicked back to the backseat until he faced forward again, pulling off slowly.

“We can’t take her home,” Sam began. “She’ll -”

“She’s going home.” The dead-calm and ice in Dean’s voice gave Cas chills.

“What’s her address?” Cas asked.

“She lives on Grant. A block south from school.”

Sam sounded much more sober than he had on the phone.

No radio played, and no one said a word.

“This one,” Sam said flatly.

Dean pulled into a driveway, put the car in park and turned the engine off. “Brady, stay in the car.”

“Okay,” came semi-drunk, sleepy voice from the boy in back.

Dean and Cas got out, Cas helping Sam with Sarah.

She mumbled and groaned, hanging heavily on both of them. Dean marched ahead to the front door.

“Her parents are gonna be pissed,” Sam muttered.

“As well they should be, Sam,” Cas said back, not curbing his irritation.

Dean knocked on the door.

A woman answered, giving Dean a curious look until her eyes fell on her daughter. “What’s going on!” 

“Ma’am, I’m Dean. This is my brother, Sam.”

“Sarah!” Her eyes were wide with fear.

“We got a call from Sam. Apparently, they were at a friend’s house and were drinking,” Dean tried to explain as the mom pushed the door open all the way for Sam and Cas to bring her through.

“Hi moooom,” Sarah giggled, her head lolling over to Sam’s arm.

“How did this happen?!” The mom demanded.

As they went into a living room, a man came from the hall, his face immediately growing suspicious and angry. “Who are you?” He demanded. “Sam, Sarah, what the hell’s going on?”

“We were at Brady’s friend’s house and thought we’d try some liquor,” Sam began as the dad took his daughter.

“Get the hell outta my house,” the dad growled. 

Sam stepped back out to the porch as Cas turned to stand next to Dean, who was explaining that he had custody of his brother because their dad was dead.

Cas’ heart hurt for Dean having to explain their situation.

“Get out of here! I should call the cops!” The mom yelled.

Dean nodded stoically, stepping toward the door. “Do you want my number?”

“No. Just...get out,” the mom barked.

They all left, getting in the car quickly.

“Guess I’ll never see her again,” Sam said bitterly from the back seat.

Dean turned slowly, pinning Sam with a look that, frankly, Sam deserved at this point.

Dean backed out of the driveway and drove ten minutes across town to another house. Cas realized it was Brady’s when the kid got out automatically. Dean went along to the door here too.

They sat in tense silence while Dean stood at the door talking to a lady that must have been Brady’s mom.

“You guys suck so bad. I thought you’d be cool. Help us out. This is such a dick move.”

Castiel fumed at the stupidity of the comment. He said nothing, unwilling to engage a drunk, irritable Sam. He was more concerned with what awaited them all when they got home. He chose not to respond at all.

By the time they got home, Dean was still silent. He parked the car and they went inside like any other night.

Sam went straight toward the stairs, getting one foot on the bottom step when Dean grabbed him by the shoulder, shoving him back a step. Cas stood at the door, nervously watching the pair like a referee. Sam staggered a step, then faced his brother head on. “Why couldn’t you just be cool for once, Dean?! You just fucked up any chance I had with Sarah!”

“I don’t give a shit about your chance with Sarah,” Dean said steadily, voice sharp and cold. “I don’t give a shit that Brady’s mom chewed me out. What I care about, Sam, is the very real fact that this is the kind of shit that can get you taken away from me.”

“That’s NOT gonna happen! God.” Sam swayed, frowning. “And no one would have known if you woulda let them crash here and sober up!”

“I’m not bringing underage kids here to sober up, Sam!” Dean yelled, his cold glare heating quickly into anger. “AND DEFINITELY NOT SOME GIRL!”

“She’s not just some girl! You’re such a jerk!” Sam yelled back. 

“Just go to your room,” Dean said, his voice shaking slightly with anger.

“You aren’t my dad. And you aren’t grounding me!” Sam yelled, swaying again.

“Sam!” Cas yelled.

Sam’s bloodshot eyes met his. “Shut up, Cas!”

“That’s it!” Dean snapped, grabbing Sam’s arm.

Sam swung at him, Dean deflecting the shot for the most part. The yelling and swinging that broke out were more than Cas was equipped or used to handling.

When his words were ignored, Cas finally managed to get ahold of Sam, gripping his shirt with both hands, shoving him against the closed front door. “Enough!”

Sam made another lunge, Cas shoving him against the door again. “I SAID...enough.”

He let go of Sam’s shirt with one hand, holding his hand out to stop Dean’s advance. Barely sparing Dean a glance, his stern glare was back on Sam.

“Are you done?”

Sam heaved a breath, his wild eyes focusing.

“Are you done?” Cas asked again, quieter.

Sam lifted both hands in defeat, his shoulders slumping. Cas let go of him slowly. All the things he wanted to say were cut off by Sam’s face crumpling. Tears started to run as his shoulders shook.

Dean huffed, wheeling around to pace away, but he paced back just as quick.

“M sorry,” Sam choked out.

Cas glanced at Dean nervously. Dean looked like he was ready to lose it. Angry at Sam, but heart breaking at the gut-wrenching sob that broke from him.

“M sorry,” Sam choked out again, standing up taller. He wiped his face and mouth, looking around the foyer with a slightly panicky look.

Forgetting all that had just went on, Cas took a step back. “Are you going to be sick?”

Sam nodded.

“For God’s sake,” Dean bitched.

Cas took Sam by the arm, guiding him up the stairs. He stumbled twice, running when he got to the hallway. He made it to the toilet, which was a small bright spot in the events that were turning a mundane night into an epic mess.

 

*********************************************************

 

By 2am, the bathroom fan was running. Sam sat on the floor, sagging weakly in front of the recently cleaned toilet. Cas sat a few feet away on the floor, leaning against the vanity with his eyes closed. Dean, sitting on the edge of the tub, felt like he was failing at everything.

Sam had cycled through silly drunk, moving on to unruly drunk, to mopey, puking, mopey, puking, sleepy, puking, and who knew what the fuck was next.

“Dean,” Sam said weakly. “I love you.”

Dean nodded, taking a breath to pull patience into his system. “I know, Sammy. I love you too.”

Sam’s eyes blinked open. Cas had already given him Tylenol and water. If he could keep it down, he would feel much better by morning. Sam had already apologized to him and Cas and had sworn he would never drink again. Dean took it all with a grain of salt. 

“Think you can go to bed now?” Dean asked, studying him. His color was a little better and he was a good bit calmer than he had been.

“Yeah,” he said hoarsely, throat raw and deep from throwing up.

Cas was watching him too. He started getting up and the brothers followed his lead. 

“I’ll do better tomorrow. Forever. I swear,” Sam said, staggering only slightly as he made his way from the bathroom to his own room.

Dean felt defeated. Worn out. Old beyond his years. And like a shitty brother.

“Let’s go to bed,” Cas coaxed gently. Dean followed him easily. He sat on the edge of the bed, too tired to do more. Too burnt out to figure out what he was even doing.

Cas took his clothes off, leaving his boxers on. He came to sit next to him on the bed. “Dean, I apologize for anything I may have said or done tonight that may have been-”

“I’m so glad you were here!” Dean blurted, dropping his head into his hands. “I don’t know what would have happened if you weren’t here. Cas...if any of those parents press charges or report the underage drinking...they’ll take him from me!” He knew he was rocking. And he could feel Cas hand on his back. But FUCK. What the fuck was he going to do? “What if they find me unfit? They were already iffy about it when Dad first died. They said they don’t like leaving minors under the care of anyone who isn’t 21 or older! They might put him in foster care!”

“Dean!”

Dean’s ugly, swirling, panicky thoughts screeched to a halt as he looked at Cas.

“Nothing happened. If something does happen, we will figure out a way.” He took his hand, squeezing it just enough to make him calm down. “You are doing a wonderful job.”

Dean abruptly stood up at that, pulling away. “Oh yeah. Fan-fucking-tastic! He’s drinking all the time and he’s so angry! I don’t know what to do!”

Cas was on his feet as well. “Talk to him. Not at him, but with him. Dean...he lost ALL his parents! And if I had to guess, he’s probably afraid. Afraid of losing anyone else. Hell, anything else. He’s just...he’s going to be okay.”

Dean’s heart sunk. “I talked to him about selling the house and he freaked out.” It was making more sense now. “And I think he thinks I don’t want to be here. I mean, I didn’t, but I wouldn’t be anywhere else. He’s my brother.” Dean paced around the small room. “He’s gotta know that...right?”

Cas looked down. “Sam is a bit more sensitive than you may think. I’m sure he needs to hear it. All of it. And he’s going to need to hear it a lot. He’s going into his senior year. It’s very stressful.”

“Why?” Dean blurted. “He’s almost done! Senior privileges, man! He’s almost out. The hardest thing about my senior year was making myself go every day.”

“You and Sam are very different. And senior year is very stressful. He’s waiting to hear about several colleges. He’s taking some challenging classes. And everything at home has shifted. He just needs a lot of reassurance.”

Dean stepped forward, hugging Cas to him. “I’m gonna fuck this up, Cas. I can’t do it. It’s too big.”

“Yes, you can.” Cas pushed him out to arm’s length. “You’re tired. Let’s go to bed and deal with this tomorrow.”

Dean nodded. He was tired. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. Cas tugged his shirt up over his head, prompting him to get undressed. Getting the rest off, except his boxers, he followed Cas into bed, holding onto him tightly.

Once they were settled, Dean let out a huge breath. “Thank you for being here. For not bailing. It’s a wonder you didn’t get one look at us and opt for sleeping at the bus station.”

Cas chuckled, kissing the top of his head. “The benches there are terrible.”

Dean huffed a small laugh.

“And you’re welcome,” Cas said more gently. “Just...please tell me if I get out of line. I’m not actually family. But I do care very much.”

Dean sat up. After the hurt Sam was feeling, he couldn’t bear for Cas to even question how he felt. “Cas, you are my family. I... I kinda wanna freak out any time I think about you leaving for school. Cas...I love you.”

Cas looked at him with a bit of surprise. “You...”

“I do.” He leaned down to kiss him. He was better with his mouth than his words. “I’ve never been so...in love with someone before.”

Cas huffed a little laugh, still looking shocked. “Dean...I love you too. Already. It happened so fast! I can’t even imagine life without you! I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go back to Massachusetts. It makes me sick just thinking about it!”

“Hey!” Dean cut him off, kissing him. “Let’s uh, save that for another night. One crisis at a time ya know? We gotta pace ourselves.”

They both chuckled, kissing gently. The kiss did heat up for a few moments, but they quickly settled back into each other’s arms.

“Night, Dean. I love you.”

Dean closed his eyes, sighing at the rhythmic sweep of Cas’ fingers in his hair. “Night Cas. Love you.”

 

**********************************************

 

When Sam finally got up and made his way downstairs, Dean and Cas were sitting at the table in the kitchen. It was almost noon and their Saturday was passing slowly. They had slept in as well, having a late breakfast. 

“Want some bacon? Sausage?” Dean asked with a smirk.

“Uh, no. Thanks,” Sam answered, still looking weak and pale from last night.

“I’ll make you some toast,” Cas suggested, getting up.

Sam sat down at the table. “Just water, really.”

Cas proceeded to put bread in the toaster. “Eat, Sam. It will help.”

He sighed miserably. “Okay.”

Once Cas was sitting down, two pieces of dry toast and a glass of water in front of Sam, Dean cleared his throat. “We need to talk about last night.”

“I know,” Sam said quietly. “Please...just let me start by saying I’m really sorry.”

Dean and Cas both nodded. 

“I won’t be hanging around Brady anymore. He’s always trying to start trouble. He remembers hearing about you in school and has this idea that you’ll let us party. It’s stupid and I know it’s my fault...but I can’t hang out with him anymore.”

Well, that was one thing Dean had suspected and was relieved to hear Sam realize it wasn’t going to work that way. “Alright.”

Sam sighed, staring down at the toast. “I really messed up last night. Sarah’s parents are never going to forgive me.”

Dean and Cas exchanged a glance. Yeah, probably not. “You can’t blame them for protecting their daughter. Sam,” Dean went on, “don’t ever let yourself get into a mess like that again. If you took Sarah out, you were responsible to bring her home okay.”

Sam nodded, his mouth trembling and his eyes getting red. “What if...what if they turn me in? What if social services try to...take me away. Can I refuse to go?” He gave Dean an imploring look, puppy-dog eyes and all, making Dean’s gut twist at the thought.

“I don’t think you could refuse, Sam. But...let’s not plan on that happening. But Sam,” he leaned in, making it an absolutely clear point, “this can’t happen again. Ever.”

Sam nodded, swiping tears away. “It won’t!”

Silence filled the kitchen as the three sat there.

“Sam,” Cas said gently, “why did it happen?”

Sam sat back, looking like he was physically trying to dodge the question. His eyes skirted around the kitchen. “I don’t know. It was stupid.”

Neither he or Cas said anything, just waiting.

Sam sighed, slumping in his seat. “I was mad,” he barely whispered.

“Mad at me,” Dean clarified.

Sam fumbled for an excuse or words, but eventually nodded his head.

“Why are you so mad at me?” Dean asked, trying not to sound too defensive. He and Cas had talked a lot this morning in bed as they woke up. Cas had told him over and over to remember that there had to be more going on than just Sam acting like a jerk. 

“I don’t know!” Sam squirmed, tearing off a piece of toast, sticking it in his mouth. “It’s nothing. I’m over it.”

“Sam, we care,” Cas pressed. “And I think you really need to talk about it. I can leave, if you want, to give you two some privacy.” He scooted his chair back to stand up.

“No!” Sam snapped, giving Dean a nervous look. “No. You can stay.” He sighed, dropping the toast again. “I... I feel like a huge pain in the ass, alright? I mean, Dean had plans. Things he...things you were going to do. And now you’re stuck here again.”

Dean frowned, staring at Sam with irritation.

“I don’t want to hold you back from doing what you were planning. I know you want to go to a trade school. And I know you’ll stay here and do nothing until I’m gone...so...”

“So, what?” Dean pushed. “You gonna ruin your life so I can have one?”

“No,” Sam snapped. He licked his lips, really looking at him for the first time all morning. “I’m just...mad. I’m pissed, okay? I had a mom that I don’t remember. You used to tell me all these great things about her. How sweet she was. What she looked like. The songs she sang and things she cooked. I don’t remember any of that! Dad was...absent for the first ten years of my life! Then back on board. Always pushing about how smart I was and how I was gonna be more than him. More than you. I hated that. Then...you guys were fighting and then...you just left.” Sam sat back, shrugging. “You left me here. I hated you for that. Then Dad was all about being my dad again. And then...then he met Naomi and things got...really good. Like, he was the dad I wished he had been my whole life. And... I felt guilty about it. Like I was being a traitor to you. But...you left me, so what was I supposed to do? But it didn’t matter. Now they’re gone too. And you had to come back and... I just feel like I’ve been tossed around my whole damn life! Like nothing is going to stick, ya know? And maybe I don’t want to go to college! Maybe I don’t want to move away and be a lawyer! And maybe I won’t even get in! And who cares anyway? It’s all just so...fucked up.”

Dean had sat there, listening carefully. Shit. Cas had been right. Sam did have a lot more going on than ‘let’s do stupid shit to drive my big brother crazy’.

“And,” Sam went on, now seeming unable to stop sharing, “now Cas shows up and... you two are happy, like REALLY happy, which, I’m happy for you, but...now you want to leave and sell the house and I just...I just don’t even know where to go with that. I don’t...belong anywhere!” He swatted tears away, looking at him with some accusation, but mostly just hurt.

Dean had to take a minute and sort all the shit that was just dumped on him. He rested his forehead against his balled-up hands. Fuck. He blew a breath out and sat back. “Sam... I can’t speak for Dad. I know he did the best he could. You were too little to remember, but he was really depressed for a few years. And...” Dean fought off the memories of pleading for their dad’s attention, for getting mad and lashing out, for taking Sam and running away. “He tried. He was just too...broken. And that wasn’t my fault and it wasn’t your fault. We were just...here. Stuck in a shitty situation. So... I did the best I could.”

“You did everything!” Sam laughed bitterly. “You shouldn’t have to stop what you’re doing again and-”

“Sam,” Dean interrupted, “just...listen.”

Sam stopped, his hand dropping defeatedly.

“Dad missed a lot of shit. And ya know what? You can’t rewind time. You can’t get a do-over. And... I think we had some pretty good times. Even with Dad sometimes.”

Sam shrugged.

“And all that stuff I told you about Mom...I was just trying to make you believe we had a good mom. Like, there was something better out there. I used to make shit up sometimes. I have like three memories of her. And yeah, they were all good, but dude, I was four when she died.”

They all sat quietly again.

“I really thought you had this whole childhood I missed out on,” Sam huffed, staring at his toast. “I can’t believe I never really put that together before.”

Dean nodded slowly. “And I didn’t mean to...abandon you, Sam... but if I hadn’t left...I would’ve had to act like I was someone I wasn’t. And I did that for you and me. And... Dad did step up. He did get better. And I’m glad you two had that. I mean, things were definitely better between us, but...”

Sam looked at him again, worry wrinkling his brow. “I am glad you left. For you. I don’t want you to think I resented you the whole time. I mean, I got it. You told me as much before you left. But...you were...everything to me. I had to go to Dad for stuff like school issues or just to talk to...and it was weird.”

Dean huffed. “That’s fucking pathetic, isn’t it?”

Sam nodded. “I am glad things got better.”

“It sounds like,” Cas added, “every time your parent figure gets pretty stable, they are taken away from you.”

Sam nodded. “Yeah. I guess. I guess I wasn’t being very fair to you Dean. I just...didn’t know any other way.”

Dean sighed. “I’m not going anywhere, Sam.”

Sam slouched back. “But see, I feel like I’m a dead weight. Like, if I wasn’t here, you could sell the house and go to Massachusetts with Cas.”

Dean’s eyes grew wide and he had to chuckle at the matching look on Cas’ face. “I think you’re jumping the gun there, Sammy.”

“I just mean, if things work out...which they seem to be really working out...then, you might want to leave.”

“Or I might want to stay,” Cas offered, making Dean’s eyebrows jump again.

“Oh!” Sam sat back in just as much surprise. “I never thought of that.”

Cas gave Dean a sheepish look. “It’s crossed my mind. I do really enjoy being here with you. Both of you.”

Sam sat up a bit straighter. “I’m...” he glanced at Dean nervously, “really glad to hear that.”

“Me too,” Dean admitted. His head felt really, really full. 

Cas nodded, blushing slightly. “I’m gonna go get a shower,” he said, standing up. “I hope the two of you continue to talk. Now and in the future.”

Dean watched him walk out with a little grin. He turned back to Sam, who was also grinning. “He’s pretty damn cute sometimes.”

“Yeah,” Sam chuckled. He took a bite of his toast, chewing slowly. “Sorry for saying all that shit about you having parties and keeping beer in the fridge. You never get drunk. It’s not like you have a problem. I was just...mad.”

Dean nodded. “I’ll, uh, finish what’s in there and not restock it.”

“No, Dean,” Sam argued.

“No,” he stopped him. “I don’t even care. And God forbid Child Services shows up and finds it. I’d definitely be in for it then.”

Sam nodded.

“You know, Sam, coming here, being your guardian...it’s not a punishment to me. I had a harder time leaving you than I did coming back. You’re my brother. I’m never not gonna be here for you.”

Sam took another bite of bread. “I’m just sorry your plans got interrupted.”

Dean sighed. “School will still be there. It’s not like I applied. I’d be at my apartment. Working. Maybe I’ll get to it someday. Maybe not. Hell, I don’t know. I didn’t know before Dad died either, so...stop feeling responsible for taking something from me.”

“Okay, fair enough,” Sam said, perking up a bit. “So, what if I told you I don’t think I want to go away for college.”

Dean frowned at that. “Why? Why would you stay here?”

Sam laughed short, as if Dean had lost his mind. “What if I leave and something happens to you? I can’t! Dean...I can’t! I just...I don’t want to go anywhere! What if something happens to Bobby?” He pushed his hand back through his hair, looking more anxious by the second.

“Hey,” Dean snapped, making him look at him. “If you want to stay here, do college local, then that’s fine. But Sam... you can’t miss out on your own life because you’re afraid of losing me. I’m not going anywhere.”

“That’s what I thought about Dad and Naomi. I seriously thought we had a solid thing here. Dean...it’s just...all gone.”

Dean nodded, his heart breaking for his little brother. Cas had been right. The losses in Sam’s life had been too much.

“How ‘bout this, Sam, you keep your options open. Then you do what you want. It’s your life. I’m not pushing you out the door. Shit, you can live with me forever. I don’t care. But...a time will come when you’re ready. And I don’t want you to feel like you missed something.”

Sam sighed, looking relieved. “Okay. Sounds fair.”

Dean nodded. If Cas hadn’t pushed for this, who knew how long it would have taken for them to sit down and hash this shit out.

“Can we talk about one more thing?” Sam asked.

“We’re gonna talk about a few things. What?”

Sam gave him a questioning look, but frowned, back to whatever he was about to say.

“So... you asked me about selling the house.”

Dean winced. “Yeah. I didn’t realize just what all you were dealing with. It’s not a big deal. We’re fine here.”

Sam nodded, biting his lip. “I noticed you still aren’t sleeping in Dad’s room. Is it...is it that bad?”

Dean sighed, deflating. He stared over at the counter, thinking. Remembering. “Remember I told you I have three memories of Mom?”

“Yeah?”

“I remember her making me lunch. Soup. And she cut the crusts off my sandwich. She was...so pretty. So sweet. She really was. I also remember her singing ‘Hey Jude’ to rock you to sleep.” He frowned down at the table. “I also remember her screaming. I remember their room. After the fire.” A cold stillness filled him, like it always did when he thought back on it. “Hair. I remember picking up her hair from the floor. It was...charred on one end and blonde on the other. I remember thinking...that’s where she died. Right there, mid hair. And I asked Dad if her hair would be shorter next time I saw her. I just...didn’t get it. I didn’t understand she wouldn’t be back. Took me a while.”

“I’m so sorry, Dean.”

Dean nodded. “There’s a brand-new floor in there. With carpet on it that Dad picked out. But...I always check it for hair. In case I missed any, ya know? It’s just...I can’t shake it.”

Sam nodded. “I didn’t know you remembered that.”

Dean nodded solemnly. He shrugged, shaking off the memory of her silky, charred hair in his hand. “So, anyway, I’m fine staying here. I just don’t think I can do that room. Maybe. Someday.”

“I wanted to tell you, I’ve thought about it. I’d be okay with moving. If you want.”

Dean grinned sadly. “We’ll see. Maybe next summer. We’re fine for now.”

Sam finished one piece of toast. The bread had to be room temperature and not very good by this point, but he ate it diligently. “What else did you want to talk about?”

“Last night.”

Sam nodded, looking back at his plate. “Guess I’m grounded until I graduate.”

Dean snorted a soft laugh. “Thanks to Cas making me wait and talk about all this...I’m not grounding you at all.”

“What? Why?”

Dean sighed, leaning his elbows on the table, really looking at Sam. “Because. You’ve lost enough. I’ve lost enough. I’m struggling and so are you. You can consider that your one and only pass. I hope we can get better at this shit Sam, because I don’t want to fight with you.”

Sam choked up immediately, getting up. Dean stood, knowing what was coming. Sam landed a big bear hug on him. “I’m sorry!”

“I know,” Dean said, fighting back tears of his own. “Me too. We’ll figure this out, Sammy. It’s gonna be okay.”

Sam squeezed him tighter. “Okay. I’ll do so much better. I’m sorry I was such a jerk. And I’ll fix things with Sarah! Dean, don’t let them take me away!”

Tears slid down Dean’s cheeks. He rocked Sam gently. “That’s not gonna happen, Sam. I promise. It’s gonna be okay.”


	11. Summer Lovin’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things settle into a happy routine at the Winchester house.

Chapter 11: Summer Lovin’

 

Sunday came with a new, lighter energy. Dean got up, singing his way through a shower. As Cas plated pancakes for breakfast, Dean tossed out an idea that had been growing in his mind all morning.

“You guys want to go to Bobby’s and shoot?” He asked, drowning his stack of pancakes in syrup.

“Guns?” Cas asked, almost dropping his butter knife.

“Yeah,” Dean grinned. “Real ones.”

Sam laughed at the incredulous look on Cas’ face. “Sounds fun.”

“Is that...legal?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, Bobby lives outside city limits and we target shoot at his place sometimes.”

Cas swallowed nervously. “I suppose I could try it.”

“You’ve never shot a gun?” Sam asked, looking a little surprised.

“No! I’ve never even held one,” Cas admitted.

“Oh, this’ll be fun,” Dean nodded. “You’re going.”

Cas gave his pancakes a look of total unease, as if they were going to back him up.

Dean reached over, lifting the top edge of his pancake and moved it like a mouth. “Cas is gonna shoot a gun! Awww!” He said in a high-pitched voice.

Cas smirked, poking him gently with his fork. “Not all of us are raised like survivalists.”

Dean chuckled, letting go of it and licking his fingers. “Nothing wrong with being prepared,” Dean laughed.

“Prepared? You probably have a fall-out shelter in the basement!” Cas bantered back, taking the syrup from Dean.

“We do not,” Dean waved him off. “Bobby does though. So, something crazy goes down, everyone meets up at Bobby’s.”

Cas stared at him, mouth agape. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” Sam laughed. “It’s the real deal. Doomsday proof, stocked with canned food, water, ammo, guns, you name it.”

Cas looked taken aback.

“Laugh if you want,” Dean grinned, cutting into his mess of fluff and syrup, “we’ll be thriving in the fall-out.”

Cas shook his head laughing. “I’m pretty sure you’d be starving after a week.”

Dean, mouth overly full of sugary goodness, gave him a confused look.

Sam burst out laughing, Cas joining him.

“Wasso fuy?”

Sam and Cas laughed even harder. “Bobby better double his stock on food!” Sam added.

Dean rolled his eyes, shoving in another bite. He did have to laugh at himself, especially when Cas gave him a long look with a loaded grin. Dean grinned back, swallowing. “You wanna kiss me right now, don’t you?”

Cas chuckled, their eyes still locked. “I do,” he admitted.

Dean licked his lips, leaning over.

“Guys! I’m right here!” Sam yelled.

Cas chuckled, his mouth meeting Dean’s for a quick kiss.

Sam sighed.

They sat back, both grinning ridiculously. “Don’t worry Sammy. It’s all natural. See, when a boy and another boy-”

“Okay!” Sam laughed, staring pointedly at his plate.

“How did the theme song to My Two Dads go?” Dean asked.

“Oh my God,” Sam groaned, palming his forehead.

“Stop teasing him!” Cas grinned, kicking Dean’s foot under the table.

“Fine!” Dean laughed, digging back into his breakfast. When he looked back up at Sam, he was grinning. “What?”

Sam looked up, glancing between him and Cas. “Nothing. I mean...” he grinned again, “you two are...serious, aren’t you?”

Dean took a drink of his coffee, glancing over at Cas. He sat the mug down, looking back at his brother. “Very.”

“Very?” Sam asked, looking surprised.

Dean looked back at Cas. “I’d say very.”

Those blue eyes settled on him with a soft determination. “I would have to agree.”

“Huh,” Sam said more seriously. “I didn’t realize...” he grinned, seeing something in the pair of them. “Cool.”

Dean smirked, looking back at Cas. “We’re cool.”

“No,” Sam assured him, “you aren’t cool. But it’s cool that you two are...ya know...taking this seriously.”

They finished their breakfast and cleaned up the dishes. He was more serious about Cas than even he had realized. And... oddly...he was good with it.

He grabbed Cas’ hand when he passed by, pulling him back a step to stand in front of him. “If you don’t want to go shooting, I get it. It’s no big deal.”

Cas’ brow crinkled. “No, I want to go. It’s very...interesting.”

“Interesting?” Dean teased. “How about fun or cool or badass?”

Cas crossed his arms over his chest, tipping his chin up slightly. “Firearms are no laughing matter. It will be interesting to see you shoot. And it would be interesting to try it.”

Dean fought off a laugh. “Well...alright then. Field trip, it is.”

Cas quirked a grin at him, moving on to the living room. Dean shook his head. If he had to describe the kind of guy he was looking for, he doubted most of it would fit Cas’ description. But damn if he didn’t press every button in his libido. He was perfect. And Dean couldn’t even really say why. He just...was.

“Let’s load up the car, Sammy!” Dean yelled. He headed to the barely-used office, opening the gun cabinet with the key they kept hidden atop a nearby window frame. He pulled out his favorite shotgun, Sam’s, one of their dad’s, and an old Winchester that had been passed down for generations. Sam took the first two, heading out to the car. Cas stood there watching, stepping forward to take one.

Dean grinned, handing it to him. Cas’ eyes widened. “It’s so heavy!”

Dean grinned. “Yeah.”

Cas turned, looking terrified that it might go off in his hands like damaged dynamite. “Cas,” Dean laughed.

Cas jolted, his eyes widening even more, glued to the gun.

“It isn’t loaded. It’s okay,” he chuckled. Cas looked at him nervously. Dean shrugged. “You should always operate under the assumption that a gun is loaded. But I promise it’s not.”

Cas breathed a little easier. “Are you sure?”

Dean took the gun back, opening the action, slid the bolt back, and looked down the barrel. “Yep. Empty.” He slid the bolt back into place and handed it to Cas.

Cas offered a hand for the fourth rifle and took it a little more confidently.

“Just hang on there,” Dean said, taking three pistols out, tucking the only loaded one into his waistband.

They headed out to the car, where Sam waited at the open trunk. Dean laid the two pistols on a blanket, flopping a corner of it over them. He took the rifles from Cas, laying them on the blanket as well.

“Are you hiding them?” Cas asked, looking curious of every move Dean made.

“No,” he chuckled, “just protecting them from sliding around and getting scratched.”

“Oh,” Cas nodded.

“Be right back. I’m gonna grab some ammo.”

Dean ran inside, filling an old ammo box with the right bullets for the guns they packed. He lugged the heavy box back to the car and put it in the backseat with Sam.

 

*****************************************

 

Cas watched curiously as Dean and Sam loaded gun after gun. He saw how they always kept them pointed away or toward the ground. His fascination grew as the pair slid some open, cocking others. With the handguns, they slid things back or shoved ‘magazines’ into them or fed bullets into barrels. They did it with ease, lying them on a table, all the while, talking and laughing, as if they could do this in their sleep. Bobby was just as adept, bringing more guns and bullets.

Bobby’s house was fascinating. It was a simple blue house tucked into a salvage yard. Every nook and cranny of the house was full of books and mementos from Bobby’s travels. There was so much to explore and so many questions he wanted to ask. He had decided he better pace himself, seeing how private a man Bobby was. 

The salvage yard, like inside the house, seemed full of history. Mangled cars, sad, dilapidated cars, abandoned and stripped over time.

They had hiked through several rows of the metal carnage, arriving at the table they stood around now. Even though they were a tight group and spoke of things he knew little about, he felt comfortable. He did what he could to help and watched them work, trying to glean all he could. All three of them took time to explain things, making him feel included.

They all stopped loading, taking a place on one side of the table.

“Been workin’ on this one for a while,” Bobby said, lifting a handgun. “Jody found it in her husband’s things and it was damn near rusted ta death.”

“Who’s Jody?” Cas asked.

“Friend of the family,” Dean explained. “Her husband passed away like ten years ago. She’s the sheriff and she has a thing for Bobby.”

By Dean’s smirk, Cas knew he was teasing Bobby with that last remark.

“Just ‘cause she likes to cuff me up every now and again, don’t mean she likes me, boy,” Bobby said.

“Foreplay, Bobby, that’s all it is,” Dean snickered.

“Yeah, right,” he scoffed, looking more than wary of the thought. “Let’s see how she’s workin’ now.”

Bobby pointed the gun toward a group of targets they had all set up.

Dean glanced at him at the last second. “Cover-”

Cas staggered back a step, his heart flying up into his throat and his hands covering his ears at the loudest sound he had ever heard.

He stood in shock, hands clamped to his ears as his head rang in a dull, weighty tone. Dean was talking to him, grinning, but he was still trying to swallow and breathe. 

Dean gently pulled his hands from his ears, glaring and saying something to Bobby.

“You okay?” Dean was asking. It sounded like he was miles away in a fog. 

Cas swallowed, opening his jaw to pop his ears. He nodded, not actually sure.

“Just ‘cause you can’t hear for shit anymore doesn’t mean the rest of us want to go deaf!” Dean yelled at Bobby.

“Sorry, princess,” he smirked. “Get your ears on then.”

Cas blinked rapidly, his hearing normalizing. “That was loud!”

They all put noise cancelling headphones on that let them hear each other talk but canceled the loud bang of firing the guns.

“Well, it’s shooting better than last time. Last time I shot it, it damn near took my hand off,” Bobby went on. “Still needs some work though.”

The three men took turns shooting at cans, bottles, and paper plate targets. After a few rounds, Dean waved him over. “You wanna try?”

Cas looked at the gun nervously. “Yes.”

Dean waved him over. Cas stepped beside him, watching every move he made with the gun. “Ya hold it like this,” Dean explained. “Use your thumb to pull the hammer back. Now it’s cocked. You aim and... squeeze.” The gun banged and Cas jumped slightly, grinning at Dean. Dean grinned back, opening his arms for Cas to step into his space. He seemed particular about everything from his feet, to his hips, to his elbows, and finally, he handed him the gun.

Cas marveled at the weight of it. At the sheer power that was now at his fingertips. His breath caught and he licked his dry lips. Dean’s hands modeled his own, explaining to pull the hammer back. He could feel things move inside the gun itself as he pulled the metal bracket back. He was twice as nervous now, knowing it was primed to fire.

“It’s gonna kick,” Dean told him. “You just hold it steady. You control the gun. Ready?”

Cas nodded, feeling Dean’s hand slide up to his shoulder. “Relax your shoulders but hold them strong. You know what I mean?”

Cas nodded, hoping he did. 

Dean’s hand slid back down to his. “Now, look at your target and line up that little notch to what you want to hit.” His index finger slid over Cas’. “When you’re ready, squeeze.”

Dean stepped back and Cas immediately felt cold along his shoulders, missing his warmth. Sam and Bobby stood to the side, watching him.

He looked at a paper plate, lining the notch up. He took a deep breath, steadying his hands, lining up the notch again. Everything narrowed to the target and the notch.

He squeezed.

The gun jumped with a small jolt.

“Holy shit!” Sam laughed. “Bullseye!”

“Damn!” Dean laughed, patting his shoulder.

Cas grinned at the tiny little hole in the center of the plate. “Now what?”

“Do it again!” Dean laughed.

Cas adjusted his feet, hips, elbows, pulled the hammer back, set his shoulders, lined up the notch, and squeezed.

“YES!” Sam yelled.

Cas grinned at Dean. Glowing with an eager pride, Dean clapped and pointed at a bottle another fifty feet away.

Cas licked his lips. He stared at the bottle, setting his feet, hips, elbows, lined it up, and squeezed.

“Yeah!!” All three cheered when the bottle erupted into shards of glass.

“This is very fun!” Cas grinned.

“We got us a sharpshooter!” Bobby grinned.

Cas scanned the junkyard, firing the rest of the clip one by one, never missing.

He enjoyed the rifles just as much, liking lining things up in the crosshairs of the scope. He could shoot much further, still hitting the targets dead center every time. He did not care for the harsh kick of one of them, but kept his accuracy on point with all of them.

It was almost dark when they had cleaned the guns and put them away. They went to the Roadhouse for a late dinner and Cas was thrilled with what he knew was now a new hobby. There was something so invigorating about hitting the targets. The precision and the detail.

 

When they got home, putting the guns away, Cas went to bed with Dean. As they undressed, Cas couldn’t help but grin.

“What?” Dean asked, grinning back.

Cas slid into the bed. “There was something about watching you shoot that...was very hot.”

Dean crawled in next to him. “Oh yeah? You mean like...more than ‘interesting’?”

Cas laughed at his teasing. “I was thinking it was pretty badass.”

Dean smirked. “You looked pretty damn good out there yourself.”

Cas closed his eyes, waiting for the soft land of Dean’s lips on his. When they did, he breathed him in long and slow. “You smell like gunpowder.”

“So do you,” Dean murmured back.

 

****************************************************

 

July moved on with lazy days filled with Cas teaching Sam how to cook, swimming at the lake and the local pool, shooting at Bobby’s, dinners outside on the picnic table, and late-night movies.

Cas got to know all Sam’s friends, even Brady, who he only met twice, giving him what Sam described as a cold shoulder. Sarah’s parents never pressed charges. Although Sam had apologized to her parents, he was still unwelcome for the most part. He and Sarah fizzled out and Sam seemed quite fine with it. Sam had become the brother Cas never had. They even managed to get into some trouble together, driving Dean insane with their constant projects around the house.

He and Dean got to know each other better as well. Dean’s steady reassurance and devilish grin was more than enough to convince Cas that he was here to stay. He kept the thoughts to himself, worried he might freak Dean out by latching on too quickly, but he already knew in his heart that Dean was the one.

 

By the end of July, all the bedrooms had been repainted. The light fixtures in the bathroom had been replaced along with all the hardware to the cabinets in the kitchen.

They talked Dean into taking off work for a whole week and enjoyed a rather comical road trip to Charlie’s weird Uncle Brennan’s in Elwood, Indiana. The man believed in aliens. And fairies. And so did his whack-a-doodle neighbor, who insisted on having them over for tea. Uncle Brennan was quirky, to be polite. Charlie had warned them all before they planned the trip. But seeing the place (and its people) for themselves had sealed the deal. The whole town seemed just a little off. They all agreed this side of her family was what gave Charlie her pixie-like qualities. 

After that, they visited Naomi’s grave in her hometown.

Cas was glad to see it was well maintained and the smell of fresh cut grass would probably always make him think of her. He had smelled it at her funeral in the raw months of spring and thought of her every time he smelled it since. Although it was a sobering few hours to their trip, it bonded them all the stronger. Sam told him more stories of how funny she had been with John. How they had so oddly made a great couple. And how she made him do things no one had, like eat vegetables, and curb his temper.

It was while he was standing there, staring at the stark, white stone of her grave, that he connected the stone to the stark, white desk and walls in the nightmares he had of her so long ago. Hair pulled back harshly, like in her casket. That was the Naomi of the Novak family. His mom was so much softer, hair down, long and blonde. She would always carry herself with the grace of a lady, but the Novak’s were stiff and hard. She had fought them from the time she was a teenager. Their cruel, unforgiving nature was no match for her kind nature. “I’m getting her out of there,” he had said, eliciting a startled look of worry from Dean, Sam, and Charlie.

“I’ll petition the court if I have to. I’m having her body exhumed and cremated. It’s what she wanted.” The moment he spoke the words, he felt a relief settle across his shoulders. 

Dean nodded. “I’ll dig it myself if they won’t,” Dean swore.

“They will. They think they own the world. But I’ve got plenty of friends in the law program at Harvard that could chew them up and spit them out.”

 

They headed home to Kansas after that. They tortured Dean with Taylor Swift songs (which Cas new damn well he enjoyed, no matter what he said), and they all (even Sam with his new license) drove the Impala. They ate crappy food and shared a motel room every night. Not once did Cas wish for space or wish to be alone. Not since his Junior year spending time with Gabe and Anna had he felt this way. Even more so. He could picture holidays coming up. Next summer. The rest of their lives. Two months ago, he could barely manage to get out of bed. He had no idea what the rest of his life was for. He felt aimless, alone, and sad. Now, he was busy, happy, and full of hope. And in love. So very, very in love.


	12. Holding On Tight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summer is winding down. Can Cas actually go back to school? Or will he find a way to stay?  
> Either way, hot smut headed your way!

Chapter 12: Holding On Tight

 

Dean watched as Cas walked across the parking lot. A faint chill trickled down his spine. Cas looked tight and stiff. His face looked pale. Maybe he wasn’t feeling well. Dean’s stomach twisted sharply, knowing that probably wasn’t the case. He was sad. It was written all over his body. He had not seen him look like that since his first few weeks here.

Cas pulled the passenger door open, sliding in.

“Hello,” he said weakly.

“Hey,” Dean answered.

They headed home, but still, Cas’ mood did not shake. Sam was at his friend’s and they went into the kitchen to make dinner. They moved quietly and easily around each other, settling for sandwiches.

Seeing Cas’ somber mood was not going anywhere, he put his sandwich down. “What’s the matter Cas?”

Cas sighed heavily. “I put in my two-week notice today.”

It was like the information did not quite compute. Why would you do that? No. No, no, no...

“Dean, I’m supposed to be back in Cambridge by the 16th.”

It was August 2nd. He knew this was coming. They never talked about it. But he knew Cas went back to school soon. He hated the numbers though. The math. Two weeks was all they had left. “Right.”

Cas put his untouched sandwich down. “I don’t want to go,” he said softly, his eyes getting red around the rims. “I don’t think I can do it.”

Dean reached over, taking his hand firmly. “You have to, right?”

Cas nodded, pushing his plate away. “I called my head professor last week. He said I can’t finish from home. From here. They don’t have the classes I need online. And...” a tear slid down one cheek as he stared at the table, “if I don’t complete my thesis classes, I’ll lose two of my scholarships.”

Dean felt himself splintering inside. He wanted to tell Cas to just fuck it all. Stay here. Change his name. Forget about all that. Stay here and he would take care of him. But he knew none of this was realistic or possible. He licked his lips and squeezed Cas’ hand more firmly. “So, you gotta do it. You’ll be fine. You’re doing so much better now, Cas. And your project is done. You’re gonna be fine!”

Cas shook his head slightly, looking totally unconvinced.

Dean knew he was ill-equipped for a talk like this. “You know your mom would want you to keep going, Cas.”

Cas finally looked at him. “This has nothing to do with my mom. I don’t want to leave you, Dean.”

Dean nodded, fighting back tears of his own. “I...I need you to go, Cas. Go do your thing. It’s just a year. Ya know? Not even! It’s...nine months.”

Cas bit his lips together, nodding miserably. 

“So...I gotta ask, just out of curiosity, how much debt are you gonna have?” Dean figured if he changed the subject to something more concrete, he could avoid the panic rising in his chest. Cas was leaving. He was leaving. Things could change between them.

“Uh...” Cas pulled his hand away, wiping his face and blowing out a breath. “I will owe around $25,000.”

Dean nodded, like that was manageable. “So...like a really, really nice car payment.” He forced out a little laugh.

Cas nodded, giving him a weak smile. “If I don’t fulfill my scholarships, it’ll be like a really nice house payment. And no job to support it.”

The reality of that cemented some things in Dean’s mind. Cas had to go back.

“I’ll be living off campus with Anna and Gabe. That will help. I hope.”

“Why wouldn’t it?” Dean asked, not really understanding the difference.

“Gabe can be very distracting. But it’ll be fine. He’s doing his last year of medical school. Then he leaves for his fellowships.”

Dean’s thoughts tripped to a stop. “The Gabe I know?”

Cas laughed. “Yes. He’s very smart, actually. He just...hides it well.”

Dean sat back baffled. “You’re fucking with me.”

Cas laughed a little harder. “No, he’s going to be a doctor.”

“A doctor doctor,” Dean leaned forward, still not sure if Cas was messing with him.

“Yes! White lab coat, scrubs, medical license. Doctor.”

“That’s the craziest thing I ever heard.”

Cas shook his head. “I’ll be sure to tell him you said that.”

Dean’s eyes widened. “Didn’t you tell me he lost all his clothes one time playing poker and walked seven blocks naked back to his dorm?”

“I did.”

Dean shook his head in bewilderment. “I did NOT see that coming.” He stared for a moment. “What’s Anna gonna be? A rocket scientist?”

“She is studying psychology. She is hoping to be a child psychologist.”

“Wow.” Dean sat back again. Big fancy jobs. All of them, all three of them were headed for careers that put them in another world than the one he and Sam lived in. A world of six figure salaries, country clubs, and huge houses.

“Dean?” Cas asked softly. “Dean, please don’t let this break us. I won’t go. I can see it in your eyes. And I don’t blame you for hating me for leaving, but-”

Dean held a hand up, stopping him. “I do not hate you. God, Cas. How could I hate you for finishing school? What kind of dick would that be? I just...”. He pursed his lips, shaking his head. “I think you should go, Cas. You got shit to do. So do I.”

Cas tried to hide a slightly hurt look in his eyes. “I don’t want to miss Sam’s senior year either.”

Dean got up from the table. “You’re not going to Mars. We can still talk. You and Sam can talk. Every day.” He dumped his plate in the trash and headed out to the porch. “I gotta wash the car.”

He knew he should have said other things. Handled this better. But more than that, he didn’t want to say the wrong things. His gut told him to break up with Cas and set him free of this anchor of a house and his deadbeat self. Family was family. He’d always be welcome here, but...he could do so much better elsewhere. A cold slate of dread, life-sucking energy wedged itself in his chest. He needed to let Cas go.

 

************************************************

 

Cas wrote the date on the check he was mailing for his part of the rent for the apartment in Cambridge. August 8th. He had one week left with Dean and Sam. He had not talked to Dean about Massachusetts all week. He was terrified to bring it up again. They had made love that night, but the look on Dean’s face when he had gone to wash his car was one of the scariest he had ever seen. He was shutting down. Shutting him out. And who the hell could blame him? He’d lost so much already.

He tucked the check into the envelope and put it in the mailbox. The house was quiet. Dean was at work and Sam was watching Netflix. He sat down on the couch, staring at the mermaid figurine his mother had bought. He felt so different from when he had first arrived here. 

He texted Charlie and Benny, telling them to keep an eye on Dean. He could see him holding back. He understood it. But he hated it. It hurt. All he wanted to do was cling tighter, make every moment left count. But Dean was working like normal and acting like nothing was happening. And shutting him down. He wanted to make sure Dean knew he meant damn well to come back here and pick right back up where they were. But he was also afraid of what Dean might do. He could be rash and self-sabotaging sometimes. He would not be totally shocked if Dean broke up with him.

His stomach was tense, and he had barely eaten the last few days. He felt like he was leaving for war.

Six days before he was to leave, he and Sam went school shopping. Cas insisted on buying Sam a new printer and another $80 in school supplies. Sam insisted Cas get more jeans and better shoes.

Five days before he was to leave, Charlie and Benny took him out to the Roadhouse for burgers and beers since Dean was working late.

Four days before he was to leave, Cas scoured the internet for another way. There had to be a way out of leaving.

Three days before he was to leave, he asked Sam to stay at a friend’s house so he and Dean could have an evening together. He went out on a limb, pushing himself to share more of his inner self than he ever had before. 

Dean came in from work, dropping his keys on the table inside the door. “Hey, I’m home.” He could hear the flat tone in Dean’s voice. And that was when it hit Cas like a ton of bricks. Dean was so worried because he cared SO much. Heat crept up his cheeks as he took a seat at the table. “Dinner’s ready!” He yelled.

“Be there in a minute. Just gonna change.”

Cas glanced around the kitchen one more time. The blinds were closed, the food was ready. It was one of Dean’s favorite meals, meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and green beans. Okay, the green beans he could take or leave, but he loved it anyway.

Dean came into the kitchen after a quick shower and change. “Smells good.” He stopped, kissing Cas chastely.

“Good, I made it just for you,” Cas admitted. 

Dean’s eyes stopped on Cas. He sat the mail in his hands down distractedly on the counter as he his eyes ran up and down Cas’ chest. His mouth twitched at the corner. “What are you doing?”

“Me?” Cas asked innocently. “Waiting for you.”

“Are you naked?” Dean glanced under the table, standing up straight with a curious grin.

“Not yet.” Cas was only wearing jeans. He knew this would throw Dean off.

He could see Dean struggle to let his wall down. To let himself have fun. He glanced at the closed blinds. “You’re gonna eat without a shirt on?” Dean asked, an unmistakable drag to his voice and a peek of pink tongue wetting his lip.

“Yes.” He knew he was not hiding the fact that he was hiding something very well, but Dean obliged him, sitting down.

For the first time in days, Cas was starving. He loaded his plate. Dean did the same, watching him suspiciously.

With food, Dean relaxed. After a few minutes, both of them eating, Cas picked up a tea towel he had covering something. “Oh, I have a gift for you.” Licking gravy off his lips, he handed Dean the small box.

Dean immediately tensed again, probably assuming this was some kind of going away gift. And he supposed it was, of sorts. Dean licked his own lips, taking the box.

Cas bit his lip nervously as Dean opened it. 

He pulled the thin remote out of the box. “What is this?”

There was no going back now. Either Dean would love it, or he would flat out dump him now for being too much.

“It’s a remote-control for a plug.”

Dean’s eyes jumped to his. “A plug.”

Cas nodded, eyes a bit wide, biting his bottom lip again. “A... plug.”

Dean looked at the box. “But...where’s the plug?”

Cas blushed profusely.

Dean angled himself fully toward Cas, leaning closer. “Are you wearing a plug?”

Cas nodded, unable to hide his shy grin.

Dean’s eyes narrowed and his devilish grin flashed. He pressed a button and Cas’ ass immediately vibrated. He gasped, adjusting his seat, staring at Dean. Dean’s mouth was open, watching him with an immediate look of hunger that had nothing to do with his half-a-plate of dinner left.

Cas’ breathing quickened and he bit his lip again.

Dean turned it up and Cas’ eyes closed as he felt his dick hardening in his jeans.

“Fuck,” Dean swore low. “You are so gorgeous.”

Cas blushed harder, letting a moan slip out, followed by another gasp.

Dean turned it down and Cas breathed out, opening his eyes. His insides trembled, hotly.

Dean’s wall was gone. He was completely Cas’ again. “I think I like this toy.”

Cas laughed, gasping again slightly. “Me too!”

“You look like you’re enjoying it.” Dean licked his lips, turning it off.

Cas breathed out, wiping his forehead.

Dean grinned hard. “So...we gonna finish dinner like this? Me just-” he flicked it on, Cas gasping again, “fuckin’ with you?” He turned it off.

“Yes,” Cas panted softly.

Dean grinned. “I’ll try not make you choke.”

Cas laughed. Okay, so Dean definitely liked the plug!

Dean slid back into place at the table, grin permanently in place and little remote permanently in hand. They continued eating.

After another few bites, Cas felt the gentle vibration in his full ass. He immediately flushed, eyes darting to Dean.

“You blush all the way down to your chest,” Dean marveled. He bumped it up a notch and Cas moaned, squirming in his seat. Dean watched him, completely captivated. “God, Cas...I hope you plan on letting me take that out and-”

“Yes!” Cas groaned, unable to think too clearly. 

Dean chuckled low, turning it off.

Cas went limp, elbow resting on the table as he breathed hard. He squirmed again, still sensitized and he wanted Dean to fuck him so bad.

“So,” Dean grinned, going back to his plate to start eating, “we had this nice car in today. It’s an old Challenger.”

Cas panted, staring at Dean, just shy of distressed.

Dean grinned wickedly, taking a big bite. He motioned for Cas to continue eating, so he did. “So,” he went on, obviously taunting him, “I was talkin’ to the guy and was like, hey!” 

Cas felt the vibration come on again. He dropped his fork, not gasping this time, but swiping a finger through his mashed potatoes to suck it off as Dean watched him, trying not to get thrown off.

Dean licked his lips, eating a forkful of potatoes as he went on. “I said, this car needs a lot of work. Are you interested in selling it?”

Cas picked up his last bite of meatloaf, eating it, maybe dragging his fingers down his lip a little unnecessarily.

Dean flipped it up a notch and Cas moaned outright.

Dean flipped it off and Cas stared at him, his hips still undulating gently.

“I bought it,” Dean said, his eyes roving over Cas’ entire body as it moved.

“Bought what?” Cas panted.

“The car,” Dean growled, getting out of his chair, turning the plug on low again.

“You bought a car?” Cas asked, unable to comprehend. All he could really think about was Dean coming into his space and the plug lodged in his ass that felt so damn good. “Dean!”

Dean pulled him up to standing. “Look at you,” Dean growled. Cas’ eyes were closed as Dean took his lower jaw in his grip, kissing Cas hard. “You are so fucking hot, I could come just watching you.”

Cas moaned. Standing had changed the plug’s angle and he missed how it had been pressed just right.

“What’sa matter?” Dean asked, grinning, his hands running up Cas’ sides, “you want me to turn it up?”

“Yeah,” Cas moaned, hips brushing against Dean’s, seeking friction.

“Damn, Cas,” Dean kissed him again, his hand sliding down to feel the plug through his jeans. He pressed at it but couldn’t quite reach it. “I wanna see it,” Dean whispered into his ear.

Cas was shattering. He wanted to be fucked more than ever before. Needed it. Craved it. Had to have it!

“Yeah!” Cas panted, he went for his fly, but Dean’s hands beat him there first, his mouth devouring a line down his jaw and neck. “Dean, please, please...”

Dean’s hands froze, and his mouth pulled away from Cas’ neck, shocking him. His eyes blinked into focus, seeing Dean staring at his crotch. 

Cas bit his lip again. His last surprise, the last limb he was out on, was the silky panties he was wearing.

Dean’s eyes jumped up to meet his, full of shock.

His head dropped back as Dean put a full, gentle grip on his cock through the blue satin panties.

Dean’s breath caught hard. One hand still full of Cas’ dick and balls, he ran the other hand down his ass, pushing the jeans away. His hands mapped the silky fabric and kneaded his flesh beneath.

“Dean,” Cas heard himself beg.

“I am gonna fuck you so hard,” Dean said in a shaky voice that gave Cas chills.

Dishes crashed to the floor as Cas was bent over the table. Dean ripped his jeans down, only bothering with one leg. “I hope this is what you were planning for,” Dean panted, one hand smoothing up his back, the other gripping his hip. He could feel Dean press his hard dick into the plug.

“Yes,” Cas gasped, “I wanted to drive you crazy!”

“So fucking crazy,” Dean moaned, licking and biting his neck while his hand on his back slid down under the panties to grab the plug.

Cas thought he might rip it out, but no, Dean wasn’t done having fun with it yet. He edged the panties down, standing behind him to fuck the plug into him. “Got more lube?”

Cas felt around on the table, handing him a bottle.

He heard Dean’s jeans unzip. “Keepin’ lube on the table for dinner?” Dean chuckled. “You did want to be fucked on the table!”

Cas moaned loudly. He was so hard he was dripping and throbbing. He had never had wild sex like this before. He gasped at what he and Dean must look like. His own plate was on the floor, Dean’s too. The bowl of mashed potatoes teetered on the edge. He grabbed at it, shoving it toward the middle, needing to brace with both hands or be driven into the table top.

“So fucking perfect,” Dean was saying, sliding the plug out finally. He turned it off and Cas wilted slightly. “What’sa matter, you miss it?” Dean growled. 

Cas nodded, his cheek sliding on the table. His eyes shut and he opened his legs wider as Dean slid in hot, warm, and real. An immense improvement over the hard plug.

“Oh my God,” he growled.

“What?” Dean froze. “Too much?”

“No! Fuck me!” Cas gasped. “Hard!”

Dean slid in and out quicker, harder, slapping into him from behind. “Still got your pretty panties on,” Dean huffed.

Cas knew that must be what was pulling on his hip, grinding in and only adding to the storm of sensation.

“You’re so fucking hot, Cas,” Dean growled, the table jolted with every thrust, dishes clattering, and drinks falling. Cas could feel himself building a pressure like never before. He gripped the table, desperate to grab himself. But every time he tried, he would slide. Unwilling to ruin the pounding, he held on, eyes unfocused as sparks flew through his vision.

“Dean! Dean! Fu-! Harder!”

Dean lifted Cas’ leg, changing the angle, fucking in so deep Cas was beyond words or function. The spiral building inside him screamed for release until he was screaming, writhing, and coming untouched all over the place.

Dean huffed, collapsing on top of him, the last of his orgasm pulsing through his dick. Dean rested his sweaty forehead in the middle of Cas’ back, pulling out with shaking arms.

His hands were instantly gentle. He staggered to a standing position, collecting Cas off the table. “You good?” He whispered.

He sat down in Cas’ chair, pulling him onto his lap. His shirt was gone, but his jeans were around his knees, belt jingling with every move.

“M good,” Cas sighed, heavily, melting into Dean’s chest.

Dean kissed him and started laughing. “You taste like gravy. You...”

Cas opened his eyes, looking up at Dean who was laughing. But he could see the tears coming. He sat up, slightly alarmed, swinging his leg around to straddle him.

“You taste like gravy!” Dean laughed again, this time he broke hard, pulling Cas into him in a crushing hug. “I don’t want you to go! You’re perfect! We can just stay this way! Can’t we?” He pulled back, his eyes bright with tears. “Can’t we, Cas? You’re just...you taste like gravy, you-”

“I love you, Dean,” Cas insisted, wiping the few tears away. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. And I’ll do whatever we need to do to make this work.”

“You promise?” Dean asked, his eyes clawing their way into Cas’ soul.

“I promise.”

Dean took a sudden, deep breath, pulling himself together. “Shit! I cried! After sex! Oh my god, I’m one of those guys!”

“Shut up,” Cas laughed.

Dean hugged Cas to him again, his breath evening. “I love you too, Cas. So much it scares me.”

Cas pulled his way out of the hug to kiss him. 

“Thank you,” Dean whispered, “for dinner. For you. For making me talk.”

Cas rolled his head against Dean’s with a grin. “This should make for interesting communication in the future. When you start clamming up, I’ll just serve dinner with a plug in.”

They both laughed. Dean combed mashed potato out of Cas’ hair and they both began to feel the chill of the air conditioning.

“Let’s get you in the shower,” Dean coaxed. He stood up, making Cas giggle and wrap his legs around his waist tighter. 

“Wait!” His laugh died. “The kitchen.”

Dean sighed, dropping Cas to his bare feet. “Those mashed potatoes are not salvageable. You had your hand in them more than once,” Dean laughed.

“I was trying to grab myself,” Cas explained. He picked the plates up off the floor, moving gingerly while Dean wiped the floor. 

“I know you were.” Dean tossed the messy cloth into the sink. “Come on, the rest can wait. I’ll do it in the morning. Promise.” He slid his arms around Cas hips, his hands going into his open jeans, cupping him through his panties. “I like these,” he growled into Cas’ neck. They made your ass look...mmm!”

Cas’ head tipped back, Dean taking the opening with his mouth. Cas wilted in his arms, already weak from earlier. “Shower,” he whispered back.

“Then bed,” Dean added.

In the fuzzy haze of his thoughts, he frowned. “Did you say you bought a car?”

Dean laughed. “I did. A fixer-upper for Sam.”

Cas sighed sleepily. “That’s nice.”

 

*************************************************

 

Dean woke the next morning with mixed emotions. He had been doing so well, keeping himself in check, not letting his monsters out. His biggest, ugliest monster was an angry lump that was mad he found something so right and it was leaving. His sidekick, the whiny bitch that just wanted Cas to stay here with him, was relentless too. Now, in the dim light of morning, he could pack them away again. Not because he was saving them for later, like before, but because he knew they were wrong.

Cas had to go.

And it was going to be okay.

They were all going to be okay.

He held onto that mantra as he untangled himself from Cas’ sleepy, warm body, kissing him lightly. He eased out of bed and pulled on pajama pants, heading for the scene of mayhem in the kitchen. He grinned at the spilled, half-cleaned-up gravy. The smears of mashed potatoes that had turned to little concrete mountain-scapes. The meatloaf, done for from sitting out all night. And the undisturbed pot of green beans.

Cas had been perfect in every way. From the moment he arrived on their doorstep to the taste of gravy on his skin. And if he kept his shit together, they were going to be okay.

He scrubbed the table, floor, and chair with Clorox cleaner. He soaked some of the dishes, washing the others.

He headed back upstairs with two cups of coffee and shut the bedroom door. Cas was just sitting up in bed when he came in. “Morning, sunshine.”

“Morning,” Cas grinned, blushing and falling back into the bed.

“Kitchen is spotless, and here’s some caffeine.”

Cas took his mug with the angel wing on it and scooted up in bed. It was Saturday and they had no plans. This was all he wanted and hoped Cas was good with it.

They spent the morning in bed, talking. He even asked him questions about Harvard and his apartment.

Coffee gone and the debate to get up for breakfast ending in a stalemate with a kiss, Dean held Cas tight to him, studying each finger on his hands.

“Should I go?” Cas asked, not looking at him.

“To school?”

Cas nodded.

“Yeah. You should. Get it over with so we can...figure out what to do next.”

“I don’t want to go.”

“I know,” Dean whispered. “I don’t want you to either, but that’s what we’re gonna do Cas. You’re gonna go to school. Sam’s gonna graduate. And I’m gonna work and save money. After that? No clue.”

Cas turned his body, looking up at him. “Let’s talk about it. When I’m away. We can make plans. I’ll find a job and...” he sighed, his head drooping down. “What if I can’t get a job using my degree?”

“Then you’ll work at the Gas-n-Sip until the right job comes along, and we’ll figure it out, Cas.”

Cas sighed, relaxing into him. It made Dean grin that Cas had such faith and trust in him. It made him want to work all the harder.

 

One day before Cas was to leave for school, he packed. He left most of his summer clothes behind. It made Dean feel better that he was leaving things here. That he would be back for them. He and Cas and Sam spent the day together.

 

The day Cas was to leave for school, Dean and Sam drove him to the airport. They had managed to keep things light all morning. Cas checked a suitcase he had borrowed from Dean, which had been his dad’s. He stepped away from the counter with his ticket, ID, and phone in hand, small backpack on his shoulder.

Shit.

They walked toward the long lines to wait for the TSA inspection.

Cas stopped a few feet away, Sam giving him a worried look. Cas was looking rather pale and shaky. “Dean.”

Dean took a deep breath, exchanging a quick look with Sam, whose eyes immediately started to water.

“Dean,” Cas turned to him, chest rising quickly and eyes red-rimmed, “I can’t go.”

“Yes, you can,” Dean grinned, shoving his own tears down so harshly it physically hurt. He hugged Cas to him, knowing this was going to suck.

“I’m not going!” Cas whispered hoarsely.

Dean rocked him in his arms, his head tucked tight against Cas’. “Everything is going to be fine,” he whispered back. “You got this, Cas.” He pulled back, keeping Cas at arm’s length until he would meet his eyes. “You got this!”

Cas frowned so hard it broke Dean’s heart. He heard Sam sniffle beside him and firmed his jaw even more. “You’re gonna make Sam cry. I don’t know if I can handle that, Cas.”

The pleading look on Cas’ face tempered. He glanced over at Sam, who was not watching them, but standing just to the side. The plea to stay slipped away and a look of obligation made him pull himself together. “Sorry,” he whispered.

Dean nodded. “So, you call, when you land,” Dean managed, his voice shaking.

“I will.” He stepped back. “Sorry, Sam.”

Sam, tears running down his cheeks, wiped them off. “See you at Christmas.”

“Yeah,” Cas nodded, giving him a watery, brave smile.

Cas took a few steps back, glanced at the TSA line and turned back to Dean. If he so much as hinted at him staying here, he knew Cas would walk away from everything to stay.

Dean waved.

Cas turned, taking a few steps toward the line but stopped.

Fuck.

Cas turned back around, still fighting to keep himself together. He walked back to Sam, hugging him. “I love you, Sam.”

“Love you too,” he heard Sam say, muffled and tearful, hugging him back. “I’m gonna miss you so much.”

“Me too.” Cas pulled back, kissing Sam on the cheek. “Be good.”

“I will.”

He stepped back to Dean, taking a deep breath. He stared straight into his eyes. “You know I love you?”

“I know,” Dean grinned, wiping his wet cheek off. “I love you more.”

“Take good care of Sammy.”

“I always do,” Dean grinned.

Cas hugged him, kissed him, and left.


	13. The Great Divide

Chapter 13: The Great Divide

 

Cas was not too proud of his meltdown at the airport. He had texted apologies to both Sam and Dean, to which they forgave him easily, but the damage was done. He stared emptily out the plane window. There was no changing his course now.

He exited the terminal, hiking his backpack a little higher. The (now unfamiliar thanks to Dean and Sam) chill of being alone crouched heavily on his shoulders.

He stumbled to the side in a blur of sandy-brown hair and loud, smacking kisses to his cheek.

“CASSIE!” 

Cas staggered a step, shocked to have Gabe wrapped around him. “Gabe! Holy shit!”

Gabe squished his head, kissing him loudly again. “I’m so glad you’re back!”

“I see that,” Cas laughed, stepping back. 

Anna gave him a wave and a normal hug.

“What are you two doing here?” Cas asked, shocked to see either of them.

“We wanted to be here when you landed!” Anna grinned, taking his arm and hugging it to her as they walked toward the baggage claim.

“Who sent you?” Cas asked.

Anna shrugged mischievously.

“Sam,” Gabe grinned, stuffing a Reese’s cup in his mouth.

Cas shook his head. 

“He says you are in no way allowed to show up to your apartment the way you showed up at their house in May.”

May. It seemed a lifetime ago.

“Mission accomplished,” Cas admitted, pulling Gabe in to put his arm around him.

 

********************************

 

August was a bitch. All two weeks of it. Cas found living without Dean and Sam felt wrong in every way. He had added two classes to his schedule and was insanely busy from the get-go. 

Between the time change and the schedule change, Cas felt ten steps behind and very overwhelmed.

“You sure this is worth it?” Gabe asked, dropping onto his bed with him. 

Cas sighed, letting the book flop forward onto his chest with a heavy thump. 

“You’re busier than me! That’s just wrong. Come out with us tonight. Just for fun!”

“No,” Cas shoved the book back up. “I’m having dinner with Dean in twenty minutes.”

“Gags!” Gabe smirked, getting to his feet. “Well, I’m going out. And tomorrow you and I are going to the health fair.”

Cas nodded. “And you’re coming to Middlesex Fells Reservation with me on Sunday.”

“Yeah,” Gabe scoffed. “Will I be falling into some sex there?”

“You’re so not funny,” Cas said dryly.

“I’m a riot!” Gabe shouted, heading down the hall.

He had agreed to go to a health fair (a requirement for one of Gabe’s classes) in exchange for Gabe accompanying him on some plant and bee research at a reserve nearby.

Cas jumped when his phone rang. He tossed his book aside, scrambling for it. “Hello?”

“Hi!”

“Hello, Dean!” Cas grinned. 

“Ready to do this?” Dean grinned back.

“Yes!” Cas got up, heading to the kitchen. “What are you making?”

Dean pulled a frozen dinner out of the freezer. “Looks like...Salisbury steak, potatoes, and green beans. Yum.”

Cas shook his head. “Where’s Sam?”

“Working some fund raiser thing for National Honors Society hours. He had leftovers. I did actually cook this week.”

“I’m so proud,” Cas laughed, knowing he was struggling to do that.

“Yeah. It sucked, but I tried. Sam made a pot roast on Monday. We ate on that for a few days. It was good.”

“That’s good. Looks like I’ll be having...Mac and cheese.”

“That’s sad, Cas. Why aren’t you cooking for your roomies?”

“Good question, Dean-O!” Gabe yelled. “Bye!” He shouted, going through the door.

“Gabe’s going to a party,” Cas said, explaining his exit. 

“You could go, ya know,” Dean said quietly. “I trust you, Cas.”

Cas smirked into the camera. “Thanks, but no thanks. I’d much rather be right here.” They exchanged a look, Cas making Dean grin so hard lines crinkled out from his eyes. Someday, when they were old, he’d have creases there from smiling. The thought made Cas melt a little inside.

 

*************************************************

 

“Hey,” Bobby said dryly, flopping a rag down on the car Dean was working on.

“Hey, Bobby,” Dean said, taking the rag, wiping his hands.

“At least it’s not so damn hot in here anymore.”

“Yeah.” Dean closed the hood, checking to see he hadn’t left any handprints on the edge of it. It was September, and fall was slowly moving in. He followed Bobby into the front office to account for the work he had just done. 

“You comin’ over tonight?” Bobby asked.

“Yeah. Sam too.” Dean finished checking off all he had done on the Honda. He could feel Bobby staring at him. He pursed his lips at the constant worry Bobby seemed to be under. He turned, staring the man down. “What?”

Bobby rolled his eyes. He was the only man in his age bracket he knew of that rolled their eyes as effectively as Sam. Or himself. Huh. Maybe it was hereditary. 

“I wanted ta tell ya, I’m invitin’ Jody too.”

Judging by the way Bobby was squirming just to tell him that much, he knew something was up. He laughed, leaning against the counter. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” Bobby stared back at him.

Dean couldn’t help but laugh. “Soooo...she just...out of food or something?”

“Smart ass,” Bobby groused.

“She just had a fine hankering for some lasagna?” Dean laughed.

“She’s comin’. Don’t do anything...weird.”

“Weird!” Dean laughed, “Dude, you’re the weird one! No weird colognes, don’t use a gun for a centerpiece, and-”

“Alright! Alright!” Bobby waved him off, starting to laugh.

Dean followed him back to his personal office, a tiny closet of well organized paperwork. “Has she been over for dinner before?”

“Depends, does gettin’ fast food while in the back of her cruiser count?”

“Uh, no.”

Bobby grinned down at his paperwork, sitting behind his desk. “Yeah, she’s been over for dinner before.”

“Well, well, you sly dog!” Dean grinned from ear to ear. “So, you two are a thing?”

“I suppose.”

“You suppose. So, this is a meet the kids dinner?” Dean chuckled at the possibilities.

Bobby sighed. “Damnit, Dean. She already thinks I’m half a scoundrel. You gotta help me out!”

“Ooohhh!” Dean laughed. “I gotta paint a picture of my dear Uncle Bobby? I can’t wait!” He headed out the door.

“I sign your checks, boy!” Bobby yelled.

Dean only laughed. It was so rare to get Bobby in a compromising position. He called Sam to tell him.

 

They arrived at Bobby’s with garlic bread and salad. Bobby was making the lasagna, and Jody was bringing desert.

Sam was as amused as he was that Bobby was doing a ‘meet the kids’ dinner.

They walked in wearing their best June Cleaver grins. “Hi, Bobby!” Sam strode in, hugging him (which was normal). His face lit up, “Well, hello, Jody!”

Jody smirked, putting her hand on her hip. “Cut the crap, Winchester.”

Sam and Dean laughed. 

“How are ya?” Dean butt in, saving his brother.

“Good. Nice to see you boys.” She gave them a real grin this time. 

They sat down around Bobby’s small table.

“Been a long time since I’ve seen you boys,” Jody said.

“Better stay that way too,” Dean answered, giving Sam a warning look. He knew Sam hated that, but old habits were hard to break.

“I swear, Bobby got taken in by me just so he could get my number,” Jody grinned.

“Damn right,” Bobby grinned proudly.

Dean shook his head. “I tried to tell him you were flirting with him a long time ago. He just didn’t believe me.”

Jody reached over, patting Bobby’s arm. “Stubborn goat.”

Bobby shrugged. “Guess I’m a little slower than I thought.”

 

*******************************************************

 

“There are 31 days in October,” Cas pointed out with a scowl, staring at the 11 on his calendar.

“Yeah?” Anna asked, looking up at him from her book.

“It’s too damn many days,” Cas snapped irritably.

Anna frowned at him with that squint she sometimes got. 

“Don’t psychoanalyze him, Rags. He’s in looooove.” Gabe plopped into the seat next to Cas at the cafe they met at on Thursdays.

“It’s bordering on unhealthy,” she added, going back to her book.

“I’d agree with that,” Cas mused. “I’ve had enough phone/cyber-sex the past two months to start a career in it.”

“And look at you!” Gabe said proudly, “You’ve developed a fallback job! That’s more than we can say.”

“Gabriel,” Anna said flatly. “And quit calling me Rags. It’s so unbecoming.”

“What? Raggedy Ann is just too long sometimes.” Gabe shoveled in a bite of his ice cream sundae.

“Do you eat anything NOT on the dessert menu?” Anna bantered back.

“Hey, I survived my Freshman year on lollipops and pixie sticks. Neither are considered ‘dessert’. And Twizzlers can be filling, when you eat enough.”

“How are you possibly going to be a doctor?” Anna laughed.

“I’m healthy as a horse!” Gabe defended.

Cas, studying his friend with a grin, could not argue that. Gabe was healthy. And annoyingly unperturbed with his college caseload. He was unflappable and Cas gave him a small grin.

“What?” Gabe asked, licking hot fudge from the corner of his mouth.

“I think you’re going to be a wonderful doctor.”

Gabe’s spoon hovered over his tall glass as he gave him a wide grin. “Thanks, Cassie.”

Anna rolled her eyes but grinned all the same.

 

************************************

 

Cas pulled his phone from his pocket, just as his peer class started. He was to be running the class and he waved an apologetic hand at his class. “Hello, Sam.”

“Hey, Cas! Did I catch you at a good time?”

“You did,” he lied. It was unusual to hear from Sam during a school day and he was worried something was wrong.

“So, uh, I think I’m gonna ask that girl, Amy, to homecoming.”

Cas relaxed, glancing at his peer class with more amusement. “Well, that sounds exciting.” He grinned down at his papers, trying to get himself more organized.

“I don’t know if I should even get into a relationship this year though, I mean, if I leave for college...”

“Mm, true. That can be difficult.” His peer class were fellow biology and entomology Freshmen that he tutored and, in general, babysat through their first year. He had a good group of twenty students. “How about I take a poll for you.”

“A what? What do you mean?”

Cas put Sam on speaker. “Listen up guys, this is a very important question I want a vote taken on.”

The group quieted, giving him their full attention. “This,” he held up his phone, “is my little brother. He’s a senior in high school and wants to know if he should get involved in a relationship, even when he knows he’s leaving for college. The question is, should he ask someone to homecoming or not?”

In true Harvard fashion, the students debated, even throwing in some statistics. Cas listened, nodding along. When a conclusion was met, he put the phone closer to his own mouth. “There you have it, Sam. Straight from Ivy League minds. Fourteen say go for it, six say no.”

“Cas, I’m going to kill you,” Sam said flatly.

He chuckled, switching the call back to private. “I figured I might be biased in my opinion, but apparently I’m in the majority. Go for it.”

“You dick,” Sam laughed. “Fine, thanks, I guess.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too, jerk.”

Cas hung up the call with a grin. He quickly got back to work for his group but thanked them for appeasing him.

 

***********************************

 

Dean glared at Benny.

“It’s not my fault you can’t have a beer, brotha,” Benny shook his head as the waitress walked away.

“Yeah, well, I’m gonna hate you for it until January. Then I’ll be over it.”

“It’s crazy to me you ain’t an ‘adult’ yet. Anyone who carries a mortgage, goes to parent night, and works as hard as you do, should automatically be considered an adult.”

“Right?” Dean shook it off. He didn’t care that much. And ever since Sam’s screw up last summer, he didn’t keep beer in the house either. His hypocrisy only went so far.

“Where is Sam tonight?” Benny asked.

“He’s on a date,” Charlie piped in.

Dean didn’t think he made a face, but apparently he did.

“What’sa matta with her?” Benny asked.

“I don’t know. She’s...I feel like she has her claws in him, ya know? I hope he doesn’t lose focus on school.”

“He’s a smart guy, Dean,” Charlie defended. “He’ll be fine.”

Dean nodded. “Hope you’re right. Cas told him to ask her out, now they seem inseparable.”

“How is Cas?” Benny asked.

“Good,” Dean nodded. “Busy. Tired. He always looks so tired. His classes must be insane this semester. The other night, he fell asleep on the phone with me.”

“Aw,” Charlie cooed.

Dean tipped his head, leaning onto his friend. He had watched Cas sleep for a while. He stayed on until Gabe stopped in the room and flipped his light off for him.

“God, I miss him,” Dean admitted.

“I know,” Charlie grinned, snaking an arm around him. “You’re doing so good, not freaking out about him being gone.”

Dean blew out a breath. “Come on Christmas.”

 

**************************************

 

Cas scooped another helping of stuffing onto a tray. He had always worked at a soup kitchen over Thanksgiving. It was something he had done when he was a kid. This was the holiday that he missed his mom the most. She had taught him to be giving. And he was glad to give. But he had to admit, he was wearing thin. His workload was insanely high, and he had done it to himself.

He scooped seven more helpings onto trays before the supervisor pulled him off the line. “You’ve been here for hours, Castiel. You should go be with your own family today.”

“Thanks,” he nodded, heading out of the busy cafeteria. He rode the bus back to his apartment in a daze. He was thankful he did not have class tomorrow. He had seven papers due in the next two weeks and needed every minute he could get to complete them.

Back to his apartment, the smell of meat hit him when he opened the door.

“Finally!” Anna cheered, jumping up. “Come eat, Cas! Gabe and I made turkey, stovetop stuffing, peas, and mashed potatoes!”

“Wow!” Cas laughed, “This looks great!”

“Aaaand,” she pulled a chair out for him at the table, “the Kansas gang is here too! They’re having pie already.”

Cas leaned down to the laptop open on the table. “Hi!”

“Hi!” Sam and Charlie yelled, waving.

Dean swallowed, moving closer to the screen. “Hey, baby, happy thanksgiving.”

Cas’ whole body warmed and relaxed at the sight of him. “Hi, Dean! Happy Thanksgiving.” He was glad to see Dean and Sam with Bobby, Charlie, Jody, and Benny. If Dean was busy, he was happy. It was when he slowed down that he got sad. Cas imagined he’d be the same way, but he was endlessly busy. He tried not to let himself think about the Thanksgiving he would be having if his mom and John were still alive. The thoughts just kept creeping in.

It was noisy and busy, but it did feel like the two groups were able to enjoy some time together.

 

***********************************

 

“Sam, you dweeb.” Dean shook his head, looking back into the screen, making Cas laugh.

“Tell Sam that college finals are all different. It depends on the teacher. Never mind, I’ll tell him tomorrow when I talk to him,” Cas laughed. Sam had asked what college finals were like. “But mostly they’re all just fucking brutal.”

“You look really tired, Cas,” Dean said, looking worried.

“I am,” Cas admitted. “I’m so fucking tired.” He laid his head down on his book. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too. It won’t be long. Hey.” Cas lifted his head, looking into the screen of his laptop, staring into Dean’s eager green eyes. “Next week at this time, you know where you’ll be?”

Cas grinned at his grin. “Where will I be?” He asked, wanting to hear Dean say it.

“Riiiight here.” Dean tilted his phone, showing him patting the couch right next to his thigh, then back to his face. “Right here with me.”

Cas grinned, his eyes watering at the thought. “I can’t wait.”

“Me either.”

Cas laid his head back down, listening to Dean and Sam talk about an assignment Sam had due. He woke up to Gabe shaking his shoulder.

“I doubt you mean to be sleeping,” Gabe said, waving at Dean.

“Shit.” Cas rubbed his face, knowing he looked awful. “Thank you. Sorry, Dean.”

“That’s okay. Damn, Gabe, you look rough too,” Dean noted.

“You should see Anna. She looks cracked out. Finals are fucking killer.”

Cas raised an eyebrow at Gabe. He did look tired and frazzled.

“THREE MORE FUCKING DAYS!” Gabe yelled, walking out of the room.

Cas exchanged a look with Dean.

“Wish I was there,” Dean grinned sadly. “I’d make you eat. And put you to bed.”

Cas grunted a tired laugh. “I appreciate even the thought of that. I gotta go.”

Dean nodded. “I love you.”

“I love you. So much. I can’t wait to get home,” Cas grinned, feeling slightly revitalized.

“Night, Cas. Get some sleep.”

Cas smirked. “I’ll sleep in your bed. Til then, it’s just not worth it.”

Dean gave him a stern look.

“Love you!”

“Love you,” Dean grinned, ending the call.

Cas leaned back in his chair. He scrubbed his hands through his hair and went back to what he had been studying.

 

*************************************

 

Gabe put his earbuds in his backpack as the plane geared down. “Thanks for bringing me home with you for Christmas.”

“I’m glad you’re here,” Cas grinned. “I can’t wait to get out there.” His knee jiggled nervously up and down. Anna put a calming hand on it, making Cas take a deep breath and try to relax. He squeezed her hand, feeling like his heart might explode with every second that ticked by.

He was home. Dean was here. Sam was here.

When the lights finally came on, signaling everyone could get up and exit, it was all Cas could do to not run. He waited, moving with the crowd through the gangway and finally into the terminal.

“Dean!” He yelled, seeing him across the room. He darted through the crowd, seeing Dean run toward him.

Within a few seconds, he had Dean in his arms, hugging him tight, kissing him hard, hearing his voice in his ear.

“So glad you’re home,” Dean kept saying.

Cas couldn’t say anything. He just clung tightly to Dean, feeling him again, like his body was re-registering the feel of Dean’s against him. He felt. So. Good. 

“Dean,” Cas finally managed, leaning back to really look at him. “Hello,” he laughed, kissing him again. They both grinned out of the kiss, hugging once more.

Dean’s hands slid back, capping his shoulders as he stepped back. “You made it!”

“I did!” He looked around. “Where’s Sam?”

“It’s just me. He’s waiting at the house with Charlie and Benny.”

“Okay,” Cas felt out of touch, everything felt surreal. He took Dean’s hand in his, turning to his ignored friends.

“Dean, this is Gabe and Anna.”

“Dean-O!” Gabe grinned, hugging him. “Damn, you’re tall!”

“Good to finally meet you in person, Gabe,” Dean chuckled, the pair hugging. “Both of you,” he added, shaking Anna’s hand.

“You too, Dean,” Anna nodded. “Thank you for having us for the holidays.”

“Yeah! Should be fun!” Dean turned immediately back to Cas, putting an arm around him as they walked to the baggage claim area. 

Cas could not stop looking at Dean, marveling at his warm hand. He grinned happily as he slid into the front seat of the Impala. He laughed as the engine roared to life and Led Zeppelin blared from the tape deck until Dean turned it down.

He was home.

They made the short drive to Lawrence talking almost non-stop.

“This flatness is freaking me out!” Gabe said in horror as he looked out the car window when they were on the highway between towns. “It’s like...unnaturally flat!”

“Gabriel,” Anna chuckled.

“Let’s put it this way,” Cas grinned over his shoulder, “I didn’t come back for the scenery.”

Dean gave him a warm grin.

They pulled along the curb in front of the Winchester’s house. He sighed a with a bone-tired relief.

As he got out of the car, Sam burst out the front door, running down the sidewalk. Cas braced himself, hugging Sam tightly.

“Cas! You’re here!” Sam laughed, half cried, kissing Cas on the temple. “Oh man! I missed you!”

Cas unwrapped his arms, cupping Sam’s face in his hands with wonder. “You look so much older. You look good!” A shocking realization hit him, making him back up a step. “Sam! Are you taller than me?” 

Sam stepped closer, feeling the top of their heads next to each other. “I am!” He laughed.

“Damn it!” Cas laughed. “I can’t believe it!” 

“I know, I’m gonna be as tall as Dean soon!” He laughed.

Cas was so thankful to be home. He felt like he had been robbed of something, missing Sam growing taller.

“It’s like the land of giants around here,” Gabe pouted.

“You are just short,” Anna added with a gentle whack to Gabe’s shoulder.

“I’m average! I’m 5’8”!”

“And that’s short,” Anna grinned, slightly taller than him as well.

“Gabe!” Sam grinned, reaching to shake his hand but Gabe subverted for a hug instead. 

“Good to finally meet you!” Gabe grinned. 

“You too!” Sam laughed.

Sam shook Anna’s hand as well and the group all managed to move into the house with their luggage.

“Cas!” Charlie yelled, running from the kitchen to hug him.

“Charlie!” Cas hugged her tiny frame tightly. “I’ve missed you!” She stepped back whacking his shoulder. She turned, spying Anna through the crowd, moving to her immediately. “Anna!”

“Charlie!” The girls hugged and immediately slipped into conversation.

“Hey there, boy.”

Cas turned around. A warm rush filled him unexpectedly. “Bobby!” He hugged the man, realizing just how much he missed him. “I missed you!”

Bobby let him go, stepping back with a smirk. “You just missed my charming personality.”

“I did!” Cas laughed, feeling near to tears again.

“The infamous Bob!” Gabe cut in, hugging him.

“Gabe,” Bobby grinned, patting him awkwardly.

Cas stepped back, bumping into Benny. “Benny!” He hugged him. He had never hugged so many people before in his life. The guy next to Benny gave him a friendly wave.

“Hi!” Cas said, squinting. “You look familiar.”

“This is Alfie, the guy-” Benny started.

“The guy I got the number from!” Cas laughed. “I see you called.”

Alfie grinned, slipping his smaller hand into Benny’s. “He did.”

“Let’s get these guys settled,” Dean suggested, taking Cas’ suitcase.

“Gabe, Anna,” Sam called, “your room is up here.” Sam took them up the steps, pointing toward the master bedroom. “Sorry you have to share. If you’d prefer, one of you can sleep on the couch downstairs.”

Cas followed Dean into their room with a grin, shutting the door and locking it, crowd in the hall be damned.

“What are you doin?” Gabe thumped on the door with a loud tease.

Dean thumped Cas right back against the door, crashing a kiss into him that had Cas gasping and moaning in seconds.

Steering Cas by the belt loops, he drove him down to the bed, straddling him. “God, I missed you.”

Cas gasped, pulling his lips away to answer him. “Missed you too. So much, Dean.”

Dean slowed his kisses, resting his forehead on Cas’. He seemed to be breathing him in.

“Dean,” Cas whispered, squeezing his hips gently.

Dean’s eyes opened. “We should...move.”

Cas grinned, grinding his crotch into Dean’s.

Dean’s face flushed, and his mouth parted. “Don’t tease.” He ground back down against Cas. “You have no idea how bad I want to strip you down and take you right now.” The look of hunger in Dean’s eyes was enough to make chills run down Cas’ back.

His breath hitched. “I do know.”

They stared for a long moment, Dean finally dipping down to kiss him. The strength and need in the muscles of his lips and tongue promised everything Cas wanted.

Pulling up with a sigh, Dean rolled off him and sat up.

Disheveled and still breathing heavy, Cas sat up to put himself back together. They exchanged a charged grin and got up.

“Let’s get this social shit out of the way so I can get back to what I was doing,” Dean growled.

Cas’ smile stayed in place as they left and went downstairs to join the others. Dean was all that he had missed and more.

Everyone was in the living room and Cas deemed it time to make his announcement. He stood up. “I have an announcement.”

“Oh! This is good!” Gabe grinned, whistling to gain everyone’s attention. “Cas has an announcement!”

Cas gave his friend an appreciative nod. “I am very happy to announce that I am not going back to Massachusetts.”

Shock and a pregnant pause filled the room.

“I have two classes left and I’m able to do them from here, online.” His eyes fell back on Dean’s shocked face. He shrugged shyly. “I’m home.”

Dean choked out a breath of shock.

“I’m here to stay,” Cas reworded for him.

Dean covered his mouth, looking near to tears. Everyone around them erupted in cheers and congratulations. Cas felt a lot of pats on his back, but his whole concern was on Dean. He stepped closer, putting a hand on his upper arm. “I’m not leaving.”

A tear ran down Dean’s cheek as he stood frozen. He lifted his hand away from his mouth. “Are you fucking serious?” He asked a trembly, hopeful voice.

Cas nodded. “I did extra classes this semester and worked out a deal with my professors. I... I want to be here for Sam’s last year and for...well...us.”

Dean’s face fought hard not to cry as he hugged Cas in a crushing embrace.

“You’re staying?” Dean choked out, his head buried in Cas’ neck.

“I’m staying!” Cas laughed, a few tears of joy sliding free.

Dean held him back, staring into his face with raw and open elation. “You’re not going back? But you’re gonna graduate? But, your scholarships?”

“It’s all taken care of. I wasn’t sure I could pull it off, but I did!”

“Cas!” Dean pulled him in again, crushing him and rocking him. “Can’t believe you did this! Can’t believe it!”

Cas tried his best to soothe the shock and emotion vibrating through Dean’s body. “I love you, Dean,” he whispered. “I love Sam. I had to be here. I just had to find a way.”

Dean finally relaxed his hug, wiping his own face off. “Shit! Now we really need to celebrate!” He yelled.

Cas laughed, barely managing to kiss Dean back. As the pair stepped slightly apart, he was shocked to see others wiping tears off their cheeks as well. Anna, Charlie, Sam, Alfie, shit...even Bobby was clearing his throat and scrubbing at his nose.

His eyes met Sam’s, who looked away, trying to hold himself together. Cas stepped over to him. “I couldn’t miss Prom and Graduation and all the little stuff.” He smiled with a wobble as Sam hugged him.

“I’m so glad!” Sam choked out. “It just wasn’t the same here without you!”

Cas held him tight, knowing this had some to do with the fact that Sam saw him as a brother. As family. And sometimes he even seemed to see him as a father figure. He let Sam go, the pair exchanging a meaningful little nod. They had stayed close while he was away. But it wasn’t enough. He could see it in the quiet moments on camera. He could hear it in his voice when he just called to chat. Sam needed more support. Dean too. And he did as well. They had lost enough this year. Time was precious, and he didn’t want to waste any of it.

“You knew?” Dean was asking Gabe.

“I knew,” Gabe admitted smugly. “Did some of the leg work for him over the summer.”

“You knew before you left?” Dean asked Cas.

Cas shrugged, feeling slightly guilty about that part. “I knew it was a shaky possibility. I was afraid it wouldn’t pan out, so I kept it quiet. I didn’t actually know until yesterday.”

Dean hugged him again, more relaxed and just plain happy this time. 

They all celebrated and carried on for several hours. When everyone had left, including Anna, who went home with Charlie, they cleaned up and headed for bed.

“Don’t keep me up,” Sam grinned, “I have school tomorrow.” He waved goodnight, shutting his bedroom door.

“I’ll put my earbuds in,” Gabe said, shaking his head at the pair of them. “You hear that Sam! Put your earbuds in if you don’t want scarred for life!”

“Got it!” They heard Sam yell back.

Gabe shut the door to the master bedroom with a wink to Cas.

Dean laughed, shutting their door and locking it. He stared at him as he went to sit on the bed, kicking his shoes off. “I can’t fucking believe you’re here for good!”

“Me either!” Cas admitted, pulling his shirt off and kicking his own shoes off. “I did it! It was a nightmare. I carried 23 credits this semester!”

Dean didn’t even know what that meant but shook his head in wonder all the same.

“It’s over,” Dean grinned. “I got you.”

Cas laughed, letting Dean pull him onto the bed. Dean pushed him onto his back and devoured him in a kiss that had them both shedding the rest of their clothes, fighting to get under the covers, and touching each other everywhere.

 

********************************

 

Dean woke up early the next morning. Weak light filtered through his bedroom window. He grinned at the weight of Cas on his arm, still the little spoon tucked tightly along his chest, groin, and legs. Perfect. Cas was perfect. And here to stay. He’d fought so hard to be here.

He ran his hand down the length of his arm, kissing his bare shoulder. Just thinking about how hard Cas had worked to be here in his arms made him hug him to himself tighter, as if he could disappear.

“Is it okay? What I did?” Cas asked.

Dean was surprised he was awake. He leaned back, letting Cas roll to his back so he could see his face. His eyes were always so blue first thing in the morning. “What do you mean?”

“I just...made a move without asking you and... I hope it’s okay. That I want to live here. For good. I...”

“Cas,” Dean said with some surprise, making him look at him, “I want you here. Forever. I mean...” the weight of what he had just said hit him suddenly. “Shit. I didn’t even really think of it that way, but...yeah. I want you to live here with us. I love you. I mean it. This is...I’m...”

Cas bit his lip, looking up at Dean.

Crazy, insane thoughts ran rampant through his mind. ‘Marry me’ he wanted to say. ‘Stay with me forever!’ Propose? He was so tempted. So very, very tempted to ask him. He grinned, knowing the answer he would get. It was written in the absolute trust Cas had in him. The way he gave his body so freely. The look in his eyes.

“You couldn’t have made me any happier. There is nothing I wanted more than to hear you say you’re done with Harvard. Or done living there anyway.” He grinned, getting an immediate grin back from Cas. He put his hand flat on Cas’ chest. “I want you right here. With me.”

Cas let out a breath and relaxed in his arms again. “I’m so happy to be here.”

Dean laughed softly, leaning down to kiss him.

“Make love to me,” Cas whispered.

Dean’s grin grew. He was so damn happy he forgot to be nervous about the consequences of it. Too much happy had led to a lot of disappointment for him over the years. But not this. Not Cas. This happiness was his, and he was taking it.


	14. Timestamp 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this story! Thank you for every kudo and comment! You guys are amazing!  
> Enjoy some happy fluff! Our boys so deserve the good feels!

Chapter 14: Time Stamp

 

Dean fidgeted with the sleeve of his dress shirt. He hated dressing up. Cas always insisted he looked so good when he did, but all he could think about was how annoying dress pants felt, how thin socks slipped a little in dress shoes, and how a t-shirt under a dress shirt felt incredibly different than a t-shirt under a flannel. And why were suit jacket shoulders not built for lifting your arms? And a tie might as well be a noose!

“You okay?” Charlie whispered, bumping his shoulder.

“M fine,” Dean mumbled, loosening his tie. Graduation music began playing and Dean could see students pace into the auditorium neat and orderly in their caps and gowns.

“Look at him. He’s so handsome,” Charlie sniffled. “I can’t believe he’s graduating from college. Where does the time go?”

“You sound like an old lady,” Dean griped. It was true though. Time had flown by. It seemed like only yesterday he and Cas were sitting around the kitchen table with Sam, going over the three colleges he had applied for and been accepted to. In the end, Sam had chosen Kansas University and he was graduating to be a physical therapist. He had always been interested in law before his senior year of high school. But with a lot of talk about what he loved to do, influenced by Cas and Gabe, Sam took a turn to the medical field. It suited him. And he had flourished in college. AND he wasn’t far from home, which turned out to be very important to him. And of course, it made Dean and Cas happier.

Dean had never been to college, but he felt like he had been. Between Sam’s five years of school and Cas getting his doctorate, it seemed like he had been through it himself.

Cas came down the aisle, looking insanely handsome in his black suit. He pardoned his way into their row, taking the seat between Dean and Bobby. “Sorry,” Cas murmured.

“Where’d you go?” Dean asked. He could tell Cas had been rushing doing whatever it was he had disappeared to do.

Cas tipped his head, frowning. “Sam couldn’t find his tassel.”

Dean frowned. “So...”

“So he called and asked me to run to the car to look for it. I found it.”

Dean shook his head.

Cas gave him a guilty grin. “He didn’t want me tell you. He said you would make fun of him.”

Dean scoffed.

“I assured him you would do no such thing.” He pinned Dean with a loving side-eye. “So, don’t.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Dean smirked. “Boy, he knows who to call to save his ass.”

Cas grimaced. “He was embarrassed. Leave him alone. Today is his day.”

Dean grinned, taking Cas’ hand as they watched the group be seated. They could pick out Sam, sitting tall amongst his peers. “I’m glad you found it.”

Cas squeezed his hand.

Dean wondered just what Sam’s life would turn out like. He had planned several interviews for jobs. Until he got on his feet, he was moving back home. No matter what, Sam was happy. And Dean couldn’t be any prouder of him.

Cas bumped his shoulder gently, giving him a rather sappy grin. “We did good.”

Dean put his arm around Cas. “Yeah, we did.”

 

After the ceremony, they all caravanned back to the Winchester’s house, where Jody and Gabe had a slew of food ready and waiting. 

They had done quite a bit over the past several years to improve the house. The basement had been refinished, giving them a great family room. The office had been cleaned out and freshened up and was now Cas’ home office. To Dean’s utter joy, a garage had been added to the side of the house. The master bedroom had been gutted and turned into a hallway leading to the above garage suite where Cas and Dean had a bedroom and bathroom to themselves. The rest of the master bedroom had been turned into a spare room that currently held their seasonal clothes and decorations. Cas had found it quite ironic that he had never moved his mother’s things from the house. They had simply changed rooms, ending up pretty much where they had begun. He kept his mom’s half-read book on his nightstand as a reminder that life was unpredictable and to never let the important things go without either being said or completed.

They had plans to do more, but until the rest of Cas’ student loans and one from Sam’s expenses was paid off, the house was as good as it could get for now.

Sam had made his rounds, thanking everyone and hugging them. Dean had thought that maybe when Sam graduated, that all his stress for his brother would go away. But he realized, as he hoped Sam would find a job, that his life would be so good, that his stress worrying about Sam would never end.

He handed Cas his mug of coffee in his favorite mug with an angel wing on it.

“Thank you,” Cas grinned, leaning against him as he put his arm around him. They both stood there watching Sam revel in a story about his friends and an anatomy dummy.

Gabe had made sure Sam got whatever internships he wanted, including one at the local hospital where Gabe worked. They geeked out over medical crap all the time. Gabe was an ER doctor and always had crazy stories to tell.

Everyone laughed at the end of Sam’s story and he edged his way over to them, shoving between them to stretch his arms around their shoulders. He dropped his head onto Dean’s with an exhausted sigh. “I did it guys.”

“Yes, you did,” Dean grinned. “I’m proud of you.”

“I knew you would make it through just fine,” Cas said. “And I am so proud of you too.”

Sam hugged them both tighter. 

“Dad woulda been real proud of you too,” Dean said a little quieter. 

Sam nodded.

“Mom too,” Cas grinned at the pair of them. The three of them often joked about what John and Naomi would think about he and Cas ending up together. About just how tight their family was, even without them.

Sam nodded with an appreciative grin. “Thanks. And thank you. Both of you. For being...everything to me.”

Dean and Cas nodded, both looking close to tears. 

“I never told you this,” Sam grinned, huffing a little laugh, “but second year at KU, I had this Human Growth and Development class and we had an assignment to write about our parents. So, I really didn’t feel like dealing with the whole ‘my mom and dad are dead’ shit, so I wrote this huge paper on the two of you. My two dads.”

Dean and Cas exchanged a look and laughed.

“It really would’ve been no big deal but like two weeks later she wanted a family tree assignment. She emailed me all confused. Is Castiel your dad or your brother?”

“Jeez, Sam,” Dean frowned, half laughing.

“I explained the whole situation,” Sam laughed, and she emailed me a list of free counselors I could go see! She said I had complicated dad issues!”

They laughed. There was truth in it, and on a sad day the story wouldn’t be funny. But today, like most days, was a good day. And even on the rough days, knowing Sam had a lot of family that cared about him, related by blood or not, made life so much better.

 

**********************  
**********************

 

He called for an Uber to get to the address he had from a shoebox of papers he had found in his mother’s things. To say he was nervous was a total understatement. The Lyft driver that picked him up and took him much too quickly across town to the correct street. And then the correct house. He paid the guy, who had not quit talking the whole drive, taking his bag and closing the car door. 

A pang of insecurity hit him hard as the little blue car drove away.

He turned back to the house. It was a two-story house with white siding and a black roof. One of the doors to the two-car garage was open, revealing the back end of a sweet ‘67 Impala. He cleared his throat nervously, hemming closer toward the door. Black metal numbers 148 hung by the white front door. The mailbox at the sidewalk read Winchester in faded letters. He had figured they would have moved by now, but according to the mailbox, some Winchester still lived here. It was the right house. It was a nice house. The yard was neat with trimmed grass and bushes. It was…average. That was a good thing, right? It was average looking. So maybe the people inside were average. Average meant normal. And normal meant safe.

He cleared his throat, biting on his lower lip. This had seemed like a better idea several hundred miles ago. Now...he wasn’t so sure.

Stowing his insecurities, he climbed the five steps of the front porch, taking a deep breath as he knocked on the door. 

“Just a minute!” Came a yell from inside.

He stepped back, adjusting his backpack nervously.

The door opened. “Can I help you?” A brown-haired guy that was a good four inches taller than him asked.

“H-hi, um,”

“I told you to do the dishes, Sam!” Another yell came from inside.

Sam turned with a glare. “I will in a minute!” He turned back, brows raised in question as to why a stranger stood at his door.

Shit. He really should’ve thought about what the hell he was going to say. He sighed. There was no way this was going to go smoothly anyway. He might as well just jump the shark and see what the hell happened. “My name is Adam.” He swallowed hard. “A-Adam Mulligan. My dad is...was John Winchester.”

“Wait,” Sam said with a look of guarded suspicion. “You’re who? Whose son?” He glanced around, seeing Adam was alone. 

Adam stared at him. “I’m your half-brother.”

Sam stared back. His frown altered slightly but still looked suspicious. “Um...come in.”

Adam managed a nervous smile back, stepping inside. Hardwood floors and white trim gave the house clean lines. Stairs lead upward, and a hall led back to a kitchen. 

A guy came around the corner from the kitchen with an irritated look on his face. “Who’s this? Who are you?”

Adam began to answer but the taller one turned to the man. “This is...uh...he says he’s Dad’s son.”

He turned back to him. “I’m Sam. This is my brother, Dean.”

Adam nodded, finally putting faces with names. His mother had told him about John’s sons. But other than a pair of names, he knew almost nothing about them.

Dean joined his brother, looking at Adam as if he were an unwelcome problem, which, he totally was. “I don’t think so. I’ve never heard about another kid.”

“Figures,” Adam huffed. “I only remember seeing him two or three times.”

“So,” Sam jumped back in, “Dad knew about you?”

Dean looked even less convinced.

Another man came through the kitchen, heading into the living room to join them. He gave them all a curious look.

“I think you need ta go,” Dean said pointedly.

Adam swayed in his spot slightly but knew he had nowhere else to go. “I have pictures.”

“What’s going on?” The third man asked.

“This kid showed up at the door,” Dean started.

“Adam,” Sam offered more quietly.

“Adam, showed up at the door and SAYS he’s our dad’s son.”

“Our half-brother,” Sam mumbled, staring hard at him.

“Well,” the third man studied him just as hard, “he kind of looks like you, Dean.”

“What? He does not!” Dean snapped.

Trying hard to piece things together, Adam cleared his throat. “Are you John’s son too?”

“Me?” The man blanched, “No. I’m Cas. I’m Dean’s husband.”

“Oh!” Well, shit. He hadn’t seen that one coming. “Okay. Well, like I said, I do have pictures.”

“Let’s see them,” Sam said, looking very curious. Dean crossed his arms over his chest, looking pissed. Cas looked as curious as Sam.

Adam slid his back pack off his shoulder, kneeling down to dig out the pictures. He pulled out a big envelope, digging inside it for the three pictures he had.

“Here, this is when I was three. I don’t really remember it, but I guess he stayed with us for a few weeks.”

“How old are you?” Dean snapped, seeming ready to disprove him.

“I’m 15.”

“Twelve years ago,” Sam mumbled, “I woulda been twelve.” He and Dean stared at each other.

“No...” Dean shook his head.

“What?” Cas asked.

Sam cleared his throat. “When I was twelve, Dean was sixteen. It was when he first told Dad he was into guys. Him and Dad fought a lot. Dad left for a while. We had to go stay with Bobby.”

Adam’s hopes started to sink. It seemed even if he was proving himself, it was making the situation worse.

Dean was staring at the picture of his dad holding him, his mom standing next to them.

“Dean,” Sam said quietly. “Back then, Dad used to skip town for two or three days at a time. A week even.”

Dean rubbed a hand across his mouth, looking angry.

Adam offered the next picture. “This was when I was five. That trip I remember. He took me to a baseball game.”

The photo was passed among the three of them.

“This is when I was six. Same thing. Came for my birthday and took me to a baseball game.”

“So,” Cas asked, “he just showed up from time to time?”

“Yeah,” Adam nodded. “My mom wouldn’t move. It was something they had fought about. She wouldn’t leave, and she really didn’t want anything to do with him. She always said he never really got over your mom.”

“Still,” Sam shook his head, “why would he keep it a secret?”

Adam shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“So, you were born when I was...nine.” Sam said. “And Dad came to see you? Where do you live?”

“I grew up a few hours from here. John only came a few times after I was born. Mom didn’t tell him until I was three. She made it clear she never wanted anything to do with him. She never wanted support either. She said John was a...” he faltered, not wanting to make himself more of an enemy here. “She said he had a family and that we were just an accident to him.” He shrugged.

Dean and Sam just stared at him. Cas kept looking at the pictures.

“Adam,” Cas asked quietly, looking up at him, “what made you come find Dean and Sam?”

“Oh, um...my mom died last winter.”

Dean’s mouth parted, Sam looked immediately apologetic, and Cas stared on with confusion. “Your mother passed away?”

Adam squirmed under their heavy attention. “She had a heart attack. She had a history of heart problems.”

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” Cas said, looking back at the pictures sadly.

Adam swallowed nervously. “School just ended, and my foster family are serious assholes. So…I came here.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Okay?”

“Dean,” Cas scolded softly, making Dean at least look away guiltily.

“Are you…planning on staying here?” Sam asked, eyeing his bag curiously.

“Well, I ditched the foster fam’. Figured I’d check out...you two.”

Dean looked less than enthusiastic at that. “Dude…we don’t even know you.”

Adam took a step back closer toward the door.

“Dude,” Sam scolded, whacking Dean on the shoulder, “he’s here to…” he turned back to Adam. “Of course you can stay here.”

Dean out-right frowned at that. “Dude, you don’t just invite people into our house.”

Cas raised an eyebrow, to which Dean rolled his eyes and seemed to give up.

“He’s family,” Sam insisted. “I mean, technically.”

The brothers stared at him briefly, Adam feeling a growing flush heat his cheeks. 

Dean rolled his eyes again, shrugging. “Whatever.”

“Come in,” Sam waved, heading toward the kitchen. 

Adam followed hesitantly, walking past Dean and Cas.

The hardwood continued into the kitchen with dark brown cabinets on two walls. A square table sat in the kitchen’s center with a blue tablecloth and a planter with flowers sitting in its center. The counter beside the sink was covered with dirty dishes.

“Can I get you a drink?” Sam asked, opening the fridge. 

Adam swallowed. “Just water is fine. Thank you.”

Sam got a glass and ice. As he filled the glass at the sink, Adam’s curiosity drew him to the fridge. There was a picture of John and a woman with Sam by a tree somewhere. They were all smiling. It was strange to see John’s picture in another house. Another picture showed Dean and Sam standing by a lake with fishing poles. Another was a picture of Cas and the woman in a restaurant. Family pictures. And, of course, no hint of the existence of him here.

He turned, realizing Sam was standing there with a glass of ice water. “Thank you,” he said quickly, taking the glass. 

Dean was leaning against the other counter, watching him. Cas had followed him into the kitchen, watching him with a haunted look.

“Sorry about your mom,” Sam said with an apologetic grin.

Adam nodded. 

“You said you ran away from your foster family?” Dean asked. It came out flat, but he suspected Dean might be warming up to the idea that his dad had another kid.

“Uh...yeah.”

Dean rubbed at his mouth again nervously, exchanging a look with Cas and Sam. He slid his hand into the pocket of his jeans with a sigh. “I’m gonna have to call it in.”

Adam looked at all three of them. “I know you don’t know me.” He sighed. “I shouldn’t have come.”

Sam stepped away from the sink, where he hadn’t started washing dishes yet. “Adam, sorry, but this is a lot to take in.” He ran a hand through his chin-length brown hair. “So, you don’t have any family? I mean, besides...us?”

Adam shook his head no. He stared at the fridge again. There were other pictures. Pictures of Cas and Dean. Dean and Sam. The three of them. The three of them with several other people. Two red-headed women. Friends, he supposed. Or more family.

“So,” Dean went on coolly, “you just figured you’d stop here and what? Say hi? Move in? What’s the plan?”

“Dean,” Cas interrupted him, joining him at the counter. “He just lost his mom. He’s alone and...”

It was interesting to see how Dean softened at the words and just one long look from his husband. He sighed but went on with more understanding. “Adam, I have to call it in, for your sake and mine. And... I am sorry to hear about your mom.”

Cas gave Dean another small grin with expectant eyes.

Dean tried to ignore it, but it was obvious how the man could push his buttons. “And just...put the bag down. Let’s see what we can figure out here. If you’re family, then you’re family.” 

Adam could tell that he meant it. And it was enough to relax his tight shoulders a little. Enough to unclench his stomach a little. “Sorry to end up on your doorstep like this. I just didn’t know what else to do.”

Sam came over, taking his back pack and steering him to sit at the table and joined him. “I’m glad you did, Adam. Otherwise, we would have never known you were out there.”

Sam gave him a smile that was kind enough to make him think he might have done the right thing by coming here.

Sam huffed a laugh. He grinned at Adam even harder. “I have another brother.”


	15. Timestamp 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, last little nugget of joy!

Chapter 15: Time Stamp 2

 

“Can I get you boys anything else?” Jo grinned, sitting the bill on the table.

“Boys,” Sam laughed, “these guys are old men!” 

“Yo day’s comin’!” Benny laughed.

“Happy Birthday, Cas,” Jo added before she turned to leave.

“Thank you!” Cas called as she gave him a wink over her shoulder. “I can’t believe I’m 31!”

Dean slapped his hand down on Cas’ knee, giving it a squeeze. “Thirty-one and we have Sam out of the house and on his own and Adam graduated from high school. I’d say we’ve accomplished a lot already!”

Adam chuckled at that. Sam shook Adam’s shoulder with a warm squeeze. “And now he’ll be gone to mechanic school for 18 months.”

Adam nodded. “I can’t wait. And you two will have the house to yourselves!”

Dean shrugged that off. “Your room is still there when you need it.”

Sam took the bill, opening his wallet. “It took them two years after I owned my own house to finally turn my room into a guest room.”

Adam nodded. “I’m sure I’ll be back when school’s over. Just until Bobby pays me enough to earn my way out.”

Bobby grinned. “Guess we’ll see how good a mechanic you become.”

“Well, between you and Dean, I feel like I’m going to school to get the degree. I already know what I’m doing!”

“Oh, you’ll learn,” Dean grinned. “I thought I knew it all too until I went to some classes. Turns out I don’t actually know everything.”

“Ooohhh!” Benny, Cas, Sam, and Charlie hollered, breaking out into a shower of ‘Did you hear that’s’.

“Ha ha,” Dean smirked around the table.

Cas snatched the bill from Sam’s hand, tugging it out of his swiping reach. “I got it, Sam!”

“No!”

Jo came back over with a grin. “Oh, fighting over the bill? Shocker. That’s only half.” She dangled another bill in her hand, Sam snatching it. “There’s the other half. Now you don’t need to fight over it.”

“You’re the best, Jo!” Dean grinned.

“Feel free to tip on both.” She left with a wave to the rowdy group.

Cas and Sam appeased, Charlie leaned forward. “So, what are you two going to do while Adam’s away? Adopt babies?”

“No,” Cas and Dean laughed.

“A puppy? A kitten!”

“No,” Dean shook his head.

“Maybe,” Cas grinned at him.

“We do not need a puppy,” Dean said flatly.

“He wouldn’t ever let me get one either,” Sam added.

Cas turned back to Dean with a pout.

Dean sighed. “Dammit.”

 

 

****************************************  
****************************************  
****************************************

 

He called for an Uber to get to the address he had on a worn slip of paper. To say he was nervous was a total understatement. The car that picked him up took him much too quickly across town to the correct street. And then the correct house. He paid the quiet driver, taking his bag and closing the car door. 

A pang of insecurity hit him hard as the little silver car drove away. This was a bad idea. A really bad idea. He couldn’t just show up like this! He should have called. Why hadn’t he called! 

He paced back and forth a few steps, biting on his thumb nail.

He turned back to the house. It was a two-story house with white siding and a black roof. Five windows across the top, one large picture window, a door, and another window across the bottom. And a nice garage. A black car and a blue truck were parked in the driveway. He took a few steps closer to the porch. Black metal numbers 148 hung by the white front door. The mailbox at the sidewalk read Winchester in faded letters. It was the right house. It was a nice house with neatly mowed grass and trimmed bushes. He found that comforting for some odd reason. It was average looking. So maybe the people inside were average. Average meant normal. And normal meant safe.

He climbed the five steps of the front porch, taking a deep breath as he knocked on the door. 

“Just a minute!” Came a yell from inside.

He stepped back, tugging nervously on his jacket sleeves.

The door opened. “Can I help you?” A tall, brown haired man asked.

“H-hi, um,”

“I told you to pull those burgers out of the fridge, Sam!” Another yell came from inside.

Sam turned with a glare. “I will in a minute!” He turned back, brows raised in question as to why a stranger stood at his door.

And of course he would wonder that. After all, he was standing here. At a house where no one knew him. He swallowed hard, starting his rehearsed introduction again. “My name is Jack. I’m looking for Castiel. I’m his cousin. But he doesn’t really know me. I mean, we met once. But I’ve been looking for him. Um...” 

“Wait,” Sam said with a look of confusion. Then he laughed. What did that mean? “You’re Jack. Cas’ cousin.”

“Yes,” Jack nodded.

“But he doesn’t really know you.”

“Right,” Jack nodded again, feeling nauseous. 

“Naomi’s nephew?” The man guessed.

“Yes.”

He laughed, waving him in. “Come in!”

Jack smiled back nervously, stepping inside. Hardwood floors and white trim gave the house clean lines. Stairs lead upward and a hall led back to a kitchen. 

A guy came around the corner from the kitchen with an irritated look on his face. “Who’s this? Who are you?”

Jack began to answer but Sam turned to him excitedly. “This is Jack. Naomi’s nephew!”

Sam turned back to him. “I’m Sam. This is my brother, Dean.”

Jack nodded, neither name meaning anything to him. He was a bit taken aback by Sam finding his introduction funny.

Dean joined his brother, looking at Jack as if he were an unwelcome problem. “You’re kidding. Right?”

“No,” Sam laughed.

“He has a bag,” Dean said, eyes lifting in tempered exhaustion.

“Uh oh,” another man, closer to Jack’s age grinned, coming into the living room. “Another wayward kid ringing your doorbell Dean?”

“This is Adam,” Sam introduced, still looking amused. “He’s my and Dean’s brother.”

“Oh!” Jack nodded, trying to keep up.  
Another man came from the kitchen. “What’s going on?”

“Well, looks like it’s your turn, Cas,” Dean grinned.

Jack swallowed nervously. “Castiel?”

Castiel gave him a curious look, coming closer. “I am. Who are you?”

Jack blinked owlishly. He had rehearsed this so many times. “I’m sure you don’t remember me-”

“Jack?” Castiel asked, stepping closer.

Jack grinned with some relief. “I am! Yes!”

Castiel grinned wide. “This is Zachariah’s son. I haven’t seen you since Mom’s funeral. You were only...five or six years old then.”

Jack swallowed nervously again. 

Dean raised an eyebrow. “He showed up with a bag. You know. Like people do here.”

Adam and Castiel both exchanged a look that Jack couldn’t quite interpret.

Castiel gave him a curious look. “Are you here to visit?”

Dean and Sam chuckled.

Jack swallowed nervously again. He had never done anything like this before. He had no idea what to expect. He really didn’t know any of them. And there seemed to be a lot of them. “My dad kicked me out.”

“And there you have it,” Dean grinned, as if he saw this coming a mile away.

“Are you…staying here?” Sam asked, eyeing his bag curiously.

“Of course he is,” Castiel jumped in, getting a grin from Sam and a shrug from Dean. Adam started to laugh.

Dean glared at his brother. “Quit answering my door. Every time you answer the damn door, we get another stray.”

“Dude,” Sam scolded, whacking Dean on the shoulder, “he’s family!”

Dean out-right frowned at that. “Dude, go home and answer your own damn door!”

Sam and Adam laughed, but Jack was growing nervous.

“He’s family,” Sam insisted. “I mean, Cas’ family, so...”

The brothers stared at him briefly, Jack feeling a growing flush heat his cheeks. 

Dean laughed. “Just put your bag by the steps, Jack.”

Jack looked at Castiel for confirmation. “Jack,” Castiel said, taking his bag for him. “Let me introduce you properly. This is my husband, Dean. My brothers-in-law, Sam and Adam. Sam lives a few blocks away. And Adam lives with us, but he’ll be leaving for a school in a month.”

Jack nodded at all of them in turn.

“Come on in,” Sam grinned, heading into the kitchen.

“Yes,” Dean waved, “come on in.” Castiel whacked Dean’s shoulder, probably from the note of insincerity to his words. “What?” He laughed, getting a head shake and grin from Castiel.

Jack followed Sam and Adam hesitantly, walking past Castiel and Dean.

The hardwood floors continued into the kitchen with dark brown cabinets on two walls. A square table sat in the kitchen’s center, cluttered with dishes of food. The counter was prepped for cooking and Jack could smell a charcoal grill through the open window.

“Can I get you a drink?” Sam asked, opening the fridge. 

Jack swallowed. “Just water is fine. Thank you.”

Sam got a glass and ice. As he filled the glass at the sink, Jack’s curiosity drew him to the fridge. There was a picture of a man and Aunt Naomi with Sam by a tree somewhere. They were all smiling. Another picture showed Dean and Sam standing by a lake with fishing poles. Another was a picture of Castiel and his mother at a restaurant. She looked happy. This woman he never met and had looked up to, had escaped Zachariah and his regime of poison. If she could do it, so could he. “Who’s this?” He asked, pointing to the man with Naomi.

He turned, realizing Sam was standing there with a glass of ice water. “Thank you,” he said quickly, taking the glass. 

“That’s my dad. John Winchester. He and Naomi dated and had plans to get married. But they died shortly before the wedding.”

He looked at Castiel and Dean curiously. They both leaned against the counter. “So, your parents...dated?”

The pair nodded. 

“This is all so...”

“Weird?” Adam supplied. “I showed up here just like you. I thought it was all a little weird at first too. But, trust me...it’s a good home.”

“Apparently,” Dean grinned. “I think our address is listed on Craigslist or something.” Castiel elbowed him, grinning.

“Well, lucky for you,” Sam said to his brother. He turned to Jack. “Cas showed up here the same way. No warning. We didn’t know him. And next thing you know, Dean’s taking camping trips and getting his lunches packed for him.”

Dean gave his brother the finger, making Jack grin a little.

Castiel chuckled.

“Oh whatever,” Sam laughed at Castiel, “you damn near quit school to stay here!”

“True,” Castiel laughed, turning to kiss Dean on the cheek, who turned, kissing him on the mouth.

Jack grinned wide. This was family. These people knew everything about each other. They loved each other. You could feel it!

Sobering, Castiel turned back to Jack. “I can still remember how hard it was to come here that first time. I was...terrified.”

Dean put his arm around Castiel’s shoulders. “We took you in.”

“You did,” Castiel nodded, “but you weren’t nearly as kind about it as you are now.”

“Yeah, with me either,” Adam piped in, sitting at the table.

“Hey!” Dean defended, “I learn! I’m trainable!”

Sam, Cas, and Adam all laughed at that, making Jack grin again.

“I do apologize for just showing up,” Jack added.

“Jack,” Castiel said, catching him with a look of concern, “what happened that Zachariah...”

“Kicked me out?” Jack supplied.

Castiel gave him an apologetic grin.

“I-I just finished eleventh grade and I... I have been at odds with my father. For years. And I think...I think I...”. He stammered, looking at all four men in wonder. “My father talks about your mother sometimes. How...defiant she was. How...she wanted to be a better person than the devious, evil people my, our, family is. I couldn’t take it there anymore. I told him as much.” He took a deep breath, the men watching him with growing worry. “I refuse to...hate like they do. To...take from everyone and think yourself kings of the world! I quit school. I ran away. And they made me come back and... I told my father he was an evil man. His business dealings are corrupt and he takes advantage of the poor. He’s despicable. And I told him as much. And he threw me out. Said I was a disgrace. That I’m weak, like my aunt Naomi. He...he said I can’t come back. He... So…I came here.”

Castiel crossed the kitchen, hugging him. It surprised him. His family was not customary with such things. He hesitated but hugged him back. “I’m so sorry that happened. It’s going to be okay.”

Jack sighed, letting Castiel take his weight for a moment. Just let him hold his heavy, heavy heart and troubles. He had never had a warm shoulder like this before. Friends, yes. But family that understood him on a different level, no.

After a few minutes, he swiped a tear away and stood back, giving Castiel an appreciative nod. “So... I went to Uncle Marv’s and got him to tell me all about Naomi. About how she just walked away from them all. About you. And where you were. And... I came.”

“Sorry about your family,” Sam said with an apologetic grin.

Jack nodded. 

“Yeah, we met Zachariah. He’s a whole bag of dicks, kid,” Dean added.

“He gave me money,” Jack added, pulling a check out of his pocket. “He told me not to come back.”

Dean crossed the kitchen, taking it. “Ooo, look, Sam, this one comes with a check!”

“Dean!” Sam and Cas scolded. Adam chuckled.

“Kidding!” He laughed. “I’ll put this in Cas’ office for you, Jack. You can do what you want with it.”

Jack frowned uncertainly. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. About anything.”

Dean steered him over to the table. “Well kid, first, we’re gonna have dinner. We’ll figure out the rest tomorrow.”

“Thank you, for letting me in,” Jack said quietly.

“There’s just somethin’ about my front door,” Dean grinned, winking at Cas, then grinning at Adam. “It’s brought me good things so far.” His eyes settled on him with a gentle grin. “I’m sure you’ll fit right in here.”

 

The End <3


End file.
